How do I stop feeding to sleep?

[justhayley]

Hiya,
My DS is 19 months old & I made the mistake of feeding to sleep. Actually to be honest he was premature and would fall asleep everytime he got near the boob. We co sleep and breastfeed and he still needs his milk to sleep, it's got to the point that I have know idea how to actually put him to sleep without milk. (please don't judge me I feel silly enough).

I'm now pregnant with DC2 & am thinking of stopping breatfeeding but wondering how the hell I'll get DS to go to sleep.

DP is in the Military and only home at weekends, so
Monday-Friday I'm the only one that can put DS down.

I really need to get things sorted over the next few months. DC2 isn't due till July so I have a lot of time.

Thank you

You stop worrying.

7 months is a really long time in the life of a toddler CD may have stopped feeding anyway by then. Many mum's say their DCs give up when they are OF.

Even if he doesn't, I found long light evenings meant DDs wanted to run about and play, not snuggle down and feed.

Also many older siblings instinctively know the new babies needs are different to theirs and are very good.

don't! being able to put your child to sleep when you need to is invaluable! lol
it's going to be far easier knowing you can feed him to sleep when baby arrives

I've always fed DS to sleep - it is so quick, easy, relaxing, comfortable; it works anywhere; it's great when he's poorly. It has made life immeasurably easier! There may well come a point where I have to actively wean him off it - which may be challenging - but hey you take the rough with the smooth; at least I've had plenty of smooth.

bunda That's actually what I wanted to write, but I only EBF my younger child, so had the problem the other way round.

Being able to BF to sleep, a possibly slightly over tired, DD2 after DD1 went to bed was very useful.

But it still holds that having raced about in the garden until 8 or I confess 9 at night, happily worn out toddlers BF for a lot less time and sometimes fall asleep without bothering. While in winter they get bored and cuddly and there is no escape.

Sorry OP we don't seem to have helped you at all!

Lol thanks ladies.
Didn't answer my question but it actually really did help. In RL I seem to be the ONLY person who feeds to sleep. Everyone else pops there toddlers in the cot awake and off they go to sleep for 12 hours.

My main worry is time. DS is currently laying on me dream feeding fast asleep on the sofa - if I move and try & put him to bed he'l wake up. It's not like this every night but we do get a few nights a week where he'l only sleep on me so we end up down stairs until I'm ready to sleep. When the new baby comes I won't be able to just relax with him on me until he's in a deep enough sleep for me to move.
My mum friends seem to have much more structure than us. DS is so happy and actually because it's just us mon-fri he gets 100% of my time I'm quite happy for him to snuggle up on the sofa with me

Iagree with the above perspectives, it's not some big parenting fail to feed to sleep. I have fed both mine to sleep and stopped at around 30 months with DS1 because I was 7 months pregnant with ds2. Ds 2 is 33 months and he just stopped feeding to sleep the last couple of weeks.

With ds1 I gradually substituted a story for falling asleep on the boob . We co slept, so I'd go through the usual routine ending with us both in bed. I would read a story while he nursed then we would pit the light off and snuggle down. I would let him nurse a bit, then when he was getting sleepy would say ok one more minute num num then cuddle down and listen to the story. We called it the Busy Day story and it was basically everything that he had done that day with him in the starring role. I told it in a very monotone boring voice! Gradually over time I reduced the length of that 'one minute num num' and the story took over. As a pp said, getting him really active during the day helped a lot.

You might find it helpful to start having some bedtime rules, like always ending up on bed rather than the sofa, or javing a set bedtime but only if it helps you. How do you envisage bedtime happening when your baby is here and your oh is away? Maybe if you can come up with an idea of how you want it to be you can work towards that? And btw it's very possible to cosleep with a baby and a toddler, as long as you are between them, but it would be very hard work to nurse them both to sleep I suspect. Though probably someone will come on to tell us how they did exactly that !

Good luck and don't ever regret responding to your babies.

Btw the no cry sleep solution for toddlers and preschoolers is a great read, it's where I got ideas on how to stop feeding to sleep .

I'm trying to remember what happened with my eldest when dc2 came along, 21 maths between them

I do think suddenly the eldest wanted to just go to bed, his own bed, to disassociate himself from being a baby like the new baby.

I kept up Lots of cuddles during day though which helped him still feel secure etc