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When DC push the boundaries - alternatives to sm@cking?

3 replies

whomewhoyou · 24/11/2013 15:10

DC (7yo and 3yo) really test mine and DH patience to the limit. They don't listen when I tell them to do anything, it's like we are on supernanny 24/7! Wild behaviour in public, running and screaming everywhere when other kids seem angelic and well behaved.

It's starting to wear me down, when they finally go to bed (again refusal to stay in rooms, it feels like a nightly battleground) after much screaming and shouting from me, I feel absolutely worn out.

At school I've been told they are polite and well mannered, why can't they behave like that at home?

This morning DD (7yo) refused to do as I told her and I ended up walking away crying as I felt so helpless, they seem to be in control not me.

My father - in - law keeps saying that they need firm discipline as in smacking but I don't want to resort to that, I witnessed a friend smacking her DS a few years back and it didn't seem to stop his behaviour.

Sorry for the rant but other than reward/ consequences, shouting/calm talking is there to stop my continuing stress? I feel like I am constantly telling them off and a rubbish mother, husband is just as frustrated too.

Can anyone help, am I too soft? When I shout I still feel like they don't listen! Arrgh!

Thanks for your patience with this post.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
whomewhoyou · 24/11/2013 18:24

Anyone?

OP posts:
noisytoys · 24/11/2013 18:28

DDs behaviour is shockingly bad right now so I have taken every toy she owns from her room and she has to earn them back. Any that aren't earnt back by the end of the week are going to the charity shop!

speedyboots · 24/11/2013 19:30

Give two options, eg do you want x or y for dinner? It helps them feel like they have done element of control. Pick your battles - only fight over things that have to be done such as getting ready for school. If they are good at school, it suggests they have respect for their teachers. can you threaten to tell their teacher or set up some sort of home-school book where the teacher can see how many stickers they have earned? A sticker chart often works. Or some 'can I catch you cards' - display cards that say things like, 'can I catch you being helpful?' And if you do, they get a special reward. Spending one on one time with each of them? Make it clear what is and is not acceptable and what the sanctions are.

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