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Behaviour/development

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Struglling with my 2 year old. Help .....

6 replies

imaluckylady · 22/11/2013 21:51

I could really do with some tips for dealing with my 2 year old's behaviour at the moment.
The worst of it is that he kicks, hits, bits, scratches, pulls hair and pinches. I must add that this is not constant by any stretch - he is a well-liked, sunny little boy and I don't think people think of him as 'violent - but it definitely happens too frequently - occasionally to other children (usually hair pulling or scratching). I have no idea where the behaviour has been learned, but it has now been going on for around a year (he added new methods of lashing out to his repertoire over the year ...) and I just don't know what the answer is.
My approach has always been a calm, firm 'no' to the behaviour, a simple explanation why the behaviour is wrong, and removing him from the situation. As he has got older, I have put him in a separate space and expected an apology. Most often, he laughs when he is put down and giggles hysterically at the 'game' of me putting him back when he gets up. I don't communicate with him when I do this, just calmly put him back. It really is to no avail.
Over the last couple of weeks, I have just started to lose my temper. This evening I really shouted at him for pulling my hair and again, later, when he kicked me as I put on a nappy before bed.
On top of this, he is more generally pushing boundaries - not doing as he's asked, running away laughing at bath time, when it's time to get dressed, put on shoes, etc. It is completely exhausting. I think I do a really good job of praising good behaviour (everything from playing nicely to picking something up for me, to helping with cleaning) - and especially when he does things well which have sometimes been problems - for example, holding my hand on the pavement, or when he strokes my back (very sweet).
I long for a garden where he could run around, but instead live overseas in a city where property prices are huge and where there is an absolute dirth of spaces for children to run and play in. They even have to stick to the paths in parks. I am worried that his behaviour will get worse through boredom, but I just can't be out of the house all day with him - I have to get things done here too. And besides, getting out means a looooooooong time in a pushchair because of aforementioned dirth of green space. We always go out twice a day, however.
Help!

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Milkhell · 23/11/2013 18:57

Mine's the same. Do all the same things as you. It's just how they are I think!!

The behaviour doesn't change consistent or not. I think it's being 2...

Big Wine for you. It helps me!

imaluckylady · 24/11/2013 13:29

Big glass of Wine would be wonderful..... but I'm pregnant. Right now, he is being an angel boy - sitting quietly reading his car book. I need to remind myself that he is a good boy far more often than not - it's just that some days it can feel as though I've felt cross all day!

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Milkhell · 24/11/2013 13:37

I know exactly what you mean! Other people have to remind me sometimes that he is often a 'good boy'.

Good luck with your pregnancy!

I have 7mo too so things do get challenging at times but your second slots right in Smile. They have to! X

Lesshastemorespeed · 24/11/2013 13:45

Could this be connected with your pregnancy do you think? Can he sense change ahead? Are you more tired? Less able to play like you normally do?

imaluckylady · 24/11/2013 14:29

It may be connected. I worry that if he's being really naughty/hitting/etc when the baby arrives, I will be constantly telling him off which would be especially hard for him with a new arrival. I feel a pressure to get on top of his behaviour before April when the baby is due so that a) he doesn't hit the baby and b) he doesn't feel pushed out because of being in trouble all the time. I may be over-worrying and projecting it onto him, which in turn may make his behaviour worse.
Also, we have moved overseas very recently, have much less space, and need to go a fair distance in his pushchair to reach anywhere to play. Lots of change for both of us - it is tricky and I am probably more stressed.
Having said that, he was kicking, biting, etc before we came and before I was pregnant, but I feel it may be worse now.

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pudseypie · 25/11/2013 06:46

I tell my 2 yr old ds if he does something naughty again then he goes in his cot. I always follow through and he only goes in for a couple of mins, max 5 mins and he knows it is punishment so apologises after and it usually works. He's too young to stay on one spot so I think going in the cot which he still hasn't worked out how to climb out from works for now.

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