Bedtime Hell (am I doing the right thing)

[ronnieb]

Hi
some advice please...
2 weeks ago we moved into a new house in a new town, my dd 2.4 took it really bad, but seemed to settle down after 4 days, and now during the day is a happy little girl.

however night time has become a real problem.
Unfortunatly her bedroom was really grotty, so we have made it a priority to get it decorated so we could settle her into it asap, its all painted but we are still waiting for the carpet to be laid.

at the moment she is sleeping in the double bed with me (dh is on the settee)

when we 1st moved here for about the 1st week after her bedtime story i stayed in bed with her until she fell asleep, then my dh stayed with her for a few days.

she became used to this and wouldnt lay down so in the end we both agreed that it would be best to go back to the old routine of story.. then leave her.

however for the last 4 nights we have had screeming and tears lasting around 45 mins, and she constantly gets out of the bed, runs up the hall screaming for dh or me, when she gets up, i put her back to bed without talking to her, just 'goodnight and stay in your bed'
her bedtime is at 7pm and she has finally fell asleep totally exhausted after 57 mins of screaming for us to lay with her.

you can imagine how distressing this is, my dh is now wanting to go in to her and lay with her... I keep telling him that if he does then she would have won (again !!) and keep telling dh to try and ignore the screaming and that she will eventually realise that bedtime is sleeptime.

any advice... am i doing the right thing by ignoring her, and putting her back.. or should i be comforting her.... it will be about 1 more week until her bedroom is ready

Thanks

i think you are doing fine. havnt much experience of disruptive bedtime routines so i hope that someone else will come and help you out.

I've not moved since having kids, but I would say your doing the right thing. I'm sure in your case it is the move but at the same time it doesn't take a move to bring on an unsettled bedtime phase and I think the best thing to do is persevere with the familar.... horrid in the short term, beneficial in the long run. Good luck.

feel for you as we just moved with a 6 week old baby a few months ago and its horrible when their rooms are not all comforting and homely yet. i would do the same and give her as much comfort as possible until she gets used to the new surroundings. sounds like she has already got into the idea of being with you so you may have to wean her back very gradually. good luck!

If you really disrupt her now, you will get it even worse when she moves room again.

Keep up with the comforting is mya dvice. you can move backwards from there, but once she loses confidence it is an uphill strugglw.

Once you get her in to her own room, start to withdraw gradually. Work up to sitting by her instead of lying down with her, after a few days sit next and then withdraw gradually. It takes a bit of time, but it is worth it in theend

Good luck

The sooner she can be in her own room the better until then I would comfort her as she needs it. we moved last year and it took a good while for my 2 to settle in.

Dont see it as her winning, if you back down and go into her that just makes you more fed up with it all, just try and be sympathetic to her upset. It is so hard and its a lot for them to adjust to. Things will get easier when shes in her own room and you can have all her familiar toys and teddies around her.