"PLAY WITH ME...NOW!" how to deal with a 3 year old's constant demands for play?

[Exceptionalroar]

My DS is about to turn 3. He's amazing...but demanding, like many of his age I suspect. I work part-time and he's at nursery 9-3 2 x a week and a nanny comes one day. I work at home so i see him a lot even then.

We play with him a lot, he sees other toddlers a lot, but he seems to have an insatiable appetite for attention.

This week it's gone up a notch. He screams, shouts, cries hysterically, tugs on your clothes if you leave the room...I do leave but it's difficult.

I don't know what to do for the best. Is it a normal development stage? How to encourage him to play on his own more?

He's going to be an only child so I want him to be happy on his own and feel very loved but to get the balance right.

Advice welcome!

Hi, we completely understand. You have describe some of DD behaviour and she is 4 yo. We will checking for answer as we don't have any sorry.

Hi, I know a bit how you feel. My 3.5 yo DS is always demanding that I play with him. Trouble is, I'm rubbish at it and have very little energy, imagination and patience. I try my best, but always make sure that when it's playtime, it really is playtime with no distractions. Also, when it's not playtime (e.g. while I cook dinner) he really has to know it's not playtime. It has helped a bit setting these boundaries: now he knows that it doesn't matter how much he pesters me when I cook dinner, I just don't get involved. Would love to hear what other posters say!

bump

Normal for a three year old I think. My advice would be to introduce 'first...then'. Use the words lots before you start to introduce them to make him wait. So first let's have a drink...then we will go to the park. Later it becomes first mummy will do what she wants to do, then we will play. I think it's a real developmental stage to be able to understand not everything can happen NOW.
I also used to a lot of setting ds up to play and then sloping off. So we would play Happyland together but I would say I was just popping to the kitchen, be back in a minute and then sneak ten minutes peace and quiet. He's 7 and I still do that on the rare occasions he wants me to play lego (yawn).

Play with him!

My ds is like this. He's much much better if I sit with him and play for 15 mins - not half heatedly - before I go to work.

Say no.

You say 'no,I have to do x,y and z and then we can play.' And then you ignore any tantrums and do the 'broken record' in a bored, calm tone, of 'but I explained, after I have done x,y and z' ,and don't deviate from that.

I tend to actively play with my child maybe 15-30 mins in the morning and again before bed. That's it. I want her to learn to occupy and play be herself. Children don't need 'playing with' all the time. They can become so reliant on adult input they are unable to play by themselves. Other times in the day, if she asks me to play, I say no, 'mummy's busy,' or 'mummy's having a rest' or simply 'mummy doesn't want to'
She's loves it when I play with her, and because its not all day long, it's quite special. I'm also able to muster enough enthusiasm when I know I won't be on the floor playing happy land endlessly! I'd say no and mean it! Good luck

I would say, "help me do and then we'll do what you want.

They often love helping with jobs round the house, and you'll get the benefit when they're older and can usefully do the jobs on their own (with complaints!)

I'm in a similar situation as you. My DS1 is 2.5 and I also work from home with him going to nursery part time and part time at home with a nanny.

There are several things that seem to help:
-acknowledge that he doesn't like it when you leave or can't play with him right then
-explain to him that you'd like to play but that you have some work to do
-this might not apply to your situation but I ask DS to help me close the door to my office. So I say I'm going to do some work now, will you close the door for me? And having that control, rather than me walking off or shutting the door on him, really seems to help him
-letting him be involved with stuff I do whenever possible. He 'helps' me cook nearly every day. I ask him to get stuff out of the drawers/cupboard and he can pour things or look at things or touch & taste things.

Another thing you might do is set aside some time especially for playing with him, tell him you'll play with him and he can choose what you play, but for a limited time period because afterwards you're going to do xyz. Then set a timer and make sure during that time it's proper quality play & full on attention, and then once the timer goes you follow through and do your other thing.