Crazy 3's

[KittyKat2013]

hello
This is the first time I've posted. I'd just like some help and another opinion.
My son has just turned three and has always been very intellegent. He spoke very early and fluently froma very young age. We have some amazing time (uaually one to one) but he is very hard work, and need almost constant stimulation. He moans alot as though he might be bored, but I try my absolute best to take him regularly for play dates and outings, coupled with time just to ourselves. All of this I can take, I'd say he was an average 3 year old really, and loves attention.
However our awful issue is that he is incredibly mouthy, and tklks back and is very disrespectful of us and most adults. He simply does not have that natural fear of people who are bigger than him and regularly gets in to verbal fights with me, dad and my friends! He always needs to have the last word, and seems incredibly frustrated and ENRAGED when we don't do as he's telling us and simply doesn't undertand that as a child, he should sometimes listen and be quiet. It's incredibly rude and emabarrassing and last night he ended up completely flaking out at a friends house, and I ended up smacking him sigh which I always thought as a parent I would never do :( As people, me and his dad are really quite relaxed and to be honest, I just don't cope well with such constant animosity. I's like to think that this was simply another phase but to be honest, he's never been a relaxed baby or could. I love him so much, does anyone have any experience of this and any help to offer?
Thanks so much

I have known a few children who are like this.
They were all very quick and intelligent - and most of them had mainly adult company most of the time and were always included in adult conversations.
No 3 year old understands they have to listen and be quiet or respect that someone else is talking- You have to teach them.
When they interrupt you should say 'Wait a minute- Mummy/Daddy/whoever is talking, I will speak to you in a minute' - and then turn away. Ignore any further interruptions - However once your conversation is finished you should always remember to turn back to your DS and say 'Thank you for waiting - Now what did you want?'

3 year olds do not have a lot of patience and of course he will get frustrated and angry if he does not get what he wants immediately.
He will get better though if you do not react and give him attention when he is demanding it.

I agree with what you're saying- and thanks for replying. What I don't understand is that he is so frustrated and angry. I've spent the best part of two years ignoring his bad behaviours, and responding to the good. We also ask him not to interrupt but he genuinely doesn't seem to care or want to learn or please us. He just seems to want to shout or repeat back to me what I'm trying to say. He also comes out with insults, and any confiscations/ methods of discipline I have in place are completely accepted, eg you won't get a story- 'fine I don't WANT a story anyway so haha.'
He finds punishments laughable, so I feel like I have to approach this at a different angle- I just don't know how :(

My three yr old DD is demonstrating similar sorts of behaviour. I've always found my DCs harder at three than at two. It's a difficult age because 'consequences' or punishments mean nothing to them.
We've had such a ding dong tonight that I'm at my wits end.
Tomorrow I think my DH and I are going to start a zero-tolerance campaign, using the 1,2,3 thing (warnings, if they get to three they have consequences e.g. going to timeout or something - my DD won't stay on timeout step so I have to sit with her, but still communicates my intolerance of her foul behaviour). I'm sensing she needs some firmer boundaries in place.
Not sure if any of that is relevant for you DS - but at least you know you're not the only one struggling….

btw, the animosity between and from my 3DC is something that I have consistently found difficult the last 10 years - it changes the atmosphere in the house etc etc. BUT I have learned that my perspective to their bickering/rudeness etc also changes atmosphere, and have definitely developed a thicker skin (I let a lot of it go) and have learned not to let it impact my mood. (although often it does, ha ha !!).

My DS is just like this. He is extremely articulate at just turned three and very good at back chat. I read 1,2,3 magic and my husband and I set to it. It definitely helped as it means we both use the same discipline method but is sometimes infuriating as he enjoys being in his own bedroom. Time outs are more for us than him I think, so we cool down.

His teacher at pre school suggested we get down to his level, look him directly in the eye and explain why we are upset/cross and then say 'this face is cross' or 'this face is sad'. Or 'you've grabbed Fred's toy so he looks upset, now you've given it back he looks happy.'

He doesn't naturally recognise others emotions so we have to explain it to him. He is really intelligent in other ways so I think we presume he should understand people the way we do.

He is getting it, I guess they can't be good at everything!