Fear of Dogs - help !

[binker]

my six year old is really afraid of dogs - always has been since little (for no apparent reason - has never been bitten or anything like that) but he seems to be getting a lot worse which worries me. Today we were walking through the park on the way to Beavers when we saw a large alsatian just ahead - ds screamed and tried to run away (which would have been very dangerous had we been near a road - he is so panicked that he'd run into the road to get away). No amount of talking about it has helped so far. He went to tea at a friend's house the other week and was in a panic about their puppy- cute but lively- and he can be a bit alarmed about cats too. What should I do ? He is very keen on all animals from the safety of books or on television and will play happily with his toy dogs (taking them to vet etc) and his other creatures. Generally he is quite a cautious,careful little boy - avoids anything too lively and boistrous,though he does karate and his self confidence has bloomed through it.
Am frightened that this will become a big problem and worse that he might run into a car trying to get away...

Hi Binker, My DS is only 21 months but has exactly the same fear. Mainly dogs but after visiting a fum farm last week realised it extends to all animals.

I find it really strange as she knows all her animal sounds and if sees a dog, horse, sheep whatever will point make the noise and is very calm.

But put her near one and she freaks, climbs up my body crying, shaking her head and saying no.

Dont konow where the fear came from, she is also wary of our cats like your ds.

I will watch this post along with you if i may as will be interesting to see if common problem.

Sorry cant help

Hello - nearly same name and similar problem, spooky. Dd (3) did get bitten, not at all badly, a warning nip on the hand, by dog in park when she was small, have never quite forgiven the dog-doting friend who encouraged her to pat a strange one, grr. I don't have a real solution as she's still scared - but letting the child be around someone else's puppy, in a gradual sort of way - watching it in the garden from inside and so on - is what we try to do, and it means there is a sensible way of learning to discriminate between dogs, which is in fact a good lesson - I'm very glad dd won't go near big or strange ones.

It sounds though as if you maybe also have a separate issue on how your son can cope with being scared (of anything) - ie the level of panic. Dd is different in that she just wants to be picked up, so maybe someone else who knows about anxiety generally could help there?

binkie - (my nick nickname is after my son's imaginary dog - so he's quite keen to be one himself !) -I agree that it might be an anxiety issue,rather than just dogs - I wonder if anyone else has any ideas for who I could consult ? Would talking to our family doctor be useful,do you think ?

I hope you find this helpful..

Expert: Kristi Alexander, clinical psychologist

How can I help my preschooler get over her fear of dogs? Ages 3 to 4

Your job is to both acknowledge her anxiety and help her get more comfortable with these four-legged creatures. Say, "I know you're afraid of the dog," and leave it at that. It's natural for 3- and 4-year-olds to find many things scary, and dogs ? who can make loud noises, jump up, or lick your preschooler's face ? are near the top of the list of terrifying things for many children. Forcing her to pet a slobbering schnauzer may only make her more afraid and could turn her dread of dogs into a lifelong phobia. Resist the urge to push her to face her fear or try to convince her there isn't any reason to be afraid. Both tactics are likely to backfire. For instance, you'll probably only make her more upset if you say, "It's okay, the dog won't hurt you ? there's nothing to be afraid of." Instead, try, "I understand that the poodle frightens you. Let's walk past him together. Or if you don't want to do that, I'll hold you while he walks past us."

Over time, you can gradually introduce her to man's best friend. You'll want to teach her both to enjoy furry, fun-filled Fidos, and to keep a healthy distance from strange animals whose behavior and temperament may be unpredictable. Point out pooches on your walks together, and read stories about good-natured pet dogs and their happy owners. This is a great age to incorporate imaginative play to help increase her comfort level. Try using stuffed animals and other toy versions of dogs to act out dog situations that your child finds frightening. This kind of play can help her feel she has more control over the situation; she may even want to pretend to be a snarling, barking dog herself. As your preschooler becomes more comfortable, visit a pet store, where she can see some adorable, penned puppies at a safe distance, which will help her feel she has some control as well. As she gets more relaxed around dogs, introduce her to a friend or relative's pet, and show her how to talk to and pet the animal so he'll respond positively. And don't worry, your preschooler is likely to outgrow her apprehension. Before you know it you'll hear the words: "Mom, can I have a puppy?"

mothernature - many thanks, that was very interesting.

i have 2 dogs,so my kids are use to them but they are afraid of other dogs when out.i have taught them to walk past dogs and not to look at them.some dogs dont even bother with them.my son has been running and and dog has chased him.i just told him to stop then the dog stopped and sniff then went.ive also told them most dog owners wouldnt let them off the lead if they were dangerous.it does help if owners have control of there especially when there is kids about.my little dog is scared of little children,i think it is because they can move quick to

My 2 1/2 yo was attacked by my husband's collie when she was 2 (ended up with stitches under her arm). This was very scarey for my daughter (obviously) and myself. The dog was put down.

My problem is how to deal with things now. She is very afraid of dogs - understandably - but only when they are in close proximity to her. She loves dogs at a distance, and often asks to be near certain dogs. But, as soon as their heads are near her she freaks and screams, again, understandably. I am well aware of why she is scared, and very understanding. I also feel very fearful when a dog is near - as the attack on her terrified me also. I want her to feel alot more comfortable with dogs, but am unsure of how to go about this. At the moment I try to act calm and be reassuring when she is around dogs, but am quick to be on hand when stranger's dogs are around (ie. when walking). Normally, she is OK, although a bit apprehensive, as long as a dog doesn't approach her. She has even shown 'progress' by feeding a friend's spaniel by hand. I try not to push her, but was very pleased that she was coping so well.

2 days ago we were on a beach when 2 large, and very boisterous collies, ran up to her, chased her, then pushed her to the ground, and rolled on her. I will add, that there seemed to be no aggression in them - but she didn't know that. She was the most terrified I have ever seen her. I felt awful, as I could not run to her to protect her earlier. They had initially jumped on me in greeting - and I was about 50 metres away from my daughter, so could not get to her in time. It all happened so fast, and she remained hysterical for quite a time after (which is not like her). Needless to say, I gave the dog owner a piece of my mind - I was so angry that 2 out of control dogs were allowed to run free when a very young child was present, in a public place. It infuriated me more that he seemed to think it was OK because his dogs 'didn't bite'. This is not the first incident, and I am getting heartily fed up with it. Why should my daughter and I have to cope with that? Is it not the dog owner's responsibility????? I always try to act calm and play the incident down, but I'm afraid this time other feelings got the better of me and my 'wrath' was unleashed. I did try to explain things to my daughter afterwards. Has anyone got any advice on how to cope with any aspect of this problem? Also, is there anyone that feels very strongly about the way that some dog owners act?

Not sure this is any help, but I have the opposite problem. My children have been brought up with dogs (and assorted other animals) and seem to think that all animals are as trustworthy. The older two will now think to ask before petting a strange dog, but my youngest, no matter how many times I tell him he must always ask the owner if it's OK, just rushes up to dogs and starts stroking them. Unfortunately, some dog owners regard their dogs as their children and can't imagine how anyone can find their darlings a problem. We have a large dog and I am very wary when we are out as I appreciate how big he can seem to a small child. He's not the sort to jump all over a child anyway, but that doesn't stop me putting him back on the lead when there are young children around. It's just a question of common sense and courtesy.

Have you thought about starting small, eg. with a guinea pig? Non-threatening, very sweet and very sociable. Once he realises gps are OK, he may be less anxious about slightly bigger animals.

Freckle - have thought about a guinea pig - interestingly, since I last posted ds has been 'self treating' his fears by immersing himself in all things doggy - he has several books on different dog breeds,including an I-Spy one where he can tick off the dogs he sees,plus he's been playing with lots of toy dogs and drawing them. I noticed that when we've passed dogs in the street he's been a lot calmer,though he does stand close to me.

That's good. He may just grow out of his fear. My elder sister was always terrified of dogs as a child, so I was incredibly surprised when she got a dog herself (retriever - so not a small one either). She seems fine with them now, although somewhat more cautious than I am with dogs we don't know.

Totally agree with freckle. It has taken alot of work to make my kids think before they are friendly with dogs. My dog thinks all children are his friends and can upset children even when they come to our house. I have agree that dog owners shoudl be responsible and control their dogs to stop them being a pest. My dd has a firend who is scared of dogs as she was biten and chased but after prolonged exposure to our pathetic lying on his back to be tickled springer has come to realise that not all dogs are the same. I would have shouted at the owner of a dog who had tumbled my child around and jumped on them by the way it is totally unacceptable.