Wetting the bed on purpose

[browniebear]

I know he is.
Ds is 3.5 and soon after being potty trained he was beginning to be dry at night too so away went the nappies.. Brilliant.

Then about 2-3 months ago he started to wet the bed, sometimes twice a night, I used to wet the bed as a child so was sympathetic and reassuring about it until now.
He comes into my room when he's wet and either my dp or I will get up, change the bed, give him clean pjs and and a cuddle tell him to go back to bed. Occasionally I've bees less than lovely about it and sometimes just said 'oh ds not again?' Or something similar but never need cross as such.

So Monday morning he came in at 6:45 and I asked if he was wet? He said no and I told him to go back to bed, 2 mins later he came back saying 'I've weed'. Dp said 'he's done that on purpose and still I though no, no child would willing wet the bed on purpose.
Then this morning he's done exactly the same thing! Dp isn't here so I told ds to go back to bed when he came in at 6am, asked if he was wet and he wasn't. 2 mins later he's back telling me he's weed the bed

Why on earth would he do that? I lost my temper and now he knows he's been naughty

Anyone got any theories or ideas what we can do? I'd appreciate any advice

Maybe around the time he started Playgroup but he seems settled and has been going to cm for nearly a year before that and still goes to her too.
I did tell him to go first and he said he didn't need to but clearly he did.

Maybe started about the time he started Playgroup. But he seems settled and had been attending toddler group in the same setting since being a baby so I don't think it's that.
He goes to the toilet ok during the day although he went for a poo yesterday when dp was looking after him and when he went in to see how he was getting on ds had poo all over the seat and the walls! I've no idea why he would do that or even if it's connected? I'm just running out of idea with him. I've been putting his mischievous behaviour down to just being his age but I'm not so sure now

Just sounds like he is ready to go to the toilet rather than bed wetting to me. Sounds like he woke up and got out of bed before he weed (a good thing) and needed to use the toilet but didnt really know that he needed to go, or didn't want to go by himself. Can he go to the toilet by himeself in the night - is the house dark? If he gets out of bed again and has not wet the bed, would suggest you simply take him to the toilet before putting him back to bed. Sounds like he just needs you to either go with him or at least to suggest to him that he visit the toilet rather than him just going straight back to bed.

Potty by the bed?

The way you have written it sounds like he's responding to your reaction. If he comes in and is dry you send him back so = no attention. If he wets the bed you get up and give him attention (even if negative) and cuddle him etc. So for him perhaps being wet gets a pay off?

I'd try giving attention / praise when dry e.g. let him get into your bed or get up with him. Reward the positive. Give less attention when wet - just change bed and no comment / cuddles etc, pop him back in. Very matter of fact.

Test out whether its your reaction which is reinforcing the behaviour.

If that works then you can tackle waking early etc as a different issue later on.

Thank you for replies. Since I was last online, when he's woken up v early (4:30)am this morning, I've made him go for a wee even when he said he didn't need to go and then he's gone back to bed! Result! Only had 1 wet night when he was wet in the morning when I went in to wake him up. Also we made a new sticker chart so I think that might of helped too. Fingers crossed we can keep it up.