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Toddler seems fixated on holding many objects at the same time?

17 replies

looki · 20/11/2013 00:56

I am worried. Please excuse the long post. I need to write some background info in order for this to make sense.

About six months ago my little girl (21 months) became interested in her ELC dolls house which came with Little People. As she seemed to like the Little People, we bought a few more packs of them so she has quite a few now (approx 15/16). She played with the house a lot and gradually lost interest in it over the past few months.

But here is the cause of my concern. Recently she has gone back to playing with the figures (people only) and keeps trying to hold them all at the same time. She holds them close to her chest but its impossible to hold so many of them so she inevitably drops one, bends down to pick it up and drops another and this continues over and over. Eventually she'll get frustrated and burst into tears. I've tried giving her a bag to put them into so she can carry them around, I've offered to 'mind' some of them, I've tried to put them all on a chair so they are all together but this annoys her and she says 'no no' and goes back to trying to hold all of them at once.

I noticed it at the weekend and for some reason got alarmed as it doesn't seem like 'normal' behaviour for her. She is a placid little girl, she is easy going, adores dolls and her tea set and role play. I had never before seen her getting so frustrated that she resorted to tears. I asked her childminder on Monday morning and she said that it only started late last week when they were playing a game using the figures. She thought perhaps that she needed some new toys to help distract her so last night her Dad and I went to the toyshop and bought an indoor tent and a few other toys. I noticed when I got home today, that she had put all her teddies and dolls into the play tent and was also trying to hold a number of her teddies to her chest, again all at the same time and dropping one, bending down to pick it up and dropping another one. It wasn't as bad as with the little people figures and she wasn't getting frustrated but I'm still uncomfortable watching it.

I've googled possible reasons as nothing has changed. She gets on well with her childminder. I'm often here during the day so I get to see whats happening, she babbles, she's feeding herself, she 'helps' hang out clothes and 'helps' brush the floor, she is social, she maintains eye contact, she dances and sings and understands most of what is said to her. She is an only child and probably doesn't mix as much with other children as I'd like but I'm guessing this must be the same for all other first and only children of her age if they aren't in a creche.

When I googled, it kept throwing up the word autism and i'm worried sick. Its says its very hard to spot before eighteen months of age. Is this why I'm noticing it now? I've tried discussing it with my DH and he thinks I'm making a fuss over nothing and she simply likes her teddies and Little People figures and I'm worrying over nothing.

I've read that toddlers can get attached to certain objects but the only other time I've seen her getting so frustrated with her toys is when she tries to make her baby doll sit in a Disney car in a certain position (the way she likes to sit in it herself). When the doll falls over repeatedly, she will eventually get annoyed and cry but I'm generally able to distract her and she'll play with something else, kick a ball around etc. Its impossible to distract her from the Little People. It generally happens in the evening when she's getting tired but please tell me what you think? She's my first child and I don't want to rush her off to be 'labelled' if whats she is doing is standard toddler behavour but I'm also worried. Its been going on about five days now.......

Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MrsCakesPremonition · 20/11/2013 01:06

Toddlers get fixated with all sorts of peculiar looking patterns of play (google schemas if you want to read more). To an adult it can look bizarre and illogical, but usually the child finds meaning in the repetitive play which is why they keep coming back to it again and again until they are ready to move on to something new.

After only 5 days, I really wouldn't be worrying.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/11/2013 01:10

My DD (almost 3 yo) does this. She is just possessive. Are there other children at the CM's? Because I found this behaviour developed because DD worked out that if her hand wasn't on an object, another child might get it. If she was carrying it, it was her toy.

6 bloody ponies yesterday. Sheesh.

looki · 20/11/2013 01:22

Thanks so much for your replies. I appreciate them.

The childminder comes to our house so everything is hers. Even though it has only been happening five days, it makes me very uneasy in a way that's difficult to explain.

If it is just a phase, I will sigh with relief but I guess I'm concerned my maternal instincts are telling me that something isn't quite right BUT she is my first child and I really don't know what is usual or not.

OP posts:
MrsCakesPremonition · 20/11/2013 01:29

Read this - it sounds like your DD currently has a Transporting schema. It is very, very usual and schemas are not connected with autism.

looki · 20/11/2013 01:49

Mrscakes thank you for that link. It is interesting and I recognise certain behaviours from it including positioning and enveloping.

Does it matter if she is only picking up the objects to hold them though? While I have seen her stash some of them in drawers etc in the past, this is different as she sits on the floor and picks them up, drops them, leans over to pick up the fallen object, drops another one etc but she doesn't try to stand up and take them anywhere.

Her main objective seems to be to hold all of them in her two hands as close to her as possible?

OP posts:
MrsCakesPremonition · 20/11/2013 01:55

As she has only been doing it a few days, I wouldn't worry. She may well move on to something new once she has worked out the optimum number of teddies (large) vs. the optimum number of play people (small). She has already discovered that she can hold more of them by squishing them against her body.

My DS's main schema was lining stuff up - cars, bowls of food, crayons, everywhere I looked there were neat little rows of things. I found it slightly creepy at the time, but he got so absorbed in it that I left him to it. He doesn't do it any more and now I sort of miss it.

From the rest of your OP - your DD sounds like a little star Grin.

MiniMonty · 20/11/2013 02:17

Don't sweat it...
Kids are deeply weird and you only find this out when you become a parent. You're about to see (and probably worry about) a whole host of very strange stuff (never worry unless there's bloodshed).
Some are scared of the dark, some only feel safe in total black out.
They do, say and think the strangest things as they work out the world (and they all do it differently).

Don't go getting carried away thinking about autism or anything else - go to the wacky warehouse and watch some kids - they are all very odd and they all do weird stuff - it's what it is to be a kid...

Difficult to remember that kind of freedom isn't it ?

Do nothing. All is well.

poocatcherchampion · 20/11/2013 18:59

my dd loves gathering and holding things, it is so sweet and makes me laugh. she will probably move on to something else soon.

AryaofhouseSnark · 20/11/2013 19:03

Oh yes, one of the dts did this. Toddlers are very peculiar.

Jaffakake · 20/11/2013 20:19

My ds is 27 months and he's done the same with his little people, plastic spiders, cars, magnets all sorts! I also gave him a bag, which luckily he happily uses for his spiders - probably as he can hang it off the handlebars of his trike. He does get frustrated when they fall, but it does not bring him to tears, probably as he's a very placid kid, but also one that you can distract well.

He likes little figures, a sailor, postman pat & a duplo man & finds it frustrating that he can't fit them in their vehicles, but he asks us to do it instead. But that's probably the difference 6 months age inference makes.

My ds weird bit is his obsession with tidiness. That works cos he's happy to do the tidying up! He also likes lining things up too.

Try not to worry about it. I agree with pp, kids are a bit weird!

MiaowTheCat · 20/11/2013 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DifferenceEngine · 20/11/2013 22:33

Yes

Mine does it too

Cute, but drives me batty if you are trying to go somewhere

sittinginthesun · 20/11/2013 22:39

My eldest went through something similar. It was also with Happyland and Little People, but only the people who sat in cars. He'd try to carry at least three people and cars at once.

A particularly memorable tantrum was when he fell asleep in a pushchair on holiday, holding his police car, fire engine, and vet, and woke up next morning in his cot without them.

MomMac19 · 05/02/2021 08:32

Can you update us on this? My child is now doing something very similar.

Vittoria123 · 07/07/2024 11:12

looki · 20/11/2013 01:22

Thanks so much for your replies. I appreciate them.

The childminder comes to our house so everything is hers. Even though it has only been happening five days, it makes me very uneasy in a way that's difficult to explain.

If it is just a phase, I will sigh with relief but I guess I'm concerned my maternal instincts are telling me that something isn't quite right BUT she is my first child and I really don't know what is usual or not.

Ho how’s your little girl doing please ? ❤️

looki · 07/07/2024 12:16

Vittoria123 · 07/07/2024 11:12

Ho how’s your little girl doing please ? ❤️

I had to reread the original post.

My daughter is now 12.5 years old. She is extremely bright, sociable, sporty, plays music and her teachers first reported that she exceeded her peers academically when she was approx eight when her reading age was twelve. Don’t necessarily worry if your child is doing the same as she was!

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 07/07/2024 15:16

So funny to see this post pop up from the far past. I'm glad yours is doing well @looki

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