Bad tempered 5 month old - have i caused this and how to deal with it?

[emjay78]

My dd is now 5 mo and i am shocked by how bad-tempered she can be - other people (esp. MIL :() have started to notice and comment on it - makes me feel like a total failure as a mum and that i have done something to create this problem? She can be very smiley and happy but if she gets bored or doesn't like something/someone she screams like a banshee, screws up her face and just seems to go off on one. I know all babies cry but she seems to take it to a whole new level! I am a ftm and was diagnosed with PND at 7 weeks, has my depression caused this somehow do you think? we have bonded but for a while I was very depressed and struggled with her. I know you'll probably wonder why i'm bothered by such a trivial thing at this age, but i find it so embarrassing, especially in front of friends with their quiet babies, and i wondered if anyone had any tips on how to deal with it? it's got to the point where i don't want to go to baby groups or take her very far from the house in case she has a meltdown! All i can do is try to play with her to distract her,but then i am worried i am encouraging her to act badly to get attention? Sorry for the long post - and thanks in advance for any ideas you can give me!

Yes sling.

Also don't believe people when they tell you how perfect things are. There is sometimes the pressure to give the impression everything is great and not to admit yo problems. Yes all babies are different and I know this looking at my own 4 kids.

I had PND for 10 months after DS2. I think my emotions (despite being calm) rubbed off on him a little and then I spent a lot of time feeling guilty despite being recovered. However for a start as a character he totally takes after one of my relatives - in looks but also mentally whizzy, creative, independent, hugely empathic, fun, random, emotionally tuned. I think he was quite frustrated when little but I partly wonder now if it relates to him being much much brighter then my other children who were easier? They seemed to have other calmer genes.

He's a very happy child and I'd say his happiness has increased over the years. Children are generally happier when their parents are happier though. It's really natural for us all to have naff days though and for things to go pear shaped - nobody has it easy all the time. The PND will pass and life will get easier. Just try to be kind to yourself and take steps to look after your own needs.

I had 2 cross, cranky babies and one placid, settled one. I treated them all the same, it wasn't anything I did it was just their personality. They are all older now and are delightful, it really was just a phase. Please don't think its your fault, some babies are just more demanding than others but it will all pass I promise!

I also have a high energy, spirited, easily overtired (but hates to sleep ) baby. She was a right grump at 5 months old. (Hated the sling, wouldn't co sleep, generally wanted to be carried around looking at stuff the whole time).

I think with hindsight her grumpiness was becoming aware of things she wanted to do but not being able to actually do it. plus teething.

Then at 6 months she learned to sit up and hold things, got her two front teeth through and became SO much happier.

She is still (age 1) very very active and vocal and demanding and shouty and LOUD compared with lots of the babies I know. She can now point and babble to communicate what she wants (it's very clear!) and will have a massive and embarrassing strop if she doesn't get her way. But she's mostly very happy and great fun. I sometimes envy other parents their placid babies (and definitely their sleep) but then equally I sometimes think their babies are boring .

Distract as much as you can - it's still the best cure for DD's strops. don't worry at all about bad habits. And please, please, don't blame yourself - it's just your baby's personality and she'll probably turn out to be great. she just doesn't like being 5 months old!