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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What is your 6+ child allowed to 'help themself' to in the kitchen (food/drink-wise).

21 replies

Legacy · 11/07/2006 21:38

I have suddenly realised that I am still being mostly slave and servant to DS who is now 6.5.

Apart from drinks of water which he ges himself, I still 'control' the kitchen and personally prepare whatever it is he wants.

This seems a bit silly, as he is more than capable of getting some things himself.
For example he is allowed to get his own cereal for himself and little brother at weekends.

Just wondered what other folks with kids the same age did to encourage independence without sacrificing diet?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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PandaG · 11/07/2006 21:45

DS is 6. Is allowed to get drinks - fruit juice or water, and can get own breakfast at weekends - cereal and yoghurt only. Happy for him to raid the fruit bowl with permission. Nothing else as yet. DD 4, allowed to do the same, although not yet reliable with milk and juice carton - table often gets more than her cup or bowl

SecurMummy · 11/07/2006 21:47

My children are allowed to take anything from the salad drawer of the fridge. I keep all the fruit in there plus any other healthy snacks I can think of each week (cucumber, celery etc). They are allowed as much water as they like and fruit juice in the afternoons - which they can get themselves.

TBH, I like the snack box idea - you control what goes in so they are not getting rubbish - if you don't buy it!

pedilia · 11/07/2006 21:48

DS1 who is 5 is allowed drinks,breakfast, fruit etc. but he has to ask 1st.

Also loves doing bottles for DS2 which is useful

emsiewill · 11/07/2006 21:52

My children (dds 9 & 7) don't help themselves to anything without asking first. The only exception is breakfast, as usually I go out early, and dh is not a morning person (understatement).

I've never really told them they're not allowed to help themselves, they've just always asked. Having said that, there's not usually anything 'snacky' in the house that they are desperate to eat - no biscuits, no cakes, no crips, so all they have to choose from is fruit and yoghurt / fromage frais.

I think I can safely say that they would never help themselves to (eg) a bowl of ice cream - it just wouldn't enter their heads.

MumRum · 11/07/2006 21:56

My children 8 and 9 always ask before they have something to eat.... I'm working on them clearing up after theirselves now..

SecurMummy · 11/07/2006 21:58

mine know exactly where the ice cream is and no they would never help themselves to it either!

Also, mine usually ask, even though they have been told they don't have to - I guess they are just naturally good mannered

Original poster

Legacy · 11/07/2006 21:59

Yes - I didn't really mean 'help themselves' without asking - I guess I was thinking about the things they could ask for, and then actually go and get themselves!

Actually DS can ask and get fruit and ie lollies himself too.

AT what age would they start doing their own toast, for example, do you think?

OP posts:

Blondilocks · 11/07/2006 22:04

My 7 year old gets her own breakfast and drinks. Other than that she sometimes gets part of her own lunch, all of it depending on what fruit/veg she wants (if it's apple or cucumber I'll cut it for her, if it's banana she can cut it with a normal dinner knife). She's allowed to butter bread & make sandwiches etc.

Other than that we get the rest. She doesn't normally have snacks, but on the odd occasion she's allowed a biscuit or something like that she'll ask & then be allowed to help herself. Also after tea if allowed she can go & get an ice cream or yoghurt (but again she is expected to ask first).

SSSandy · 11/07/2006 22:07

I don't not permit dd to help herself to food/drinks. It just doesn't occur to her and I'm still doing the maid number, administering to everyone's needs. I offer food and drink so often that it would be very unlikely that she'd feel the urge to eat inbetween.

JoolsToo · 11/07/2006 22:13

mine are all grown now but they helped themselves to nothing - always had to ask.

glassofwine · 11/07/2006 22:31

DD1 almost 7 would only help herself or siblings to juice/water and would ask for bread and butter, which she would prepare for herself (with great joy). If I let her have a biscuit I might let her get it herself.

The fruit bowl is available to all without having to ask.

helsy · 11/07/2006 22:33

Fruit or carton drinks only, or I end up clearing up the mess/opening yoghurt/finding a clean spoon anyway.

poisson · 11/07/2006 22:33

water
fruit

helsy · 11/07/2006 22:33

(Dd is 6.5, by the way)

SecurMummy · 11/07/2006 23:16

At 8 dd's made toast themsleves sometimes but with close supervision at first.

dd1 at 10 can make cups of tea, they can both make sandwiches themselves - although I always cut any cheese.

TBH at 6 I think that fruit etc - ie the snack box type route is appropriate and I would start teachinghim to do other stuff - but it would be a while before I actually let him!

TwinsetandPearls · 11/07/2006 23:39

DD 4 loves to get her own food.

She helps herself to the fruit bowl and also does her own cereal, I put milk in a little plastic jug in the fridge so she can help herself.

She also does her own juice/water again from the fridge and I tend to keep containers of carrot sticks and tomatoes that she can grab. Also a supply of yogurts.

This afternoon she even made her own ham sandwich!

Like MumRum I am trying to encourage less mess though!

She does ask (although in reality the asking is her shouting Mum I am just having...) and she also knows that if she eats all her yogurts or whatever there will be no more until I go to the shops again.

apronstrings · 12/07/2006 01:24

water!! theyt can make there own snacks after consulting with me. we have a hook up high on the pantry door as ds2 (now 4) and somewhat rotund was helping himself to food

Toby72 · 12/07/2006 01:37

my eldest dd is coming up to 8 and she now is able to get drinks for herself and her sister/brother and also fix some food for herself. we did not encourage this..but she has asked to do it and seems to be very capable of doing it.............although now we have the problem of her going in and helping herself.......and taking advantage of the situation..............

emsiewill · 12/07/2006 15:26

dd1 (9) has made cups of coffee a couple of times, and also has made toast, although both still under supervision. She cuts her own fruit up, although is a bit nervous of 'sharp' knives after seeing me cut myself on one once.

Dh lets them both make cakes completely on their own - the only thing he does is turn on the oven, put the baking tray in and take it out. All the rest (reading the recipe, weighing things out, following the recipe etc) they do themselves. I am just not able to not interfere (iyswim), he is happy not to have to get involved. I think it's good for them to do things completely alone, but also that they know the limits, and won't attempt to deal with the oven etc.

MaloryTowers · 12/07/2006 15:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stoppinattwo · 12/07/2006 16:27

DS - 7 can make himself a jam sandwich, but no sandwich that he has to cut ie cheese.

Drinks, fruit yoghurts.

DD - 4 gets anything that DS gets as she just tells him what she wants and he goes and gets it............ well you dont have a dog and bark yourself do you

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