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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DD2 (4 months) is scaired of my dad, my dads not very understanding.

11 replies

Marne · 11/07/2006 11:05

DD2 is a very happy baby, smiles all day, laughs at evrything but soon as my dad looks at her she cry's, my dads not the most understanding person, i think he feels a bit upset by dd2's behavior and he keeps saying dd2 is just a grumpy baby.

I dont dred my dad comming over as i know he will try and talk to dd2, make her unhappy and i will end up having to calm her down for the next 2 hours.

I know it sounds nasty but i would rather he did'nt go near her as i dont like seing her upset. I know she will have to get used to him as he comes over twice a week, it just upsets me to see dd upset.

What can i do?
What should i say to my dad?

OP posts:

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Piffle · 11/07/2006 11:07

Does your dad smoke?

my dd screamed everytime my mum picked her up or went near her as a baby
as a toddler they are firm friends
I think it was due to the fact that my mum smokes dd has hypersenses.

Beauregard · 11/07/2006 11:11

My dd2 does this to dp's parents because we dont see them often so i know where you are coming from .
I ould tell your dad to tred very carefully around your dd and if neccersary ignore her.
It is probably just one of those things which your dad should understand ,after all your dd is only 4 months !im sure she will grow out of it.

Beauregard · 11/07/2006 11:12

oh interesting that you say that piffle cos dp's dad smokes!

Original poster

Marne · 11/07/2006 11:18

He does smoke but so does dh, i hope she grows out of it, DD1 thinks grandad is the best person ever, i have told him to try and talk to her without his glasses on etc but he just laughs and says 'its not him, shes a grumpy baby'.

OP posts:

schneebly · 11/07/2006 11:22

A cousin of mine used to be terrified of my dad and he is usually a kid-magnet (same mentality)! We figured out it was his moustache! I think DD will get used to her grandad but it would help if he made a bit more effort!

Iklboo · 11/07/2006 11:26

My 8 month DS isn't that keen on my mum. He whinges whenever she comes round. But that's because she will not leave him alone - especially when he's being quiet. She prods him and jiggkes him up & down, talks really loudly to him, grabs his hand to play pat-a-cake...last week I was going out with them for the day, DS was in the car seat in the back. I locked up and went to the car to see mum in the back with him (she ALWAYS sits in the front) and she mithered him all through the journey. DS likes to be quiet in cars, looking round, taking everything in, nodding off.
Upshot was he was really upset & cranky all day. And she would NOT be told to leave him be. She was even poking him while he was nodding off "oi, come on, wake up, nana's here"!!!
I wouldn't mind if she never saw him but she sees him about twice a week.

Callisto · 11/07/2006 12:06

My dd has a thing about glasses ever since some idiot made her scream with terror when she was tiny by unexpectedly and loudly shoving her face right up to dd's. Tell your dad to take his glasses off and give your dd time to get used to him being there before he approaches. And tell him to bog off when he says your daughter's grumpy. God, relatives are so irritating sometimes.

Callisto · 11/07/2006 12:07

Gawd Ikboo, you must have the patience of a saint. If someone was like that with my dd they would be banned from seeing her until they could behave themselves.

Piffle · 11/07/2006 12:52

my mum also wore glasses and on a good day resembled the mad woman climbing out of an Irish bog...
Infact now I recall I scream when I see her too

waterfalls · 11/07/2006 12:54

Does your dad have a deep voice, my dts are wary of my stepdad because he has a very deep voice.

blueshoes · 11/07/2006 12:56

Marne, I don't think there is any point in trying to get your 4 month old to like her granddad at this stage, beyond simple things like removing glasses. She is just a baby and entitled to her opinions, however uninformed. It is for your dad to keep his distance until she is older and more used to him.

Tbh, I expect your dad to take a more mature attitude and give allowance to your dd. If he wants to believe your dd is a "grumpy baby", then leave him to it. I just won't bother with trying to force the issue at the moment.

BTW, my 2.9 dd who was previously fine with her granddad, now won't be in the same room with him. Was quite embarassing when he came to stay with us for 5 days. Even when older, they still go through stages where something spooks them and you can't talk them out of it.

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