NEED YOUR HELP: How much help should a 3yr-old need with getting dressed?

[coppertop]

I'm filling in a DLA (Disability Living Allowance) form for ds1, who is 3yrs 8mths old and autistic. A lot of the sections involve comparing his needs to those of a 'typical' child of his age. However, as ds1 is our eldest child I have absolutely no idea what he SHOULD be doing and so need your help!

How much help does/did your child need with getting dressed and undressed?

Ds1's only 'contribution' is to lift an arm to put in/take out of his sleeves. He doesn't step into/out of trousers, pull his socks on/up or even put his own shoes on. The problem is that the palms of his hands are so sensitive that he can only use a pincer-grip - which obviously isn't strong enough.

I won't be upset or anything if you all tell me that your dd/ds gets dressed all by themselves. Even ds2 (12mths) is better than his brother at helping with dressing. I just need comparisons to include in the form.

Thanks in advance.

coppertop - my ds is 3 and almost 2 months and here is what I get from him in terms of help getting dressed and undressed. He can take off all his clothes if they are loose or elasticated. If his tops are tight, he will get in a pickle. He cannot undo buttons or zips or shoelaces, but he can take off his shoes if they are loosened for him. If I put his head through his t-shirt or sweater for him, he can usually get his arms through the sleeves, he can pull up his pant and trousers after being helped to step into them (if they are buttoned trousers I have to do them up for him), and if a jacket is held for him, he can get into it okay, but not do it up. Does this help? Of course, it's not likely that my ds will always cooperate with dressing, but these are the things that he can do.

At this age my ds2 was getting dressed/undressed completely by himself .. but with some encouragement. He needed help with buttons, and had just learned to do a zip.

Hope you get lots of feedback here to establish an average ... my gut feeling is that most nt children of this age are 'capable' of doing most of it by themselves, but not necessarily willing and cooperative. So they often get lots of help because they're in a hurry.

They start nursery class attached to school here at age 3, and within the first month all children have learned to put on and fasten their coats unaided if they couldn't do already.

DS aged 4, can take clothes off, including shoes and socks, needs help with socks on and can put some shoes on. can put trousers on if elasticated, needs help with buttons and zips etc.

MY ds (nearly 4) has only just got to grips with dressing - he mastered undressing almost a year ago. He needs help with buttons but can do the rest (although he always puts his coat on upside down as he can't work out which arm goes in which hole.

My ds is 3yrs 4 months. I normally dress him but he can manage pants and trousers when he goes to the loo. And he can put jumpers on and off by himself. He can do shoes too. But it's all much quicker and easier if I help.

He wouldn't be able to manage socks on his own, I'm sure.

My dd aged 2yr 11m is able to get herself dressed, if she wants to. She can do knickers, vests, t-shirts, skirts, trousers etc. Provided it is elasticated waists and no buttons. Socks and tights cause difficulty. However everything is an issue if she doesn't want to!!

DS2 (very nearly 3) can not dress himself without help and claims he can not undress himself. He clearly can undress himself since I frequently find him wearing only pants. I think he struggles with any sort of fastening but can manage to undo zips and velcro.

To help, he will put his arms in sleeves, lift legs to put them into trousers and offer feet for socks and shoes. he can pull up/down trousers and pants for the toilet but not always quickly enough.

HTH

At that age ds could do bottom half himself assuming no buttons or zips. Velcro shoes just about but not socks unless they were on the big side. Top half would possibly manage head on a tshirt/vest but struggled with arms and could not do buttons or fasten a zip. He was taught to put his coat and shoes on at nursery. Coat done by spreading it flat out on the floor and rolling to put in first one arm and then over to do the other!

hth

My son is 2.5 and clumsy and uncoordinated. He can put his hands through sleeves and put his shoes on (wrong feet!) steps into trousers with my help and has been known to remove his nappy He tries to pull off his t-shirt but can't manage it yet. As I say, he is noticeably less physically skilled than most of his peers in this regard so I do think you have a reasonable claim. Good luck.

Ds2 with cp, can't do much at all. Definitely no getting into trousers, although can while sitting in a carefully placed position, and by lifting his feet up to him, attempt to pull off socks and shoes. If we hold him to stand he will also try and pull his trousers down, but his grip isn't strong enough to do it "properly". Top half, he will push his arms through sleeves, but that's about it. He's very delayed i would say. He's 3 (last friday).

DS is just 3. He can take off trousers and pants and socks. He cna take off jumpers/tops/vests etc providing they are not too tight (he has a big head and sometimes even I struggle ). He can put on pants but will need me to make sure he gets them the right way round. He can manage trousers/pants at the toilet although sometimes struggles to get trousers back up (think this is in his head though). So can basically self-tiolet including washing hands - just needs his bottom wiping. Thats at home with step and seat though. Getting dressed doesn't do much except pants really but in the right mood co-operates with arms/letgs etc.

Thankyou so much everyone!

The general opinion seems to be that he would normally be able to:

• undress himself
• step into trousers and pull them up (or at least try to help)
• put on elasticated clothes, but would need a bit of help with buttons and zips,
• not necessarily put on own socks but probably manage shoes.

THANKYOU!