3.9 yo not talking at nursery

[gracegrape]

I wonder if anyone has been through a similar situation. My 3.9 year old DD has been in nursery (part-time) since she was 6 months old and is currently in the pre-school. My concern is that she does not talk to any of the adults there and has not done so for over a year now, although she is very loud and chatty at home. She will occasionally talk to her key carer, but she really has to work to get her to say anything. There have been problems a couple of times where DD has been upset and crying but refuses to speak and say what is bothering her.

Looking back, this situation arose when I was heavily pregnant with DD2. Around that time, I reduced DD1s nursery hours and the staff in her room changed. She had a very good relationship with her previous key worker, but when the new staff members took over she didn't seem to take to them and wouldn't talk to them. She's since moved into the pre-school and seems to like the staff there, but is still refusing to talk. She is very sociable with the other children and happy to talk to them but not to any of the adults. I've also noticed that she never talks to any other familiar adults, such as my friends or parents of children that come over to play.

I'm particularly concerned as she's due to start school next year. I'm a teacher myself and have come across a few children who are selectively mute and I worry about DD becoming like that. Does anyone know where I could go to access support? Should I go through the nursery, or try the health visitor or GP?

Thanks for any advice!

I have a smart cookie who played that one but I soon realized she was in control and gaining extra attention. Your DD was probably shy with
the new staff and soon realized it was one area she can have control over when other things in her life, i.e imminent DD2, she couldn't .Thereon in the benefits of not talking to adults was in her favor....it created attention on her ,not the new baby.
My DD now older smiles to herself when I refer back to it and many more of her tactics over time
From what I've learnt leave your DD to it, any adult she doesn't talk to should still speak to her and just carry with something else if she doesn't reply,she will soon forget herself and speak, after all she knows she has to speak to other children for them to speak to her as they won't hang around if she doesn't.
Good luck, sounds like your going to have some fun over the years with your cleaver little DD.

Yes my DD (now 8) did this at nursery too when she was that age. She was an excellent talker everywhere but in nursery, where she attended for two terms and never spoke a word to anyone. I moved her because I wanted her to attend the preschool of the school she was going to attend. She began this one not talking too. One of the Teachers saw her outside chatting away to me. Within weeks of starting the new preschool she was talking to children and teachers and although she is generally a quite girl in school she has no problem speaking out now.

Yes my DD (now 8) did this at nursery too when she was that age. She was an excellent talker everywhere but in nursery, where she attended for two terms and never spoke a word to anyone. I moved her because I wanted her to attend the preschool of the school she was going to attend. She began this one not talking too. One of the Teachers saw her outside chatting away to me. Within weeks of starting the new preschool she was talking to children and teachers and although she is generally a quite girl in school she has no problem speaking out now.

Oops! sorry for double post

Thank you! That fills me with hope. DD1 definitely does like to be in control - I hadn't thought of it like that. She's going to be moving to a new pre-school in the new year which is closer to where we live, so i'll see how she gets on there.