Almost 3yr old DS with hysterical fear of hand driers in public toilets! Advice please!

[Naturally2806]

DS will be 3 in a few weeks and after a rocky start is finally potty trained. He does still prefer potty to toilet (my mum bless her in a fit of enthusiasm accidentally dropped in in the toilet bowl ) so I can forgive him that.
The problem is when we are out (always carry potty) he is so terrified of hand driers in public toilets he will not sit on potty or toilet. He is so frightened he literally shuts down which is the only way I can describe it.
I've tried letting him have a go with one etc. I honestly can't work out where this fear came from. It's making a trip out almost impossible.
Any experiences/advice much appreciated

It's the noise, it's terrifying. DD also has this fear. If you take your own, just use the potty wherever you are and don't bother going to a toilet. Nobody will mind.

Both my DSs have this (now age 4 and 5). It's easier, if a tad revolting, for them to find a quiet spot for a pee. When they were younger I took a potty out with us everywhere. We resort to bribery but they really are terrified and some are so loud (I'm looking at you, Dyson) I can't really blame them.

My son was terrified of hand dryers in the loo's too. Would literally not walk past one if it was on. He was three also. Then one day we started playing around with my hairdryer at home and he liked it so then the next day he washed his hands and we dried them with the hairdryer and we kept doing this for a couple of weeks all the time talking about the hand dryers in the toilets and then one day he just quickly put his hand under the drier in the toilet then pulled it away and then it progressed from there. Now age 4 he will even use one of those Dyson thingies. Maybe worth a go?

My ds used to be like that, he's fine now.

I think the worst was the time he backed away from a lady using one and walked underneath another, which obviously set it off

He was like it with hairdryers too, and I had a lovely hairdresser that would let us go in and look at their books for 5/10 mins every time we were in town and he slowly got used to all the noises.

DS1 was like this. He was so scared of the extractor fan in the toilet that he wet himself every single day at Nursery and when we went to CenterParcs no-one was allowed to turn the light on in the bathroom for the whole week! (fan came on automatically)

I don't have any answers but he had grown out of it by the time he started FT school at 4.5

DD was like this for a good while.
We used hand sanitiser gel when out and about and she eventually got used to it.

same problem here with DS - I had to reassure him that we wouldn;t turn the dryers on. He's 8 now and not still terrifeid so it does wear off, I just can;t remember when. I never found a way around it rather than promising not to strat the dryers but sometimes thats just not practical.

Yes, bloody hand driers. Cause all sorts of problems with nervous kids.
You just end up having to get to know the toilets that have the quieter driers and using those in preference, and obviously that's not always possible!
This too will pass....

Weirdly, ds2 loves them

Ds was the same, however since starting school he's been ok about the old style ones, still petrified of the new 'dry out hands in 5 seconds' dryers, I've made a mental note of which toilets have which hand dryer and try to Avoid the latter

Oh and DS just puts his hand over his ears when he hears thrm

Young ears can hear frequencies older ears can't.

That's why so many pre-schoolers are terrified of hand dryers.

There's not a lot you can do about it though, I feel your pain.

I never use hand dryers when there is a small child present, but I guess that's not much help.

Obviously lots of it about but just thought I would share my experience - DD was so frightened of them that she would (and did) literally bolt from the toilets in stores etc, and shut down just like you describe. She has turned out to be very dyspraxic, and sensitivity to noise was one of the symptoms that showed first. Even now (she is 11) she cannot bear loud sudden noises, wears ear defenders for the school fireworks and becomes very stressed if people shout at or near her.

We would go into the disabled or baby change toilets so less people etc but since starting primary my dd1 came home on her third day and announced that she is not scared of hand driers anymore!!

Some are so bloody loud. I can understand why he's scared.

I asked a woman to use the paper towels once because I could see the fear in ds' eyes!

Both of mine were similar. Ds2 did get over it after me finding a relatively weak and quiet one and me holding his hands whilst he dried them.
Tip: Always take a flannel so you can dry hands without the dryer.

My DD hates hand dryers. We always identify where they are when we go in (mainly so clumsy mummy doesn't back into the blasted thing and set it off!) I will use the hand dryer if the layout is such that she can stand a little way from me. Oddly some days she seems more upset so on those days we don't use them.
I'm afraid we use disabled loos (sorry) as then I can control if they go off or not. Does your hair dryer sound similar? How does he react to that?

Those dyson driers are painful to me...I'm not surprised that young dc are scared of them!

Both my DC were frightened of them too. DC1 got to the point of refusing to use any public toilet at all, just in case there was a hand dryer!

It wasnt trying it on or anything like that, they were both genuinely upset by the noise. We took a potty everywhere and DC1 grew out of it when he was about 3 and a half.

Mine are. Also scared of the Hoover!

My youngest dd 3 next week is also petrified of them. We used to always use the disabled or family toilet. We have now progressed to her covering her ears for the entire toilet visit and she always just dries her hands on tissues. Bloody dyson one gave her a scare when she'd just starting walking. Someone put it on and in her rush to get away ran under another one and set it off too. She's also scared of hoovers, hairdryers, fire engines, the school bell and her gran's local church.....

Ummmmm he's not frightened of the hair drier or hoover at home- in fact he "uses" both.
We don't even get to wash his hands- he's so terrified he can even go to the toilet or point blank refuses to sit/stand on toilet or potty in a public loo. It's because other people are using the hand driers.
I've tried taking him into the disabled toilet or baby changing room but even just seeing a hand drier on the wall is enough to make him frightened and refuse.
The other exciting thing to drop in the mix is he doesn't like being watched gen he goes so plonking him on his potty in the middle of a very public place isn't all that practical as he doesn't want anyone to see. He also wants to be the one to empty the potty always.
I honestly don't know where all these issues have come from- DH and I have always had an errrrrrrr "open door policy" for DS to learn about toileting habits so none of it should be a mystery to him .

Oooooh I like the idea of using the hair drier to dry his hands at home for a bit. Sounds like a plan.
DS is my eldest child so all a bit new to me- is it acceptable to literally sit him on a potty in a public place?? Eg middle of shopping centre, supermarket etc. Then how does one go about ermmmmmm emptying the potty without any spillages?? (Sorry to be so crude- if there's something out there I can buy for this consider it sold!!) plus have a baby in tow!!

You can buy travel pottys that have disposable liners. Though not sure how much help they'd be if he's very private. I can sympathise my dd refuses to go if her sisters have friends over. I have to make them all sit downstairs before she'll go up and use the loo