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Red flags ds 2.4 or panicky mum??

10 replies

Jakeyblueblue · 15/11/2013 09:33

Hi,
Ds 2.4 is my first born and I'm a nurse so am my own worst enemy with imagining symptoms and thinking the worst. I've worried that he's had all sorts of things since he's been born and through my pregnancy and none came to fruition but this is still nagging at me.

He's a very loving active little boy. Always on the go. He has no issue with eye contact, pointed, clapped, babbled, hit milestones on the average time scale and is now talking in 3 and 4 word sentences. He's always loved to be held and I've never seen any typical autism behaviour such as arm flapping, spinning or repetitive behaviours. He does have the odd terrible tantrum but I can always identify what caused it and usually distract him out of it. He does get little fixations with things (cars at the moment) but they pass and he's on to something else. All pretty normal for a toddler I would hope. He will also do lots of imaginative play, cars in garages and zooming them
around and will feed the teddy, put it to bed etc.

The things that worry me is his eating. Always been fussy with textures and will point blank refuse new foods. He used to gag and all sorts when younger but that's now better. He is slowly beginning to try new foods and it's getting better but he def won't eat what other kids his age do. I have taken him to the hv and gp about this and both were unconcerned, felt he was probably just a sensitive gag and strong preferences! He is also totally non food orientated, he eats because he has to and stopping to sit down and eat is just boring for him. He's also not keen on having dirty hands but can be encouraged to finger paint, bake etc and usually enjoys it, and of course when he decides to play with mud in the garden or empty a whole bottle of shampoo over the bathroom floor, or dissect a Biro he's totally ok with dirty hands!!

The other thing that concerns me is that he doesn't seem keen on kids his own age. He's always been one on one with an adult so isn't used to a nursery environment and I've just started taking him to more playgroups to try to prepare him for preschool etc. When I say not keen, he is usually quite excited to be there and will Run off straight away to play. He has no issue playing alongside the other kids and there's no distress but he doesn't interact much and the couple of times we've been he won't sit down at snack time or sing song time, just wants to run around doing his own thing. He has a couple of little friends his own age and he will make more of an effort with them, hold their hands if I ask and cry when they go home but he doesn't have that same fascination with kids his own age that I've seen others have. On a plus point though he loves his older step brother and cousins. Ages range from 5-12. I've watched him with them and he interacts really well. Good eye contact and will participate in any game they are playing. Sometimes he is in the same environment as the older kids and the ones his age and he will always want to play with the bigger ones. But I'm hoping that's because he's a big boy and their games are far more interesting than dolls and pushchairs.

No one else has any concerns about him. Neither grandparents or sister who do the childcare, husband thinks he's totally normal too and is very much like how his step brother was as a baby / toddler.

I really hope that I'm just being pfb and that ok, he may have some food issues, (I've always had texture issues too. Can't eat bits etc) but the behaviour at playgroup is most likely because he's not used to that environment just yet? If I'm being daft please give me a slap as I'm driving myself mad mithering about it! Or alternatively, do you think I'm right to be concerned?

Thanks in advance. Sometimes it just helps to write it down. Grin

OP posts:
AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 15/11/2013 09:44

Not an expert but he sounds totally typical to me. DSis was very much like this with food and was really fussy till she was about 18! Never caused any major problems and now she eats everything.

I think children are like adults and all react differently/take time to get used to big social groups. It doesn't sound like his behaviour is unusual but of course if you continue to worry, flag it up with an HCP.

Bumpsadaisie · 15/11/2013 09:53

Sounds normal to me. Toddlers are incredibly fussy with food and usually are not interested in playmates really till they get to the other side of 3 years old. Some toddlers and young children are very fastidious too about dirty hands or messy hands.

noblegiraffe · 15/11/2013 09:55

He sounds completely normal :)

Chocchip88 · 15/11/2013 09:58

100% normal to me Smile

Seeline · 15/11/2013 10:06

Sounds normal to me too. Kids that age often don't play together much, but if he is happy playing alongside them I wouldn't worry. With sitting down for eating, singing etc - he is a boy, why sit down Grin
THe food thing doesn't sound too bad. My DD was terrible with food - wouldn't even put a spoon in her mouth until she was 9 months (and we started weaning at 4 months in those days). She has always been fussy, and barely ate anything until she was 2. Trying new foods was a nightmare but try not to get too worked up about as your DS will pick up on it. Put new foods on his plate and if he doesn't want to try don't force it, just keep putting it there for him to get used to. My DD is 9 now and still has a fairly limited range of foods that she actually likes and enjoys. BUT she will now try new stuff, and if she doesn't like it - fine.
I really don't think you have much to worry about - just enjoy him!

mummytime · 15/11/2013 10:12

He is 2!
Children at this age do not normally play with each other.
Children can be very very fussy. I would try the old, try to introduce 1 new taste or texture in small amounts, over time and keep trying for at least 5 goes. Encourage him to try a "tiny" bit of everything, but don't make it a battle.
Are you working? If not that might help, or at least doing some study or something to give yourself an outside focus from your son.
Remember "other people's" children are often not as perfect as you might think. Parents often try to put a positive spin on their children's behaviour, and exaggerate. Of course there are people whose children eat everything they are give. But sometimes when they are older they do become fussy. My son who eats almost everything went through very fussy stages.

Finally although there is probably not a problem, if you still have a nagging worry, then maybe keep a diary of things that worry you. Your son may be acting in the middle of the "normal behaviour" band for 2; but there is a slim chance that his behaviour becomes more unusual as he gets older. Just don't worry at present, because he doesn't sound that different from most 2 year olds.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 15/11/2013 11:16

All sounds normal to me, ds3 is 2.8 and just starting to have an interest in other children., although they tend to be a few years older.

Children his age tend to want to play with his cars, which he does not like one bit!

MoominsYonisAreScary · 15/11/2013 11:18

He is also a very fussy eater atm. Wont eat most veg, doesnt like the texture of porridge or chicken and wont eat anything brown (weetabix, lasagne) as he says it looks like poo

Jakeyblueblue · 15/11/2013 15:28

Thanks for the replies. I feel a bit daft now but maybe that's what I needed! I do work but I'm a worrier by nature.
Thanks for putting my mind at ease. This motherhood lark is hard work! Grin

OP posts:
mewkins · 16/11/2013 08:25

Very normal. Dd is exactly like your son with food - sheis nearly 3.5. She won't touch cheese, sausages, anything that is mixed eg lasagne etc, but loves odd things. I was also a fussy eater as a child and know that fear of eating something I don't like the look of.

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