always crying!!! need help

[scaredmommy2013]

I have a one year old. He whines and cries all the time. He gets frustrated with everything. He gets into everything and I can't get 5 feet away from him without him throwing a fit. I never get a break except when I go to work and now I'm pregnant again. My anger level is extremely high and I don't know what to do. I don't want him to see me angry but I have no patients left. What can I do?

Sorry to hear your having a bad time it must be hard going through all of this and being pregnant on top of that

Have you tried voicing your concerns about his behaviour to the health visitor or something? There could be a number of reasons for his irritability!? How long has it been going on for? Just thinking it could be he's coming down with something??

Do you have anyone that can help you out I.e give you a break even for 5 minutes so you can get some space!?

He's been doing it for a few months. I asked quite a few people and they think it's him being spoiled. I spoil him but nothing makes him happy for very long. He gets so angry if I don't move fast enough or if I try to lay him down while he's asleep. I can tell it's a temper tantrum. I would when understand if he was in an angry environment but he's in a very loving one. He won't go to anyone but his dad and grandpa so unless my husband is off work getting a break is out of the question.

Hmm maybe it's just an unfortunate phase he's going through.. Is he getting enough sleep do u think? Does he sleep through the night? Nap in the daytime?

I only ask cos My ds is very laid back, hardly ever cries BUT on the odd occasion he misses a nap or has a bad nights sleeps he can be a nightmare, spends most of the day whining and throwin impatient tantrums, just like how u described

I personally doubt it has anything to do with spoiling him ,
I mean that may cause problems when he's older bt at this age I doubt he can associate tantrums with gettin what he wants - do u get to take him out much ie to the park etc ?

He hasn't slept all night since he was born. I take him different places: stores, church and occasionally to the park. He likes going places but don't like long road trips. I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me. It really helps.

I agree, I also have a one year old who is a nightmare when he hasn't had enough sleep, when he has he's a dream. Things to look out for with kids who are tired is irritability, not seeming to know what they want, frustration rather than genuine upset, and common tantrums. You haven't spoiled him, you've loved him.

As a guide, it seems most kids who are overall relaxed have 12h straight at night and 2h sleep after lunch. Does your do that and if not how far away from it is he?

If anything rather than spoiling, it may be that you going to him at night has become a habit. Is he waking looking for comfort or is he hungry? A big bottle of milk at night helps here, but they also need to be getting enough calories in the day.

To get a good daytime pattern going, make sure you get outside in the morning. Go to a class, the playground, anywhere he can run around and be happy then straight back for lunch and to bed. Don't let him get overtired otherwise it makes things worse. Even if you have to give lunch at 11-11.30 finding that right window to get him a good sleep in the day really helps.

Sorry if you've tried all this or it's totally irrelevant, good luck, it's not your fault!! xxx

No problem that's what we're here for

I think lack of sleep may be your answer here, my ds is the same age and he generally needs about 12 hours sleep at night and a two hour nap to be settled. ( he has an hour in the morning and an hour after lunch)

What works for me is that he is in a routine at night (bath, story, bed), havin a set bed time helps. If he fusses at night at this age it's worth leavin him for 5-10 minutes before u go to him cos he should be capable of settling himself. as they get older their sleep patterns change somewhat.

Best advice I had was - observe him for a few days and write down everything- what time he eats plays and when he gets tired / has a nap ..after a while maybe even a week u should see a a rough pattern of behaviour, then u can work out a better routine to suit him.

Also if you haven't already, try and catch him for a nap before he gets overtired and if u stick at that for a couple of weeks he should get used to it - it may not work straight away

Stick at it your doing great - if you have tried all this and it doesn't work get back to me and I can try and help you find some sleep techniques that I know have worked for my ds

I agree with previous posters that sleep could be key. And you haven't spoiled him! He's a baby.
Even the best behaved toddler will have tantrums. I tally understand the feeling of getting angry. What I found helped was to put myself into my child's mind - they ate frustrated for some reason, can't vocalise it or probably even understand it. They need comfort and for us to help them understand why they are angry or upset.
On the sleep thing, hang in there - I thought DD would never sleep through and then suddenly it just clicked as she goes to bed happily and stays there all night. Maybe you already have a fixed routine? But I found being very strict with routine and prioritising DD's naps and bedtime helped a lot.
Hope you're feeling better OP xx

Just to add to what the other posters have said....my little boy is 11.5mo and sounds very similar to your your little boy. BUT my little one gets lots of sleep: sleeps 7pm - 6.30am overnight, and then has a 40 minute nap in the morning and a 90 minute nap after lunch.

And he is STILL a flaming misery most of the time!! he is grumpy and frustrated a lot of the time,I think he is desperate to walk but his body is not quite ready yet. He is a very fast crawler and is into everything as well....always getting into mishcief and is a real handful. I find him exhausting too, and go back to work in too weeks time and cant wait for a break 3 days a week

No real advice here: but lots of sympathy and hand holding. It is hard with a boisterous boy!

If he is tired and that's causing the grumpiness, have you tried putting him down for a nap in the morning, 2.5 or 3 hours after he first wakes up? This might cheer him up a bit and keep him going till lunchtime, and then you can put him down for another nap in the early afternoon. I LIVE for DS'naptimes at the moment, and cos he only sleeps well in his cot I make sure I am at home twice per day when he will need a sleep (its pretty restrictive to live like this but i think it's better than the alternative: an overtired nightmare baby!).

Also, I think with my little boy, cos he i so nosy and into everything, he can't shut his brain off to nap in the buggy or whatever - he is too excited to look at everything. So at home, in his cot, in pitch dark bedroom is the only thing that works for us. Might be worth a try?