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Son has no friends at school

2 replies

Feellikerubbish · 14/11/2013 11:17

My son is nearly 6, in year 1 at school. While we are busy working, not really made any friends with other parents at school and most of our own friends have no children or live far away. Both sides of the family, our kids are the only kids, no cousins etc.

My son started off at school really well, with a few friends he loved playing with. That soon changed and he moved on to playing with two particular boys, then one and now none. He said he doesn't like play fighting with the rest of the boys at school. Sometimes his friends run away from him in the playground.

He used to be very reserved as a toddler but since starting school, he has really opened up and chats a lot. He will make friends at the park with children he doesn't know with ease. AT swimming and tennis lessons, he also talks well to other children.

At home, he loves to play computer games, on my phone or watch movies. I have limited screen related activities to one film per week, 10 minutes on nintendo ds or my phone per night and 1 hour playstation once a week at the weekend otherwise he gets aggressive and won't stop playing.

As a child, i grew up with busy parents who will pick me up from school and would take me straight home where my mum worked from home. I never really played with kids from school outside of school. I remember struggling to make friendships at school, i always found it awkward.

He tells me he tries to queue up next to his friends when going out to the playground otherwise will lose them. He also, regularly asks the boy he likes to play with if he will play with him and yesterday the boy told my son he hates him.

What can i do to help him?

OP posts:
ICameOnTheJitney · 14/11/2013 12:40

Poor DS and poor you. The first port of call here is an appointment with his teacher...call up and make a proper appointment with time to talk. Tell the teacher all he has told you and then ask her what can be done.

There are ways of helping kids in this situation and it's a very common one...he sounds like he was fine and has now fallen into a trap of feeling lost....so it will be salvageble.

In the meantime, ask him if there is anyone he'd like to invite for tea one evening...then if you don't know the parent, pop a note in to the teacher to go home with the child' in question. I've had a number of notes like this from working parents who just don't see me at the school gate and I'm always happy to respond if my DC want to play with the child...which has always been a yes.

Kiwikiss1 · 14/11/2013 17:13

Hello, I mean this in the gentlest way, it sounds like history is repeating itself and I think from your second to last paragraph you are self aware and intelligent enough to recognise this.

It is very hard to teach something that was never modeled to, encouraged or taught to us. Perhaps the first step to helping your little boy is for you to make every effort to connect with and befriend people at school and his swimming and tennis lessons and invite the parent and child over for a coffee/playdate. You are then setting the stage and modeling successful social behavior to him. He sounds like an introvert so he does not need heaps of friends just one or two special ones.

Best of luck and big hugs xx.

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