3yr old ds put hands round neck of 1yr old dd and lifted her off the floor.

[blueberry1972]

DS2 will be 3 in December and has been going to a childminder 4days a week for the last 18mths. DD1 has just turned 1 and has been going to same childminder for 6mths. They are both very happy there.
When I collected them this evening she told me that DS has put his hands around DD's neck and lifted her off the ground. It must have only been for a split second as childminder was in the room at the time but DD was unable to scream. DS was told off (which she never does) and he was very upset asking her 'not to tell Mummy'.
DP and I have also had strong words with him this evening but I'm now worried sick he could do it again. He seems to love his sister but he is hyperactive and is difficult to control.
How do I get this to sink in to a boy of this age. He is very knowing and able. Any advice greatly appreciated.

Don't know the answer but I have a 4yo and a 2yo but similar height difference to your two I should think, and 4yo tries to do this - trouble is it is the exact right place for him to put his hands, if DS2 was taller it would be under his arms instead. It is usually in play, mucking about, trying to pick him up.

As least your DS knows it is wrong by the sounds of it, hopefully won't do it again.

Thanks for replying. DD isn't walking yet but isn't far off and I'm hoping she'll be able to run away or just wallop him! I've just been frozen to the spot all evening thinking what if.... She's a heavy little girl, I can't believe how he didn't break her neck.
I don't know whether to just drop it or keep talking about it to him for the next few days. What do you think?

As he's not even 3 I don't think you can keep on discussing it, hopefully he got enough shock from the childminder telling him off.

Maybe talk about gentle hands, gentle playing, encourage him to take his sister's hand etc

I'd say drop it now and just watch him closely for a while. It does sound like he knows he did wrong and didnt mean to. I know my ds1 who is 3 can get over excited and a bit rough with ds2 sometimes, ongoing training process...

Thank you both. I spoke to the childminder again this morning and she said he was sobbing after it had happened. She never usually raises her voice (unlike me lol) and I think this scared him if nothing else. Apparantly he just sat on his own for a ghood hour after it had happened. I'm now sure he knew it was the wrong thing to do. boys, Boys, Boys.
Thank you for your support.

I'd agree with the others. It has been dealt with, and it sounds like your DS got a nasty shock, which he won't forget in a hurry. He now knows grabbing someone by the neck is a really bad thing to do, which he probably genuinely didn't know before. Keep a close eye on them for a while, but I'd put money on it not happening again.

Are you sure he wasn't just playing/trying to have a cuddle and didn't understand until after the fact how dangerous it all was?

I really dont think he meant to hurt her and I cant imagine a boy of his age would know what could have happened. He adores her and vice versa. He is hyperactive and doesnt realise his own strength. He is v v strong. Other children literally bounce off him. When DD1 was a baby until she started to crawl I couldn't leave them in the same room, even to nip to the loo. He would either try drag her out of the swing, prod her eyes and a couple of times bit her toes so hard that they bled. I'm painting him as a monster. He really isnt. I'm just wondering if there might be other issues.