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Please, any advice regarding ds not sleeping?

7 replies

Dollslikeyouandme · 13/11/2013 20:08

Ds is 5 years old. He has always slept very well, even when he was a baby only waking up for a feed and cuddle and settling straight back to sleep. He slept well through the toddler years, he'd have a nap and still sleep for 12 hours, and has always had the same routine, milk, bath, story then bed. He's always gone to bed early and got up late.

He's 5 now, and recently, probably the past 6 months to a year, but slowly getting increasingly worse, he doesn't seem to be sleeping as well.

He goes to bed absolutely fine, as I said, he has the same routine of a drink of milk, a bath and a story. But I've started to notice it's just taking him ages to go off to sleep.

He's not playing up, he's not getting out of bed, or refusing to go to bed, he just can't sleep. And sometimes on a bad night this is going on until 10 o'clock at night.

There are no behaviour problems with him, he eats well, probably watches a little too much tv, but doesn't have a tv in his room or anything, and he isn't playing video games or anything to over stimulate him. He gets plenty of exercise, weekends we are usually outside for hours in the park or on long walks.

For example yesterday I picked him up from school, we went to the shops, we had tea then he had his swimming lesson, bath, story and bed by 7.30pm. He was still tossing and turning up there at 9 o'clock.

Tonight I've picked him up from school, straight home, did homework, had tea. I tried to get him to read his book, he wouldn't go and get his book and was rolling around on the floor (all through tiredness), so I went and got it, then he wouldn't read it, I made the mistake of saying that I'd have to write in his reading journal that he wouldn't read his book, and that led to the tantrum. He was screaming and crying, this is completely unlike him, I know for a fact that it was because he is just completely exhausted, he was inconsolable and ran upstairs to bed sobbing. I went up after him and he was falling asleep while I was talking to him, I persuaded him to get up for a bath and a story and to brush his teeth but I had to undress him as he was ust lying on the floor still sobbing. He calmed down and was happier once he'd had a bath and even said sorry for shouting (I hadn't asked him to ust asked if he was ok now) I'm now thinking that I should have just left him as this seemed to wake him up that all happened at about 5.30pm tonight and he went to bed at about 6.30pm straight after bath and story as he was so tired, and he's still awake now Sad

I really don't know what to do, I leave him to it as he's not getting up, I pop in each hour just to tuck him in and settle him down.

I feel so sorry for him, he's got to go to breakfast club and after school club tomorrow as I will be at work.

As I said he had a routine, the house is nice a quiet, his room is comfy, what else can I try?

OP posts:
SteamWisher · 13/11/2013 21:13

Maybe he has stuff on his mind which he needs to process before he can relax? Hence having a tantrum meant he actu got it out and slept earlier (if I understand correctly).

Is there time in his routine to talk about stuff going on? My ds who's 4 likes to go through stuff - but not by me directly asking. We'll have lights out and I make up a story and he might ask some questions which are obviously related to something he's seen/heard in the day.

fempsych · 13/11/2013 21:20

Have you tried a kids meditation cd(look on amazon). Takes a bit of time to work but maybe over a few nights. Also, have you tried staying with him and telling a long story so that he can gently relax whilst he listens. He may be wound up from his day (stimulation) and need some help moving into the relaxed state needed to sleep..some people are naturally better at this than others :-)

Goldmandra · 13/11/2013 23:23

Audiobooks can work well. Choose a few fairly simple stories that are not exciting. As he gets to know them the routine and predictability should be reassuring and help him to relax and the stories themselves should help him not to think about worrying or exciting things.

Dollslikeyouandme · 13/11/2013 23:45

Thank you for your replies.

I agree that winding down by having a chat may help, I do try to do this but sometimes not because of time. Meditation cd is certainly something I will look into also.

My mum suggested audio books, I'm a little wary of forming habits that he relies on too much to sleep. But as my mum pointed out a book is never a bad thing, and something I use as a sleep aid without even realising it. So I will trial this at the weekend and see how we get on, also to let him look through a book by himself before lights out.

Thanks again.

OP posts:
SteamWisher · 14/11/2013 08:39

What's wrong with forming habits to sleep? We all have them - even if little ones like making sure our pillows are just so etc etc. better that and he sleeps quickly than flapping about for hours on end? He might have stuff on his mind - is it his second year at school? The pace picks up a bit now do that'll be having an impact I'm sure.

mawbroon · 14/11/2013 14:42

I have time with ds1 before he goes to sleep. He is 8yo now, but we have done this since ds2 was born 3.5yrs ago.

He asks me to lie in the bed with him and we chat about all sorts of things. I always ask if there is anything bothering him. Often the answer is no, but sometimes he will then open up and tell me things that are on his mind. Sometimes we chat for 2mins, sometimes we chat for 45mins, it just depends what he brings up. I think that even if I can't offer him solutions, he feels better for being heard.

SteamWisher · 14/11/2013 20:04

That sounds lovely mawbroom. I will try that with ds.

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