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Behaviour/development

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4/5 year old friendships

2 replies

NearlySchoolTime · 13/11/2013 12:12

Hello there.

DS is 5 and has a "best friend" he has known for a while. They are at school together but not in the same class.

Towards the end of nursery and this year DS has quite often mentioned that that day his friend has said he's not DS's friend, doesn't want to play with him or sit by him etc., although when you see them together they get on fine and actively seek out going to each other's houses. I am also aware I have on a couple of occasions heard DS say he doesn't want to play with or be friends with other children, so I was wondering - is this just normal 4 and 5 year olds developing?

I don't want to be PFB about this but I do want to make sure that DS has a decent sense of self-worth as I spent a lot of my school career being picked on by "friends" and didn't stand up for myself. I am also wary of projecting my own situation onto something basically harmless.

Setting aside the particulars of this friendship, any general advice on how you can help your child to be able to stand up for themselves?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts.

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ICameOnTheJitney · 13/11/2013 18:05

Very normal. My DD is in year one...aged 5 and she's always saying "X didn't want to play with me today" or conversely "I didn't want to play with Y today"

and "Z isn't my best friend anymore...so I'm going to not play with her!"

All I can suggest is what I do myself...the exhausting encouragement of lots of other friends..I invite them round...not often but one or two a term. This seems to be helping DD to widen her circle. It was already wide in preschool but she seemed to get "stuck" with one girl in reception and this girl was bossy....

NearlySchoolTime · 13/11/2013 19:18

Thanks ICameOnTheJitney - very reassuring, and I will do that!

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