8 month old suddenly refusing solids, power struggle at mealtimes!

[Mrsbirchall]

Hi Mummies.

My 8 month old has always being very tricky taking his bottle (we've tried everything and there is absolutely no pattern or consistency as to why - he just doesn't take more than 60ml max at one time) but thankfully he had weaned ok.

But...he's now got another cold and his two top teeth coming through (he has the bottom two) and all of a sudden he has become a nightmare to feed too!! All of the lovely homemade food he used to eat he now refuses to even open his mouth for without even trying it yet he knows if yogurt is on the spoon and will happily eat that all day long. I'm at my wit's end as I do think there is an element of power struggle here as he will eat bits of something I am eating but it's like he's suddenly protesting at me being the one feeding him.

I have thought about BLW but he's not great at eating things he picks up himself as he often misses his mouth then just drops it and forgets it's there! I could be there alllll day just trying to watch him pick up and eat a piece of bread!

My concerns are how to get enough food down him daily when he isn't a big milk drinker and also at what point do I just let him eat what he wants?! My stubborn instincts are to insist he eats the nutritious veg and meat stuff I've made him but also of course Idon't want to create these hideous mealtime scenarios which they are becoming. I get so stressed (I've had so many months of tricky bottle feeds that this new situation with solids too has tipped me over the edge)

Has anyone had anything similar? I'm upset that he would open his mouth to anything up to a fortnight ago and whilst this may be teething and cold-related, am worried that he has now become the ultimate fusspot who will forever live on yogurt and whose weight will plumet?!..(we are still seeing hospital peadiatrician after his centime dropped down the chart at 3 months old)

It's becoming all consuming and I DREAD feeding times as find it very hard to keep my cool when he refuses to open his mouth for something that's taken me ages to make. It sounds silly but a I feel like he's winning if I just let him ignore the good food and just snack on bits and pieces that won't give him the same calories or nutrients.

Thanks for any advice :)

xx

Let him eat what he wants now. You're the one makin it a power struggle so stop struggling. He won't let himself starve.

Put food on his plate or high chair tray and ignore him, staying close by just in case.

My worry though is that a lot of people say that that's ok as they still get a lot of nutrients from their milk so doesn't matter if they don't eat much. It my baby hates milk so he's going without for both! :(

Think you're right that I'm definitely making it worse for us both..!

Maybe read something like my child won't eat, Gonzales . Offer what you are having when appropriate, do some blw, don't worry. Weaning ebbs and flows no child keeps eating the same food and quantities. It's not personal and it's not wrong it is normal.

Is there any chance it could be due to reflux? I am guessing not as you say he has been seen by a peadriatrician, but he sounds exactly like DS was at that age. He got so bad that he would only eat yoghurt, nothing else at all. Somehow he managed to keep putting weight on, so the HV was not concerned, but I was slowly going mad! every mealtime was a battle. He was finally given baby Gaviscon, and it was like magic! He started eating within a few days and never looked back.

My son has gone through many phases like this over the months (he is now two and eats much better now Han he ever has). At times he would only want to eat yogurts. If you think it might be his cold and teething then offer what you know he will enjoy. Don't be afraid to offer yoghurt first or along side other food- it might get him started.

We have always tried to avoid turning mealtimes into a battle though it hasn't always been easy and I have found myself massively stressed. We would revert to purées and soups during fussy periods to ensure he was getting the nutrients he needed. We continued to offer solid food alongside in the hope he might take an interest and just took it away without saying anything if he had refused it. He always came out the other side in just a few days eating better than before.

Good luck! And remember ... It WILL pass.

I would suggests dropping the power struggles. Offer him nutritious food at mealtimes and let him eat it or leave it. No problem with helping him feed, but only be offering the loaded spoon - if he closes his mouth or turn away, don't push it.

Then offer milk whenever he seems hungry outside of mealtimes. If he wants it in 60ml batches then why not do that?

He won't starve himself. He will eat more/drink more milk to satisfy his hunger. I promise. My Child Won't Eat is a great book if you would like some reassurance :)

Thanks everyone :)

He is on big calorie milk as we can only ever get about 500ml max in him across an emote day - 60ml can take me over an hour to get in him over various different bursts of trying - basically my whoollllle day is consume do y feeding him - whether it be milk or solids!

I will go with it for now as thankfully we have a follow-up hospital appointment next week, the HV made such an issue of him dropping down the centile chart when he was 3 months that I have it egged into me he could drop even more and that be a disaster. He's always pretty much a content baby and has been sleeping well since 7 weeks so Im very lucky there - I think I'm just obsessed and being stuck in the moment, it feels like this will never change but am praying it's just a phase too :)

He goes to nursery full time in Jan so it may or may not get better then...

xx

I remember that feeling, that somehow if they drop down the chart the world will end! I am fairly sure it won't though. the one useful thing I did learn when DS refused to eat is that you really can't force them to eat, and believe me I tried everything!

He is much older now, and there is a lot to be said for observing the baby - happy? content? weeing and pooing? alert? smiling? hitting behavioural milestones?

Some babies at big, others are small. Some have big appetites, others small. Some eat three meals and no snacks, some graze all day. Some drop their milk as soon as solids are offered, some drink nothing but milk til they're one (or more!). They really are all different, and I think its important to look at the baby rather than looking at the checklist of 'average baby development' :)

Good luck!

Another thought - eating is far more relaxed if you're eating with others, no pressure and you can eat what you like. That's no different for babies.

Do you eat with your baby? If you want to eat later with DH then maybe eat half portions with both people?! Your baby will learn how to eat by watching you.

I would also talk to your baby about the day/what you're going to do later/how nice the ducks were this morning while your eating - talked the focus off eating and makes mealtimes more fun for both of you.

Could you buy jars? Then if he rejects it he isn't rejecting your efforts. My ds will sometimes refuse foods ( he's 10 months) but he will always eat jars of food apparently they are much tastier than the food I cook

Teeth, teeth, teeth.

Both mine did this at exactly that age and their appetites just came back later. Making eating into a power struggle is a Very Bad Idea as others have said.

Give him loads of milk to compensate, maybe a bit of calpol if he's grizzly, dribbly and mouthing everything even more than usual and TRY not to worry. Feeding, or the lack of, really pushes your buttons as a parent, but try to take the emotion out if you can.

And YY to buying the horrible luminous orange jars if that goes in where your beautiful home cooked food doesn't. Needs must and that was always certainly the way with mine.

My two year old still does this when teething. Stop making food a battle or he will start using it to get control at other times.

Give him oodles of full fat yogurt and mix in a little cream for extra calories imo.

"It's becoming all consuming and I DREAD feeding times"

Take a step back or you are going to make this into a huge deal around food.

He's prob teething or having a funny phase. He is so little he can manage on yoghurt and milk with a bit of fruit puree or whatever it is he likes.

Offer him lots of yoghurt or whatever he likes best.

He'll come out the other side of it. At the moment (he's only 8 mths!) its mainly about playing with food and tasting a bit here and there.

But above all you must try not to stress - which must be v hard I know. If he eats yoghurt he'll be fine!

PS my son is 24 mths and is now in a funny phase of eating two mouthfuls, pushing his plate away, exclaiming "finished!" brightly and jumping down from the table.

If we sit him back up and try and make him eat he has a total meltdown.

So we let him do it and ignore him because at this age you can't win a food battle

He will soon learn he gets hungry if he doesn't eat and that it is more fun to be at the table with us all!

With our four year old we insist she sits down, uses manners and eats most of whats on her plate. She is old enough. But my toddler isn't.

Hopefully you'll be reassured by the number of people telling you not to stress and sharing similar experiences with you.

I had the 'fear of the centiles' drummed into me too when my first was a baby. She was such a picky eater from birth really. She's 5 now and a slight build but happily eats a wide range of food and is full of energy and fun.

She always stopped eating when she was teething. I remember a 2 week period when she ate nothing but fromage frais!!

My youngest is 12 months, she ate almost no solid food at all until she was 10 months old - 2 months older than your DS. Now she eats really well - except when she has a tooth coming through.

At 8 months old your baby is too little to be having a conscious power struggle with you. Offer him the food if he doesn't want it don't try to force him it will give him the opposite message to that which you want him to learn - that eating is enjoyable.

Try to relax, as hard as it is, I do understand how anxious food/feeding issues can make you feel. He will NOT starve himself. It's only been a fortnight from what you say, it feels like an age to you but is just a small blip in his learning to eat.