I don't believe anything is wrong, but when do I start to worry that my daughter is missing milestones?

[SpeckyB]

My 13month old DD was progressing normally up until 6-7 months when everything slowed down. She wouldn't eat food until she was 11 months and has only just started crawling at 13 months. In my heart of hearts I do not think there is anything to worry about but the sensible side of me is starting to worry.

Positives - She was the first of her group to roll and could roll across a room with ease. She sat at 5 months and loves to clap (although only learnt how at 10 months). She repeats sounds back to me. Like baba and rara. She stares intently at people's faces and laughs at things we do. She likes books and can turn the pages.

Worries - she cannot point, wave or cruise. She has pulled herself up 3 times but seems uninterested in trying again. She will stand holding onto the sofa, but does not walk holding hands. She does not say any words.

When do I need to worry? Thank you for reading my long post!

Is your HV any good? Or your gp? In my area (Hampshire) the HV can assess at any month of development and advise if you need to be concerned...

well, you're already worried, so now is the time to see someone I would say.

make an appt with either HV or GP.

i'm sure she's just fine, but you need someone to put your mind at rest :)

My DS didn't walk until 15 months so I'd not worry about that too much.

Speak to your health visitor it could all be fine but if it's not your better to know.

Agree with bundaberg. If nothing else, the HV can reassure you. If there IS a concern (s)he will be able to point you in the right direction.
My DS wouldn't even stand until 13 months -let alone cruise! And didn't walk until 18 months. Everyone else's babies did, so I fretted and fretted. There are some babies that experiment a lot with walking, some that get up and go only when they've watched and watched and thought and thought about it....
If this helps, my non-walking baby climbed Snowdon when he was 5. Hope the HV can help x

Thanks ladies, I've been putting off asking the health visitor but I'll take her to a drop in clinic.

It's good to know delays at this stage don't have to mean problems later. It's so hard to watch all her little friends leave her behind...

FWIW I would not bother with clinic - ring the Hv and ask to come and assess at home...

And I totally understand the "being left behind thing"

Hi. My son didn't walk until he was 19 months and certainly didn't cruise at 13 months. I was starting to get a bit concerned then one day he got up and started walking round the house like he had been doing it for months, I couldn't believe it.

She sounds entirely normal to me. But I agree, speak with your hv if you want reassurance.

I swear that DD didn't point when she was meant to. I'm not sure she really ever has pointed much as she learned to talk and just asks for things now.

Definitely go to see the HV.

Have you tried to teach her to wave?

The health visitor is coming over next week with a detailed questionnaire so hopefully it will show all is ok.

I've tried to teach her to wave for a few months (we wave Daddy or me off to work every day). She just looks at me as if to say 'I know you want me to wave but I'm not doing that!'

She sounds completely normal to me :)

My twin girls are 13.5 months, both can wave (learned how in the last few days, neither point and only one cruises. One of them has never stood on her own. They only sat near to 9 months. Mine only say mama and dada. Speak to your hv if you are worried. Mine wanted to refer them to physio as they were not crawling at 11 months. I completely ignored her and they both crawled (within 10 minutes of each other) a few days later.

miaow your last few sentences sum up my daughter too.
She has turned into a very good early talker (now she's 20months) and I think it was all that absorbing she did early on. Just goes to show OP that just because her friends seem more "advanced" now doesn't mean the situation can't change very quickly as their development isn't always linear.

She seems fine, but it is better to clear all your doubts with with your hv

If she could roll to get to where she wanted, then she has no need to crawl, so not surprising she was later on that.
Dd2 refused food until she was about 9/10 months. That was the point her big sister put a chocolate button in her mouth and she thought solids might be okay after all. She remained a very fussy eater through toddlerhood, but now (and has done for some time) eats everything and anything.

Dd1 was like heart's once she did it, she did it entirely. She got up and walked at 15 months and never crawled again. Dd2, who walked at 9 months (absolute nightmare!) still would crawl if tired/ill/already on the floor until she was past that age.

Sounds like nothing to worry about, but definitely put your mind at rest with a visit to HV or GP - maybe you've got jabs coming up and you can mention then? Definitely no urgency.

Only thing I would add is that in your description (and it's your description, not necessarily your daughter) it started to sound a bit like non-responsiveness or lethargy. So for me, 'late' on milestones is nothing to worry about, but non-responsiveness or lethargy might be something to get checked out.

Like most posters, I could reel off a list of milestones our daughter was late with, plus some she was early with.

I thought the milestone for pointing was 18 months?

DS didn't walk until 16m. I think they start checking them physically if they aren't walking around 18m- 2y. Even then I know many children that have been fine and just late walkers. Ears (balance) can affect when walking starts as much as anything else.

I found waving and clapping to be mutually exclusive to an extent. DS waved 7m but didn't clap for ages longer; I'm sure DD also mastered one more than the other.

Speaking at 13m I wouldn't worry too much about. I think DS only had a few words between 1y and 17m, which was when things really picked up. He would mimic 'all gone' and maybe say Mummy, Daddy.

Personally, I think you've described a normal baby but your instincts will be keen so I agree to chat things through with an HV to put your mind at rest. With speaking too it's important to check whether they are understanding you. DD only really started talking a lot around 22m but for a long while before then you could give her an instruction or ask her to point out something in a book, and she would get it. 13m for me is a little too early for me to worry - maybe 15-17m I'd be concerned about a lack of pointing things out?

I wouldn't worry too much just yet. My ds Sat quite early (about 5 months) and then did absolutely nothing for ages! He could move himself around by dragging himself on his belly before he was year but didn't crawl properly until after his first birthday. He didn't start pulling up on things until about 15 months and then cruised after that. He finally took his first steps a few days short of 19 months but still couldn't get up by himself for at least a month after that (I can't actually remember timings now which shows its unimportant!) He wasn't talking at 13 months at all, more like 'bah bah bah, ma ma ma'.

Tbh I was worried to begin with, but once he did start actually doing stuff, just later, I became less worried. He's 26 months now and has totally caught up with his peers (apart from when climbing things as he has been blessed with his parents short legs, so can't always get his leg up on things!) But is absolutely fine!

I think about 20 months is when it is necessary to get concerned about lack of walking but anything before that is ok I think.