I am waiting for a call from DS1's swimming teacher confirming she can't control him in class

[Pascha]

and he needs to go back down to the baby class where the parent stays in the water. He's 3.2. MIL usually takes him and today he apparently just wasn't having any of it, going off to the slide at every opportunity.

I'm can't put him back in with all the toddlers can I? Can't do the times anyway. I guess this is the end of lessons for a while then.

What has happened to my nice well-behaved little boy lately? He never had the terrible twos. Is it happening now instead and will he grow out of it or is this the start of the slippery slope to behavioural problems?

I feel very demoralised sitting here by the phone waiting.

3 years old is very young to be taking part in swimming lessons without a parent in the water to help them focus. He sounds like a standard 3 year old to me.

Oh and everyone bangs on about terrible two's NOONE tells you about three year olds who in my experience a far worse!

Second three being worse. And omg no one warns you about 5 :o

8 isn't much better either

I know. I was dubious in July when she said he was ready (with about half of the class) to start in September in this class. She said it would be all children moving up, all starting at the same point, all (more or less) the same age and ability.

In the end I trusted her judgement, she's an experienced teacher who littlies generally respond to well. Oh dear.

When my DD was 6 I had to sit with my hand clamped over my mouth to stop myself shouting and waving from telling her to listen and pay attention to her swim teacher. She found herself in a very large swim group with other lessons going on around her and could not focus. In the end we gave up opted for 1 to 1 lessons, which were more expensive but meant she learnt much quicker without distractions. She is now 7 and back in a group session and doing well, i.e. Not talking/singing/dunking under water with her fellow swimmers

I agree that 3's are definately worse than 2's. (DS is 2 so not sure about older ages yet).

An older friend of mine told me the first 30 years were the worst!!!

Hi Pascha. My DDs were in swimming lessons with boys who could not concentrate long enough to wait their turn to do their bit and ran amock around the pool! (It was just boys). Not only is it unsafe it is very disruptive to the others. My DDs did have lessons at 3 but were nearly 4. I would just have fun in the water and resume when he is old enough to be taught and understand about water safety. Not all children will learn how to behave appropriately at the same speed. I wouldn't go back to the baby class but join the child class at a later stage.

Sorry should have said in above post that DS is 3 (not 2). If he was still 2 i wouldn't know that 3's were worse yet!

It's not just the boys, DD2 liked to tootle off into the deepest area despite being the smallest and generally ignoring and stressing her teacherer.

i definitely agree that just three really is very young for a structured swimming lesson without you there
we only felt ready to start dd1 at 3.6, and she's the most oddly biddable child I've met
dd2 has just turned 3, and is slightly more wild normal. I reckon she'll have turned four before she's ready to concentrate enough for a swimming lesson.

Was he showing off in front of you? I think that children often save up their worst behaviour for their parents.

I don't think that you are heading towards terrible behaviour issues - he is just being a pretty normal little boy, pushing boundaries and developing his independence.

Maybe leave the swimming lessons until he starts school?

first thirteen years are the worst imho
three year olds are bonkers.
hang in and bribe the bugger tell him what he needs to do, stand still and look at the teacher when she speaks. may be anything but obvious to him. swimming pool environment is a flippin nightmare anyway, who wants to look at a teacher when you can splash play and listen to all that fab echo-y stuff?
it will work eventually

Thanks all. Having had a good chat with the teacher last night we have decided to see how he fares in a 1-1 lesson, as we are paid up til the end of term anyway. He's going to start the week after next and we will see.

I (and MIL, when she takes him) have made a point of NOT being in view during the lesson as I am fully aware of the distraction possibilities. It seems he's just found out about hide and seek at nursery and now thinks its a great game to play in the pool

I think when its just him and her he will come on leaps and bounds so maybe its for the best really. He's just on the verge of swimming by himself. If it works out he can have them for the next term and then maybe see about joining a group class again when he's got the monkey jitters out of his system.

Agree with everybody else about the Terrible Threes. Worse than the
Terrible Twos imho, worse than the pre-teens, and teens are positively civilised in comparison. For us, every other age has been easier.

I wouldn't rush the swimming. You can go and play in the water. Most important thing at a young age is love of the water.

I started my oldest at 3 as I had another child and it was the only way I could get her to swim. She loved it and loved the teacher, but there were several that had to stop.

Now she's in the school age class and making tons more progress. But so are those who hadn't had lessons before!!! I really won't push my second one into lessons until 4 at the earliest.