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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How to keep ds away from the fire!!!

17 replies

Dragonhart · 08/07/2006 19:44

Has anyone got any tips on how to keep ds away from fire? We dont have it on ever but dont want him to play with it incase we are at someone else's and they do use it. We have been just saying NO and pulling him away from it but think it has turned into a big game now and he crawls up to it, pulls himself up on it, looks at me and says 'NO!'. Driving me mad as I am spending half my time pulling him away from it and the rest of my time trying to distract him! Pulling my hair out so any tips would be greatly appreciated!

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Jaysfirst · 08/07/2006 19:53

Hi, rather than giving him attention when he goes to it, why not try distracting him from it with some of his fav toys. In time ( and hopefully before you have to start useing it) he may have forgotten about it and moved on to the next thing! You know what kids are like when you say no, it incites them to it even more, play it down, dont make to bigger deal and i am sure he will focus on something new eventually!

Littlefish · 08/07/2006 19:54

We've always used a fireguard, firmly attached to the wall.

sparklemagic · 08/07/2006 20:32

use a fireguard, that's what they are for!

Twiglett · 08/07/2006 20:34

fireguard

Original poster

Dragonhart · 08/07/2006 22:29

Thanks for help but even if I got a fireguard, it doesn't change the fact that when we are in other people's houses he just wont listen even if I know things are dangerous. Most of our relatives live pretty far away and we often spend weekends away in houses where there are no fireguards so that doesn't really help. Do try to distract him but doing something he shouldn't is just too attractive!! THanks for suggestions though x

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Hattie05 · 08/07/2006 22:32

How old is your ds?

This will be a shortlived fascination - i'd ask relatives with no fireguards to not light the fire whilst you are there tbh.

He most definitely is finding yours particularly attractive becuase you say no. i'm guessing hes between 1 and 2 and thats the perfect age to learn about the world through trial and error. He will soon get bored!

Original poster

Dragonhart · 08/07/2006 22:45

Yes you are right Hattie, nearly one and he often crawls up to things he is not supposed to have and says it. Will try ignoring him (and hope he doesn't pull it off the wall!) Cheers!

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spidermama · 08/07/2006 22:49

I think that rather than try to stop him you have to guide him. Of course hge's fascinated by fire. It's fascinating. He has to learn a respect for it and fear/awe of it.

We have fires in our house and we also build camp fires. I've always crouched down at child level and told them in a serious, grave voice, 'Fire. Fire. Hot. Be careful'. I let them feel the heat and look and stand close, but I'm right there with them making sure they know this is a biggy.

I've never had cause to worry and they've all been pretty sensible about it.

mazzystar · 08/07/2006 22:50

Have you explained to him why he shouldn't touch it?

We taught DS the BSL for "hot" and used it in relation to the oven and the fire/guard. It helped.

Hattie05 · 08/07/2006 23:41

When i was training as a nursery nurse many moons ago!

There was this wonderful book 'nanny knows best'. It basically stated that children should never be told no unless there was real danger (e.g. only if your fire were on) and that if they are doing something that may cause them harm simply put precautions in the way - i remember one example of a child climbing up on something - rather than saying no or taking them down - you should stay beneath them in case they fall but let them explore.

I love her theory even though theres no way i could put it into practice myself! You'd spend your entire day following your child around. But i like the idea of saving no for real emergencies and keeping the rest of a child's life full of postiveness and exploration.

Of course dragonhart, i realise you are trying to teach your child about the danger, it just put me on a trip down memory lane!

Twiglett · 09/07/2006 10:13

unfortunately taking young toddlers to other people's houses is incredibly stressful .. it just is .. if it isn't the fireguard, its china or something else

you can only start to relax when they get to approaching 4 IME .. sometimes 5

I'd try distraction and deep breaths (for you)

sarahlou1uk · 09/07/2006 17:18

We've got a fire but like you, we don't have it on. My ds used to constantly make a beeline for it but I cured this by making him watch Big Cook Little Cook. I said that the fire was like the oven, hot hot hot. This worked and now he's not bothered.

sparklemagic · 09/07/2006 17:41

I agree with Twigg, taking kids of your Ds's age to other houses is just going to be stressful, it's the same for everyone who has toddlers, and I'm afraid there is no magic way of 'training' a child this age not to go near fires. It's knackering and boring but you simply have to be with them all the time and distract, distract, distract.

Over time it does get better but I remember our hearts sinking every time we had to go to certain houses as there was a 'don't touch anything' aura....

I always explained to DS 'don't touch fires, sometimes they are hot hot hot' and as he got older just banged on about the fact that you never know when a fire will be hot.

He loved our fireguard, used to pull himslef up on it and did good standing practice with it - though it was a big one, firmly attached to the wall!

sorry no magic answer, I just think you have to be on top of him all the time in other people's houses and use a fireguard in your own. I understand what you say about him learning about fire, but tbh there is always the impulsiveness of children to take into account, they sometimes act at the speed of light to do something you are convinced they know very well not to do; and hazards like falling over onto a fire are not unknown. fireguard!

FrannyandZooey · 09/07/2006 17:46

If it was on, he would feel the heat coming from it, and probably get to within a safe distance and then back off. If allowed to explore, babies can be quite sensible. Have you seen that experiment where they refuse to crawl over an apparent cliff (mirror in floor makes it look as though there is no floor) even when parent is on the other side encouraging them?

SoupDragon · 09/07/2006 17:47

Yes, but accidents happen and babies trip, fall over, roll etc in the wrong direction.

FrannyandZooey · 09/07/2006 18:02

Yes, I am not suggesting he is left unsupervised with it. However some people seem to presume that left to their own devices a baby will dive on the fire and roll around on it.

Original poster

Dragonhart · 09/07/2006 18:13

Thanks all.21

Like the idea of saving no for dangerous circumstances only Hattie as at the moment I seem to be saying it all the time and it obviously means nothing to him!. Cheers

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