Toddler 'self harming' - advice really needed please

[DampDudes]

My DS, 22 months, has started doing something really upsetting. When he's angry or stressed or frustrated, and sometimes for a reason I can't interpret, he hits himself on the head, hard, with both hands.

For years I've watched DH struggle with hitting his head when experiencing strong negative emotions (never in front of our DS though) and now I have to watch my precious little boy do the same thing. We've tried talking to him about how he's feeling, tried to say "I guess you're feeling really XX right now because of Y and that's Ok, but you don;t need to hit yourself." We've tried to show him how he can shout and thump a cushion if he's feeling badly, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.

It's breaking my heart. I don;t know what else to do. Am I overreacting? Is it, in fact, normal and I'm just getting overly upset by it?

My DD (18 mo) pinches and scratches her neck hard when she's upset or cross. It's awful. I self-harmed as a teenager, and I'm terrified I've passed on some inate inability to handle strong feelings. So watching with interest in case someone has some advice. I'm sorry I can't help, DampDudes, but I know how horrible it is to see.

My dd has done the hitting on the head thing since she was able to coordinate enough to do it. She does it when she is annoyed or frustrated with something she is not able to do or because I have refused to let her play with shiny knives or something like that. She will also grab the nearest object and hit herself with that if she is really annoyed.

Always thought this was perfectly normal expression of frustration and annoyance with a world they still don't really understand, unless he is actually causing himself an injury.

I have found that it has reduced a lot since I stopped making a fuss about it and instead just looked a bit unimpressed and told her she will only hurt herself.

My dd (17mo) does this too. Pulls her hair, hits her head and will slap herself. I just think its her frustration coming out.
She also bites but not people- just objects?! She gets really really mad then runs to the nearest object and bites whilst screaming. Seems to cool her down.
Hopefully they grow out of it please tell me they do

I think it's a normal developmental phase. DD is 2.6 and bites herself if she's in a real rage or frustrated.

DS (18 months) does this, I assumed it was a normal way of expressing frustration.

IMO children usually grow out of these things if you don't over focus on them when they are doing it. If you give them attention when they are doing it they will do it all the more.

My dd has sn and does a lot of biting head banging etc. In her case it's been explained that a lot of this is sensory behaviour rather than an expression of self hatred. Banging and biting helps access calming nerve receptors. O believe this could be similar for any child - we all bite chew clench fists etc when anxious or upset. I find it v helpful to know that what she's doing isn't self harm tho. I think you need to focus on preventing injury - soft things to bite and hit like pillows cloths rubberized chewy toys and don't re enforce the behaviour w lots of attention.

I feel really relieved -- thank you.

Tried ignoring/diverting/distracting today (dried apricots particularly effective) and it seemed like he was doing it less, but we have been very busy so that may have played a part too...

Thanks for the comments all.