2yo DD - Private Parts 'Hurt' & Nappy Change Problems

[vladimirimp]

Hi,

I hope I'm posting in the right place - really not sure if this is a health issue or behavioural.

DD is 26 months old, adorable, curious, fascinating and... very defiant. The defiance, as much as it can be infuriating, seems quite normal. Classic example - when asked if she'd like lunch "I don't want lunch", followed by me saying we won't have lunch, then her "I want lunch" etc. This is fine, and manageable, and hopefully temporary.

We get similar defiance when it comes to nappy changes too. She'll poo, inform us, but then create a fuss when it's time to change. (FYI - potty training has started, with one successful poo in the potty, but since then, she hasn't shown interest in repeating it!). So the defiance, again, seems normal, until it comes to cleaning her.

Her response, now, to being wiped, is quite extreme. She cries and struggles and makes it really difficult to do it. It's hard when you know that we can't leave her dirty, but she's clearly so stressed. It's worse that she does the same with her babysitter (two mornings a week).

One further factor is that at bath times she's started complaining that her private parts hurt. This is the only time that she can touch there because she's normally in a nappy, and we've noticed a lot of grabbing and pulling when she's complaining.

My wife has had a look and there doesn't seem to be anything obvious wrong there. I note that there was a lot of reassurance involved in this exercise "don't touch it, mummy", "I won't - is it ok to touch your leg here?" etc.

So we have a couple of theories. One is that she's got something wrong - perhaps an infection - though there is no visual symptom and she doesn't complain about pain any other time. Given the nature of the problem, we're not desperate to take her to a doctor who'll want to see it. The other theory is that the 'pain' is simply the sensitivity of that area, and her recent discovery of what it feels like to touch it.

Whether the nappy change issue is unrelated, we have no idea. And we certainly have no idea how (if we should) address it. We have no problems with her touching herself in the bath, but are obviously worried about the pain that she's describing. And we'd love to get back to simpler nappy changes - at the moment, we're having to consider bathing after nappy changes.

Anyone have any suggestions?

I think given the complaining and the behaviour (ie that it seems to hurt when you wipe her) you have no choice but to take her to the GP - it could be a urinary infection and it would be wise to get it ruled out. It would be good to get a urine sample before you go.

Thanks for your reply. I feel a little silly if it seems so obviously a doctor job! She's booked in for today, we'll see how it goes. We wanted to avoid it because doctor visits make her so anxious - she usually gets so worked up that she vomits in the room. And particularly that she seems to have developed particularly anxiety to this problem. But if that's what it is, it's clearly the right thing to do. Fingers crossed!

Thanks again for your reply.

Quick update. As we expected, the doctor saw no signs of infection (we'd checked online ourselves and out of maybe 10 symptoms for yeast or urinary infection, she had only one or two) and told us to come back in a couple of weeks if she's still got it.

Our best theory remains that it's a behavioural problem, hence the reason for posting first time to see if any other parents had seen the same thing. Since she exhibits this extreme behaviour during nappy changes and no other time (except occasionally saying it hurts at bath time - though certainly not every day), this is our best guess. Plus, when asked during nappy changes "does it hurt?" she says "no".

We all know that 2yo testimony is very unreliable, so maybe it does hurt, but we certainly see no signs of pain other times such as grabbing, wincing etc.

My ds is 2.4 and he's constantly telling me that stuff hurts, mainly his fingers or toes. He's not hurt himself & the statement is quickly forgotten. Maybe there's something to your theory about the sensation of touch/pressure etc.