4.5 month old still awake all evening! Please help!

[ColdTeaAgain]

Starting to get really fed up, I need some of my evening back! DD is hardly napping in the day and still doesn't go to sleep until at least 10pm and often even later, have been up until midnighttwice this week My only saving grace is that once she finally gives in, she does sleep through (usually!). But by that point I'm so bloody tired from being on the go from about 7am.

We have tried doing a bedtime routine (bath, quiet feed with gentle music on, low lights, reading a story) but it never works, she either cries and cries when she is put in her bed or she sleeps for about 30mins and then is awake again. Even just an hour of baby free time before I crawl into bed myself would be bloody lovely!

Mine were both like this. I took it as a positive that although they were late to bed they were not awake several times during the night as many friends had with their babies. I can assure you that people who are up all night would swap places with you as they have interrupted sleep for months and sometimes years. The 10pm bedtime coincides with the last evening feed and at least you have moved on from night time feeds. She is quite young to expect hours and hours of sleep at night and some babies and children never do more than 9 hours although some I know did 12 when they were older and more active. I never found a way to make them sleep earlier as babies and I think some babies are sleepy and some are not. I was utterly frustrated by it and tried the letting them cry routine but when u never see a reduction in the crying it just does not work. It does get better though and I tried putting mine to bed slightly earlier incrementally. I never, ever, got them to bed earlier than 8 though. My eldest DD was, and is, intelligent and was hugely interested in everything so I don't think her brain switched off. She hardly napped either. I had to fill her days with activities and she finally went to bed earlier when she started nursery. I recognise the need for baby free evenings so try and get a babysitter every so often and go out. Also do as much as you can doing the day. Sometimes babies get more tired when they crawl and then walk, so just keep going!

Hi OP - I clicked on your thread as I have a DS of the same age and have just started early bedtime this week.
As LittleSiouxie said though I am very envious that your DD sleeps through. I would probably have lived with it in your shoes - but I know that you eventually reach a point where you need some evening 'downtime' and when I did this with my DD who was a good sleeper - she got the hang of it quite quickly and slept 7-7 with a dream feed so you may get lucky!
I am on the No cry sleep solution thread. I read the book beforehand and am now on day 4 having just bit the bullet and shifted bedtime to the time I want it . It's been ok and not really affected my already rubbish nights. I guess I had less to lose as DS wakes every couple of hours at the moment. I
Join our thread if you decide to go for it and want some moral support!

Thanks for replies! Yes I'm definitely grateful that she sleeps through most nights. She barely sleeps in the day and is EBF so by the time I go to sleep at around 11 I'm pretty shattered! Its good to hear others are similar as i seem to be surrounded by babies that sleep 7-7 and I suppose I was getting a bit jealous!

Have not heard of the no cry sleep solution, will look it up.

It's a great book but you i guess you may not actually need it - unless you think the lively evenings are related to not napping in the day / overtiredness.
I'm amazed to hear of all these babies that manage without naps ! My DS can only stay awake 1.5 hours still.