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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How Long to kick the dummy habbit?

24 replies

Sonnet · 23/02/2004 09:38

Hello,
My DD2 still has/had a dummy for bed only. I know that i should have dumped it ages ago but as she has never been the best sleeper in the world I kept chickening out....I decided at the weekend that I had to bite the bullet so last night it was binned. She is just 3 by the way.
The night went brilliently and she is very motivated by her star chart - 1 star for going to sleep without dummy and another for getting through the night - IYSWIM...

The big question is: How long/many nights of successfully sleeping without a dummy before the habit is broken - a week, 2 weeks etc???
Any mumsnetters experiences greatfully received....

OP posts:

aloha · 23/02/2004 09:40

I think it depends on the individual child. If she's happy without it, then she's happy without it, iyswim.
My son is 2.5 and still dummied up and I don't worry about it.

misdee · 23/02/2004 09:49

i wish i never let dd have a dummy. she is almost 4 and wont give it up. we try to limit it to bedtime but she has secret stash somewhere and just keeps getting them. i dont know what to do, someone said cut them up in front of her, but i cant bring myself to do that, i mean, would i cut her thumb off if she was thumb sucker? she has sorta given up her blankie, but i am fed up with the dummy.

Original poster

Sonnet · 23/02/2004 09:54

Hi Aloha - thanks for responding...
Yes I was the same as you - I decided that DD2 would give it up when she was ready, and to be honest she was getting embarresssed about her dummy and use to hide it under her pillow.....
I was prompted to go cold turkey after a visit to the dentist on Thursday, even i can see that it has pushed her front teeth out slightly....
I was pleasently surprized how well last night went but think it will be a different story on Thursday night after 3 days at Nursery..

OP posts:

Angeliz · 23/02/2004 09:54

my dd is 3 on Wednesday and still has her dummy. I tryed the other day to limit it to ONLY bedtime but around 5ish when she's chilling and i'm cooking, she SOBBED for it and i gave in. I can't bear to hear her cry like that so i'm gonna leave it for a while! I have no idea how i'll do it but i do remember reading that they give it up by themselves eventually so i'm keeping my fingers crossed
I should imagine it's like any habit really!
Your dd will probably ask for it when tired/upset but should slowly get used to not having it!(if you see what i mean!)

Original poster

Sonnet · 23/02/2004 09:57

Hi Angeliz - early evening after 3 days at nursery is when it will be hard.....I will feel sooo cruel....but i mustn't give in

OP posts:

Angeliz · 23/02/2004 09:59

If my dd had gone with it that day i wouldn't have gave in either! If you are worried about her teeth too then i'm sure you are doing the right thing for her! If she's lasted one night it's more than my dd is able at the moment so you have hope+

Davros · 23/02/2004 10:03

What about offering a sort-of substitute? A new bedtime toy thats extra special and she can have instead of dummy as well as the star chart.

Angeliz · 23/02/2004 10:11

Yes i agree with Davros, a substitute! I was thinking about healthy nibbles, (tiny peices of fruit in a bowl or something). I have just kicked a habit,(smoking!!!), and i have so many new hobbies.........i even bought a sewing machine and made some curtains to keep busy
I'm off to the Wacky house but hope you get some good advice and will check for woeds of wisdom later!+

Original poster

Sonnet · 23/02/2004 16:45

Thanks everyone...She has never been one for soft toys in bed - would always chuck them out!! - but we "chose" one together for her to sleep with and this morning it was still in her bed!!!...we have been swimming with a friend today and she very proudly told little friend and Mum that she no longer has dummies and cuddles with Bananna Bear instead - so lets hope it has done the trick...
If anyone is interested on how I go on, I'll post on here in a couple of days.....(when |I'll be doolally from lack of sleep)

OP posts:

hovely · 24/02/2004 11:48

yes please let us know, I am following with interest,will try to kick habit later in year when new baby's arrival has receded a bit.

oliveoil · 24/02/2004 11:58

My hand was forced with this issue when dd had a horrendous bad cold/teething episode and was so bunged up she couldn't breath with one in . After us having 3 bad nights with no sleep anyway, I just didn't give it her back and she has slept ok. She is 16 months.

I wouldn't have taken it away otherwise, IMO if it's a comfort thing, let them carry on comforting they are still only babies.

GenT · 24/02/2004 12:05

dd is 9 months tomorrow and sometimes she needs a dummy, perhaps to keep quiet for us since she chunners, or I pop it in after the bottle is empty and she wants to suck an empty bottle, dummy is better than air.

But in our house, one dummy got lost from a pack of three just one day after being bought. Down to 2 dummies, we lost one the other day and when we found one the other got lost.

Just this week, dd had it when she went to bed, couldn't find it come bedtime. She didn't seem to miss it. Now that we found it this morning she has been using it. She isn't hooked on it but will automatically grab it possesively when she sees it. I held it in my mouth one night when I took her to bed and she agressively plucked it out my mouth, as if to say, THAT IS MINE.

Maybe you could try, letting it disappear for periods of time and she will forget about it, not being so dependent on it as it is out of sight. Just a thought.

jmg · 24/02/2004 12:18

We went cold turkey when DS was 2.5. Went to my sisters for the weekend and told him we had forgotton his dummy - he cried for about 30secs at bedtime. Asked for it the next night (still at hers) reminded him we had left it at home and he went off to sleep with no tears.

Got home the next day expecting him to ask for it, but was never ever mentioned again!!

Maybe the time just happened to be right. Maybe the break with normal routine, away from home, made all the difference - no idea really!!!

nutcracker · 24/02/2004 12:23

Well my dd (aged 4) left her dummy out for santa on xmas eve. She left a note telling him that he could give it to a baby reindeer. She got a lovely letter back from him too.
Since then, she has only mentioned it a couple of times (in the first few days), and since then nothing.

Mummysurfer · 24/02/2004 12:25

Wrong time of year but..
we sent them to Father Christmas at the beginning of December to "magic them into presents". Worked a treat.
Could try Easter Bunny.

Mummysurfer · 24/02/2004 12:26

We crossed NC.
I thought about doing that but was worried we'd have a sleepless night and it would spoil Christmas Day.

moosh · 24/02/2004 12:41

ds 4 years now took about 2-3 weeks till he stopped asking for it. He was about 3.7months at the time and I have done a passed thread on this. I just refused to buy anymore because he would loose them all over the place. Then I would find them bacteria ridden, hair covered festering under wardrobes, beds and behind sofa cushions. I did explain this with his very last one, I said that if he lost this one, mummy wasn't going to buy anymore. he suffered withdrawal for about 10 days, very ratty extremly irratable and i really felt for him, but we stuck at it. And a few weeks down the line he is fine. It was always a problem when he first got into bed as he used his dummy mainly to get to sleep, but after the first 10 minutes when he realised that mummy had no dummy to give he used to just drift off to sleep. Every day he was congratulated especially when it got tough and we told him how proud we were of him. And we bought him a favourite toy to reward him when we knew he had kicked the habit completely.

Original poster

Sonnet · 24/02/2004 12:48

Thanks Guys for all your positive responses...I was dreading reading about weeks of sleepless nights as the little darlings learnt to settle themselves down to sleep...
All went well again in the Sonnet household - can't quite believe it really.....
Dh said last night that "the time was right" - that she was ready to give it up and if we'd done this 6 months ago it would have been a lot worse...
Nutty - what a sweet thing your little girl did...
I also thought about giving it to Father Xmas but chickened out as I anticipated no sleep on Xmas Eve....I have no willpower....

OP posts:

Original poster

Sonnet · 24/02/2004 12:56

Moosh - at what point did you buy the toy? - I thought maybe a week would kick the habbit, but in your experience should I wait a bit longer. (She is currently collecting stars - 1 star for going off to sleep without it and 1 star for not waking up in the night crying for it...if she gets 2 stars for i night she gets to wear a star on her PJ's too!! I tiold her that when she had a long line of stars (days unspecified!)We would buy her a treat)

OP posts:

moosh · 24/02/2004 13:14

We bought him a toy about a week -10 days after he lost the dummy. He knew he was getting a toy and I let him choose which one he wanted (within price reason). I think it depends on how you think she is progressing. We were going to buy one sooner but we thought that we would wait till we were certain that he had kicked the habit so to speak.

Original poster

Sonnet · 24/02/2004 13:21

Thanks Moosh - if she carries on as she has been doing then Saturday is the day!!

OP posts:

linzoid · 24/02/2004 14:01

I'm having the same problem with the dummy. ds willingly throws it away but then takes hours to fall asleep and then wakes in the night. Me being soft, i go get him another just so we can all get back to sleep. The worst of it is HE'S FIVE! HELP!

suedonim · 24/02/2004 14:32

I'm being an evil mummy, trying to break 7yo dd's thumb sucking habit with horrid nasty- tasting nail biter's liquid. There's no doubt about it, dd sleeps much less than when she thumb sucks. She's later to sleep and earlier waking. I have to keep the liquid on her nails all the time. Even after 6 weeks or so, if it wears off, she goes back to her thumb.

PipBeckett · 25/02/2004 11:52

Hello,

I tried the age old trick of sending the dummys to Father Christmas. But they went the night before Christmas Eve so he had enough time to make them into toys before Christmas Day. He was 3.5 and he put them all in a tub under the Christmas tree and the next morning they were gone and Father Christmas had left him an early present. We never looked back and I have no idea how it worked. I think your child just has to be ready and able to accept it.

My child had behavioural issues, (still does to some extent) and the dummy was an instant calmer. Almost like giving a sedative. I was reluctant to give that up but it was done and he slept better because he wasn't waking in the night looking for it. The calmer was replaced by a cuddle on mummy or granny's knee and a soft cushion for him to touch. He's five now and at school. When he get's angry he goes and sits by the teacher and softly strokes her dress to calm him down. So it can be done even with difficult children.

But I take on board something the child phycologist said to me. One of only two helpful things. He said pick your fights well. If you're not in the right frame of mine and you'll give in after ten minute or half an hour, don't even start.

Good luck!

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