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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

attitude!!!!

7 replies

cleaninglady · 05/07/2006 19:03

can any offer suggestions on how to deal with 4 1/2 year old dd whose attitude seems to be getting worse ! get the hands on hips, cross words and total disregard for anything i say mostly! hoping full time school will help and i do positve praise when she asks nicely/behaves well but 1,2,3 and consequence when not but still not really getting anywhere!

OP posts:

stoppinattwo · 05/07/2006 19:09

OMG i know where your coming from. DD flounces and exits a room like a true diva. and just incase you didnt get it the first time she'll do it again. My DD is also 4 1/2. maybe they should meet up n compare notes. HV said just keep rienforcing good stuff and totally ignoring the not so good stuff

Original poster

cleaninglady · 05/07/2006 19:34

so should i ignore stroppy and cheeky comments and being rude to me do you think?? had considered that rather than the constant battle pulling her up everytime she "cheeks" me??

might save my voice and the repetitive comments coming out of me !!

dont think they should compare notes - then might actually learn more tactics and then where would we be!!

OP posts:

stoppinattwo · 05/07/2006 19:57

when DD starts I just tell her I dont like the way she is speaking to me and to apologise. If she doesnt she is left alone to ponder (my way of ignoring bad behavior) It is taking a while but i think it will be worth it. They are only testing their emotions/boundaries etc, you dont want to break their characters but there is a time and a place. Sometimes i can deal with it other times i dont deal so well and i just put her in her room.Im sure school will change a lot of her behaviour........ she is soo ready to go.

Long uphill battle cleaning lady but just keep going. she sounds a strong willed girl which in later life will be a bonus, its just at the moment it seems to label them as hard work. Keep on going.

mine is currently upstairs shouting down how stupid i am because its time for her to go to bed

nicnack2 · 05/07/2006 20:14

it is all very well in saying ignore bad behaviour etc, but is this not reinforcing to child that you can behave badly, and be rude but there really is no ramification to it. Dont get me wrong i have to do with ds2, in his room/naughty step etc. trouble is when they get to school the poor teachers arent allowed to do anything except log them, and what does that do not alot i can tell you.
I have just gone through 4 years of secondary school with a step- teenager who thinks its fine to swear at teachers and be aggressive because he knows that there is nothing anyone not even his father can do about it.

Sorry rant over

Original poster

cleaninglady · 05/07/2006 20:24

I do get confused over the ignore the bad and re inforce the good issue but S@2 sounds more like the way to deal with it where she is told to stop and apologise. the strong willed comment is a complete understatement - i cannot beleive a 4 year old is so divaish!! NN2 confirms my concern about not saying anything at all!!

OP posts:

stoppinattwo · 05/07/2006 20:38

NN2 I think teenagers are a whole different ball game. I have three Dss's now 18, 18 and 23. The twins were a complete nightmare. They were constantly trying for the upper hand and trying to shock with their choice of language. they would front teachers face to face and are such big lads you couldnt physically stop them (unless they had no clothes heh heh heh)Have emptied wardrobes b4 now

I would warn them if they took the mickey I would treat them like babies and i didnt care who was there to watch. Ive walked into parties at 2am and hauled them out (they were 16)

I think as parents we have to keep talking to the teachers and supporting them. so often now parents jump to their childs defence undermining the teacher and leaving them wide open to more grief. A lot of trouble stopped ones DSS's knew that school had my moblie number and i would walk into any lesson they were misbehaving in and make a complete show of them infront of their mates. Never had to actually do it the threat was enough they knew id done it in enough other places so school was no different. I didnt know of any other way to deal with them I had only known them since they were 7 and hadnt had too much opportunity to lay the foundations. They have turned out ok now tho and we often laugh about their antics any my ability to find them wherever they tried to hide

nicnack2 · 06/07/2006 15:02

stopingattwo. i have also done the walking into school infact i oversaw his dentention once. hardest he has worked. . i am always one step ahead of him in his antics unfortunately dh doesnt see this. Think that is more because i am not emotionally attached to him and i wsnt a saint either, But i cannot abide children being so disrespectful to teachers etc.

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