My 7 Year old acts like hes 2 Help I dont know what to do anymore:(

[Momoffourboysomg]

Hi, I joined this group because I dont know what else to do. My son is the second oldest of four kids, hes going to be turning seven in about a month and a half and He still acts like hes 2 years old. The doctor tells me this is normal but Its not to me, He wets the bed every night, I dont ever remember a day in which he did not wet the bed, He chews everything as if hes teething all day, his shirt, stuffed animals, hats, pilliows anything in his reach thats near him he chews. I caught him chewing on a pilllow in the back of the car today on the way to the grocery store. He throws full blown 2-3 year old temper tantrums for the stupidest of things. Hes constantly fighting with my 2 &3 year old kids as if he were there age. He sits there and lets my 2 year old get into something hes not suppose to instead of stopping him which he has the ability to, his total lack of common sense is as if he was 2 years old, but then there are times that I talk to him and hes as if hes a normal smart soon to be seven year old, hes great in school almost reading already in first grade, does great on homework and assignments in class, but at home its like hes never grown past the age of 2, ever. Some background i was married to his father years ago and when he was about 8 months we divorced, so my older son whos ten and him are with my ex husband and my 2 &3 year old are by my current fiance who has been with me and living with me for over 5 years. Nothing new has occured and my fiance treats them and does stuff with them better and more than their father, but their dad is also very active in their lives. I dont know what to do but something is telling me that this isnt right, if this was a phase it should have been outgrown by now. Im getting so frustrated im calling him stupid and names and I hate myself for it but I dont know what else to do, I know what I am doing now is totally not right and wrong so please dont attack me, Ive been hitting every mother/parent group on the web I can find, hoping someone has dealt with this and found out what causes it and how to fix it, if he has some sort of mental problem at least I know what it is and can treat it and learn to cope with it, Im loosing my mind Please someone give me some answers here.

Hmm I'm not sure it's fair to expect him to watch your little kids tbh.

I have a son the same age and I have to say that he, and a lot of his friends, are very tantrummy stroppy and get worked up and very upset over next to nothing. There's a testosterone surge around this age too.

Wetting the bed isn't that uncommon at this age, my ds has never been dry but has been referred to a eneursis clinic - maybe that's an option to look into? I'm guessing you aren't in the UK but here we'd ask our GP or school nurse for a referral.

The chewing thing is probably just a habit and he's also probably losing teeth?

I don't think he sounds all that unusual tbh

Might be worth having a chat with his teacher about any behavioural issues they can see? The fact that he's doing okay with reading etc doesn't rule out other problems. Maybe make a really clear bullet-pointed list of what you have posted, including the chewing and bed wetting, and show it to the teacher.

List anything else you can think of, even if it doesn't seem related. Might also be worth seeing a different GP and showing the list to them - not all GPs are terribly clued up on children's behaviour.

The chewing could be related to a sensory problem - if you google 'sensory processing disorder' you can read up about it. There's a checklist here - might be useful to see if you can spot a theme.

Good luck

Wetting the bed is to do with your body producing enough of a certain hormone to concentrate it enough - he cannot control that at all.

The other issues sounds like sensory issues - can you google "neuro development delay" and "retained reflexes" and see what they bring up for your state/area as I only know about UK sites although this was first researched in the states over 50 years ago.

Has he regressed or has he never moved past the stage hes at now?
It's not uncommon at all for primary school children to wear absorbent night pants I would not be worried by this.
With regards to the immature tantrum/ babyish ways is it possible he could be craving the attention your real toddlers get?
I used to look after a 4 year old who would sit in her baby sisters high chair for brekki, it was just a passing phase and pretty natural for a child with a younger sibling.

Information about what I'm talking about here - although not in the USA

The chewing everything is retained rooting reflex - babies are born with it and for some reason he's not get grown out of it and should have. Late bedwetting is linked to another of the reflexes too.

This is nothing to be alarmed about it's more that treatment would help him immensley and effectively "cure" him, it just helps the reflexes develop into where they should be now rather than being "stuck" where they currently are. Poor health or a stressful pregnancy often influences this sort of thing. My dds really benefitted from treatment even though they didn't have any of the difficulties that often have driven people to seek help - one of mine just didn't need to sleep - this was retained moro reflex, the startle one which means they have too much adrenalin, came as no surprise to discover that this kind of thing is often hereditary too - very definately has her issues from me, rubbish co-ordination and non-sleeping LOL - the difference in her was amazing and happened quickly too!!!

Some general information about reflexes as stuff:
learningdiscoveries.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Neurodevelopmental-Therapy-Inhibition-of-Primitive-Reflexes.pdf

This page has a link to a questionnaire would be interesting to see how many you say yes to:
www.timeforachange.ie/neurodevelopmentaltherapy.html

Hello momof4boys. I also have 4 boys .

It sounds like you are under a lot of stress over your DS behaviour, and I think that is perfectly understandable. For his benefit, but also to help the whole family run smoothly, I think you need to start asking some questions (his teachers, his doctor), because I'd he has any issues, now is the time to explore those, perhaps get a diagnosis (if appropriate), and maybe get advice about strategies to help him with his development (if thats appropriate).

One of my DS has a diagnosis of Aspergers, and much of what you are saying about your DS rings a bell - he is a very bright boy doing well at school but is years behind in other ways (he's 16, but at 7 he was like your DS). I'm not saying he HAS Aspergers but I think it's worth looking into, because he MIGHT have.

But in any case, I think you should seek advice about the bed wetting as he's old enough now to be well outside the range of "typical"... That doesn't mean that there is anything wrong, that he can't be dry at night, but maybe he needs a bit of help to dry (bed wetting alarms for example).

I hope you find the solutions you need. Good luck .