Toddler hurts herself

[AntoinetteCosway]

DD is 2 (just) and when she gets frustrated she sometimes will try and pinch me or DH, or pull our hair. We obviously say no, don't do that and she'll immediately do it to herself instead. We tell her not to and she stops (quickly) but it's really worrying me. It's not a regular thing but even occasionally it is horrible. I know it isn't the same thing as self-harm done by an adult but I don't want her to equate feeling out of control with hurting herself. After all, she is a toddler and frequently out of control!

Any ideas on how to stop her doing it apart from gently moving her hands away and saying no, don't hurt yourself DD? I want her to know it's serious but I'm reluctant to shout, especially as when she does it she's already in a tizz about something.

My dd is 18 months so a bit younger then yours but she has taken to hitting herself on the head, often with whatever random object is to hand, when her desires are frustrated. It can be really distressing but she is not really going to do herself any harm and the more we react to it the worse it gets. We now just attempt to look unimpressed and tell her she will only hurt herself. Since we started doing this instead of getting in a tiz or reacting too much to it she has started doing it less and less.

Once she has calmed down we'll have lots of cuddles and talk to her about what happened.

I think they all do it (or a lot of them do anyway!) Our DS1 used to hit himself when he was frustrated. We just had to ignore it I'm afraid, the more we told him to stop or tried to distract him the more he did it or he would hit us. He did learn that it got him no reaction and he stopped. Also as his language and understanding improved his frustration went away anyway. He's 6 now and I promise you he isn't still hurting himself so it doesn't mean she will turn to self harming when she's older or anything like that. It's just frustration.

My DS2 is 22 months and gets so annoyed (sometimes I have no idea why or what has frustrated him) but he'll start to hit himself or bite his own arm, not hard enough to leave a mark but he does it and then checks for our reaction. I do the same as I did with DS1 and just ignore him, literally give him no eye contact or any interaction at all until he's stopped. Then I tell him he's too sweet to hurt himself and well done for calming down then carry on with our day! I don't know how else to deal with it but it seems to be working.

Just wanted to reassure you that it's not unusual toddler behaviour and she will stop when she's less annoyed with the world (which is a pretty frustrating place for a toddler!)

Thanks for the replies-it's good to know it's not unusual. It's pretty horrible to watch, isn't it! I'll try ignoring and hopefully the lack of reaction will stop her.