Is this normal?

[LJsmum]

My son will be turning 4 in July. Up until recently, he has been fairly placid & good natured when playing with other children, eg sharing toys, allowing other children to use his things, etc.

Over the last month or so, I've noticed that he seems a bit more 'aggressive' when playing with other children. For instance, his two little cousins came over to play last weekend, and he wouldn't let them play with his toys, even though he wasn't using them at the time - he even pushed his younger cousin away when she tried to touch one of his toys and got a bit aggravated about it. A few months ago he wouldn't have cared less if someone played with his stuff.

Also at an indoor playground yesterday, ds was playing on a wooden train (big enough for a couple of kids to play on) and when some other children came and climbed on it, he yelled at them, "Go away, it's mine!!!!" He seemed really agitated about it and wasn't satisfied until they jumped off and went away. I walked straight up to him and told him that it wasn't his train, that it belonged to the playground and he had to share it with the other children. He's been doing this a lot lately but I just don't know if it's normal (for his age) to be like this. I keep reinforcing to him that he has to 'play nicely' with other kids and share things with them.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? I guess I'm just concerned about him becoming a bit of a bully, or am I worrying too much? Thanks.

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At his age its normal. My friend's dd who is 7 is really bad for this but developmentally she is 3. (it's very clearly a 3 year old thing iyswim) I wouldn't worry too much or go too overboard. Praise him for sharing, and just reinforce that he has to share. If he has a couple of special toys that he doesn't want to share then remind him to hide those out of reach before playdates.

Thanks for your replies. The thing that concerns me though, I guess, is that I thought when he went to kindergarten he would naturally do what the teachers wanted him to and follow along with the other children. He's been ok but one of the teachers told me that he doesn't always do what she says, and that she thinks he is quite strong-willed. I would've thought that most kids of this age are reasonably strong-willed, but the teacher told me that most kids usually follow what the others are doing and tend to do what the teachers tell them to do. It seems that ds has been a little defiant at times with her and I'm not really sure whether this is something to be concerned about.

I've spoken to ds about this and have told him that he must do what he is told, and I think it's getting through to him - I'm just a bit concerned that he has shown this very 'stubborn' side, even at kindergarten. Is it something I just have to keep working on?

Don't worry abut being strong willed! My friend has 2 strong willed children (mine are pretty stubborn as well). Her dd is autistic and her ds isn't. However her ds can be just as stubborn as her dd, and nursery found him quite hard work to begin with (he's lovely though- really lovely). Now he knows the ropes he's fine- and there's nothing remotely wrong with him.

Strong willed is good. Personally I much prefer strong willed children- they're more fun