With Holding Poo HELP!

[Kodit]

Hi all,

My wife and I have an issue with our (almost) 4 year old boy. It is nothing short of a nightmare. He withholds his poo and has done since he was 2, maybe before. We had him on various doses of movicol for the last 18 months or so, but all that seems to do is make his poo like diarrhea and impossible to clean from his bum, making him sore, and making him want to poo less and less.

We are now giving him 5ml of lactilose every day, we have only just started this, but basically he withholds his poo, has to let little bits leak out and this makes his bum sore, by the end of the day he has tensed up, and will not let us change him for anything. Nothing seems to work, we tried the 'poo goes to pooland' story but I think he is now kind of scared of the loo because of the idea he could get flushed down it. Potty training is so far away from our minds at the moment, my wife wants to get to the point where he is passing solid poos into his nappy before we start thinking about potty training, but I am not sure we will ever get to that stage.

Frankly, the doctors we have seen have all been next to useless with this problem, up until seeing threads online about this, I thought this condition was really uncommon. It's reassuring to know we're not alone with this, but we're both at the end of our tether's and would welcome any advice from anyone who has had/is having a similar experience.

not really had same experience but my eldest dd was scared to poo in toilet but did a wee fine. I think it was the feeling of it. my DM made a reward chart hand painted of a flower with five leaves on. for every successful poo in potty/toilet she got to stick a ladybird on a leaf. when the flower was full she got a prize from a bag (cheap little things from local discount type shop). so could you do something similar? with something you ds really likes?

Hi- my advice is to potty train him ASAP.
My two year old was constipated from 6 months, probably due to weaning. However, I think that he started to withhold his poo because it hurt to go- either due to being sore or it was too hard( sorry for being detailed!).

He was put on movicol too but I truly believe toilet training ( didn't use a potty with either kids) made the difference. It took some time (months) for him to learn it doesn't hurt anymore but we are finally there.

Good luck!

I have poo with holding DD. She's 5. It's a bloody nightmare isn't it. It took 2 years to get a proper diagnosis and we're only now really getting to grips with the behavioural issues.

Our DD toilet trained just before she turned 3.

I would have a go at toilet training. There will be mess but you can start to introduce routines which will help.

These include a regular sitting on toilet regime. Blowing bubbles or a rubber glove when sitting helps with poos. Also reading to them while they sit. Our DD loves drawing so we have pens and paper beside the loo. Means she is distracted so poo more likely to appear.

Check out the ERIC website and purchase Anthony Cohn's book, Constipation, Withholding and Your Child: A Family Guide to Soiling and Wetting. We found this book really helpful.

Good luck.

Forgot to say. With withholders you want the poo to be softer than a 'normal' poo. Makes it easier to pass.

I was going to recommend the ERIC website too

DD has issues that make her unable to go to uh3 toilet at times. We have to re-teach her periodically how to empty her bowels.

We now give a daily dose of movicol to keep her poo soft, any sign of straining can set her back and revert to holding again.

Just want to say that we have been where you are now and I completely understand what you're going through. Our daughter withheld her poo for about a year from the age of 2 until she was just after her third birthday. It started from her becoming constipated and passing a hard, painful stool and from that point on she was too scared to poo. We saw several doctors who were of no help at all, suggesting changes to her diet and giving her small amounts of lactulose, neither of which made any difference. She already had a good diet full of fruit and veg and the lactulose just didn't work. We gave her a suppository once but it was too distressing for her to try it again.

She was absolutely determined not to go and she could hold it in for days, becoming increasingly miserably, until eventually she would run around crying for hours before finally passing a stool. It was really hard for the whole family and affected all aspects for our lives for many, many months.

We have a whole library of books about poo withholding, the best being Anthony Cohn's, and I did tons of research on the internet. The only thing that worked for us eventally was Movicol combined with a reward chart. We don't live in the UK and Movicol's not available here so I had to order it from Amazon, the paediatric version is prescription only so we used 1/2 sachets of the adult version, disguising it in warm milk. We solved the problem within weeks and I can't recommend Movicol strongly enough. It honestly changed our lives! She also loved chosing a sticker every time she did a poo and watching her chart full up.

I hope you manage to find a solution that works for you soon. I thought we were going to have this ongoing problem for years and was amazed at how quickly it resolved with Movicol.

Hi Kodit
I would recommend the ERIC website too, they also have a phone number that you can ring and speak to someone. Or son is 4 & although clean still has problems keeping dry. I'm finding toilet training the most frustrating part of parenting. Goodluck with your ds.

My dd (4) has just been referred to our local childhood uncontinance specialist because of poo withholding. We had a really great consultation for an hour with this lady and have a follow up in a weeks time.

She also withholds poo and had become blocked up hence the seepages into her pants which she genuinely doesn't feel happening sometimes. The lady gave us lots of advice and tips including three jars of marbles for different sized marbles which are rewarded for separate achievements for example, she gets a medium sized marble in the jar for telling me she needs a poo ("Mr Poo is knocking on the door and wants to come out!"). She then gets a lolly pop when the little jar is full of marbles.

Another tip was to download an app or game onto a smartphone/tablet which they are only allowed to play with when sitting on the loo. This has been fantastically helpful and successful and dd is often so desperate to play the 'Room on the Broom' game on my iPhone that she can squeeze one out (easier on movicol!). I must also put her on the toilet after every meal for at least 4 mins (a min for each year) to try and get her in a routine.

It will get better, hang in there. I have been quite desperate, especially as Dd is now at school and her two year old brother is dry day and night! I guess it just takes some little ones longer than others. Good luck!

Glycerin suppositories were key for us in dealing with our withholding DS. It was an issue from 6 months to 2.5 years. We'd got a grip on it when he was in nappies, using a suppository every three days if he hadn't been. We started off with lactulose too, but gradually stopped using it over the first year or so as it didn't seem to make much difference. By the time we got to potty training we were only needing to give a suppository once a month or so.

He started withholding again when we potty trained but we started the suppositories again, and he preferred using the toilet for poos than the potty. Within a couple of weeks we had cracked it and it hasn't been a problem since.