Laughing when being told off

[pyjamaramadrama]

There are 3 or 4 issues with my 5 year old ds that I'm at the end of my tether about and need to address. But I would like to know if they are typical of a child this age.

Firstly just to say he's a nice little boy, very kind especially with other children, he's not having any problems at school, it's not as though I dread taking him out, he behaves very well in restaurants and at parties etc.

But there are a few things that are driving me insane and I'm just not too sure how to tackle them.

I'll start off with what happens when we go to the shops. Ds has no fear at all of losing me, I DO keep my eye on him, and even make him hold my hand sometimes, but the second I turn my back to pick something up he will get distracted and think nothing of wandering out of sight. I have told him off, eye level in the shops, I've spoken to him about safety and the reasons why he must stay where I can see him. But within 5 minutes he's at it again.

This leads me on to road sense, this is probably my fault, we go nearly everywhere in the car, as his school is over a mile away we also drive to school, so he hasn't had much practise, but again we has had some, and I'm constantly telling and reminding him, even in car parks about road safety. Yet still he cannot be trusted and on Saturday ran across a luckily very quiet road to the car.

Onto today, I had a feeling that he was coming down with something as his behaviour wasn't the best at the weekend and he seemed so tired. Now going back about a year ago he had diarrhea, it was quite bad and he kept pooing a little bit by accident, everytime he farted he must have been worried that he'd pooed himself so was checking his boxers constantly. He's got a bit of diarrhea again now and this morning it had happened again, however as I was in the shower I didn't know, and instead of coming and telling me, he'd changed his boxers, got a bit of poo on his finger and wiped it on the wall. I think this was a one off, I don't think he'd dream of doing anything like that under normal circumstances.

I've asked him why he did that and why he didn't tell me he;d had an accident, and he just says he didn't think and sat there smirking. I've explained why he can't do that and that he should have told me so that I could help. We've had endless discussions about germs, I'm constantly reminding him about washing his hands after using the toilet, we've books on hand washing, I don't know what made him think it was ok.

I just don't think he gets it, all of it. And I'm not too sure how worried I should be about these things.

When I tell him off and talk to him he smirks and tries to hold his face to stop himself from laughing. I don't know if this is a nervous laugh or a sign that he just doesn't give two hoots about what I'm saying.

It really, really winds me up that he laughs when I am telling him off, it takes the focus off what I am trying to speak to him about.

I wouldn't worry to much as most of it his age, and all the above will change with age.

My 7 yo smiles or laughs when I tell him off, but I know that he just trying to lighten the mood. I try not to shout, but tell him why I am upset this has a different reaction from him.

Boys are disgusting, and it takes them a little while longer to understand germs etc... He seems very mature for a 5yo to try and sort himself out over his accident!! Even if he did the wrong thing, he did try and do it by himself. Which shows mature above his age, just try and talk through what you rather happened in this situation.

Regarding cars, road and wandering off. It is scary. Can you do role plays, of what you expect him to do and a quick reward. Ie if you stay with me while I shop and you don't lose me you get a reward! (Easy payoff sweet, extra 10 minutes to stay up) and then praise, praise!! Same with car and roads! My boys alway seem to respond better to payoffs and praise rather than anything else.

Hope this helps!!

The smirking is not out of mirth or joy. I used to do this as a kid and it's caused by feeling very uncomfortable by the emotionally charged situation. A bit like a nervous laugh. He isn't being disrespectful to your telling off.

I used do this as a kid (and get a worse telling off for it) but I really couldn't help it and I was NOT enjoying the experience.

I once remember getting a massive walloping from my dad and all I could do was laugh, which made him madder. In fact I was laughing because I was scared and couldn't stop.

Thank you for replies, helps me put things into perspective and hadn't thought about it that way regarding his toilet accident.

I will try to ignore the smirking when he being told off, I do not think he does it on purpose as he puts his hand over his mouth to try to stop himself.

We did do some role play this week on shops and roads. We played with his shop toys pretending the bedrooms were aisles and how when he wanders off I cannot see him, talked about him staying by me and asking if he wants to look at something so that we can look together.