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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

2 year old suddenly screaming for me between 3-4am

17 replies

CrazyAlien06 · 19/10/2013 04:24

Hi my two year old has suddenly begun screaming for me between 3-4am. She a never done this before. She's been a bad sleeper from day one but just loud and has always settled when going to bed etc.
First night I went in as thought she may need me. She settled then started again then settled herself then started again.

Last night she did it and it went on for 20 mins , I ignored her and went in to Check her and she was naked in her cot asleep with all her duvet etc next to her cot.

Tonight it started 30 mins ago and i haven't gone in yet. She's just calling for me then it goes quiet then she starts again.
I am physically and mentally ruined from the sleep deprivation
I really want another child but other half won't because of this ones terrible sleep.

Any tips would be greatly received.

OP posts:

FadBook · 19/10/2013 04:30

Has she been screaming for 30 minutes?

I'd go in to her.

Could be molar teething, night terrors, shadows on the wall scaring her - she might just want a cuddle.

Dd (26 months) has just started doing this. She only slept through from 18 months anyway, with still early waking etc, now we've gone backwards. So I feel you pain re: sleep deprivation

Could be whole host of reasons but I wouldn't let her cry for longer than a few minutes, especially if its outside her normal sleep pattern.

rootypig · 19/10/2013 04:30

I don't know how helpful this is, but I would never leave my child to cry or call for me for thirty minutes - though after 11 months of broken sleep with DD I do know what it feels like to be on the brink of your sanity, so I feel for you.

Have you ruled out the obvious - hunger, too hot or cold (room ideally about 18 degrees), any pain? When you say she's been a bad sleeper from day 1, what do you mean? has she previously slept through the night?

ipswichwitch · 19/10/2013 04:36

DS has been doing this (crappy sleeper too), and we think its night terrors. He seems genuinely scared and clings on to us when we go in . Some nights he won't be put down so we just bring him to bed with us.

We always seem to just get to a point where he sleeps through finally/ only wakes once then something else comes along like teething/illness and now night terrors so I can totally relate to the sleep deprivation. We decided to just go ahead for DC2 (now 32 weeks pregnant) since we were so used to lack of sleep why not just carry on a bit longer!

FadBook · 19/10/2013 04:53

I can relate to that ipswich Dd was just starting to get better at night last month with not waking as early (4.30/5am get ups) and now she's playing up at bedtime and now waking in the middle of the night too 1am and 3am this morning. And now I can't get back to sleep!

I keep chanting to DP - this too shall pass, this too shall pass

Original poster

CrazyAlien06 · 19/10/2013 04:53

She doesn't cry for the whole time. She just shouts for me then whinges , goes silent then whinges etc. I wld never put her in danger
She's not in pain as I recognise her cries.
I went into her and she d taken her pj top off and thrown her dummy and comforter out.
She hadn't managed to escape the onesie I got her yday.
I think her molars are already through from what I could see.

No chance of shadows, no room temp gauge as I know if it's too hot/cold now and never needed it.
I won't bring her in in me as I don't want to start her expecting that every night as it's not safe as hubby is massive and is quite a active sleeper!

Bad sleeper from day 1-slept through about 25 times in her life. Very loud, grizzly, whiney but mostly asleep.
As for DC2 no chance DH would agree. Our life has been so hard for last two years. She's a superstar during the day and nights just noisy so I wake up to her or now this episode.her sleeping is so inconsistent.

Last week she slept through without a peep for two nights and now this

OP posts:

CoolaSchmoola · 19/10/2013 04:54

My 2 year old does this between 12-1. It's night terrors with her and she is completely distraught, terrified and clings on to me so so tight when I go in, and I only give her a minute or so.

I'm sorry but leaving a distressed child screaming for you for thirty minutes is horrific. They are two, they are distressed to the point of screaming, why on earth are you leaving them so long?

I get just how soul destroyingly knackering sleep deprivation is, I'm on my own with my toddler, but I am shocked and appalled that you are leaving them in distress for half an hour.
g on the impact of not going to a distressed child

Original poster

CrazyAlien06 · 19/10/2013 04:55

FadBook I would love early wake ups rather than disturbed sleep

OP posts:

rootypig · 19/10/2013 04:56

That sounds awful crazy. No more advice but

Original poster

CrazyAlien06 · 19/10/2013 04:59

Thanks rootypig :)
She's sound asleep now and I can't sleep ;(

OP posts:

FadBook · 19/10/2013 04:59

She won't expect co sleeping every night. If this is different to her regular sleep pattern then she's scared probably - night terrors are very common at this age.

I've cuddled dd back to sleep tonight. I don't want to get into any habits doing this either but I do want her to feel she can call me when she wakes up.

I know it'll pass (this too shall pass, this too shall pass) next week. Perhaps see it as a one off phase rather than creating habits?

FadBook · 19/10/2013 05:00

Early wake ups are a killer too

I think any sleep that's less than 8 hours is though

Original poster

CrazyAlien06 · 19/10/2013 05:05

CoolaSchmoola - she is not distressed! There are no teara and her cry/whinging is not one of her being in pain /distressed. She doesn't need a cuddle or reassurance and will eventually self settle.

I would never leave her distressed for that long and offended someone would think that of a mother.

She's a perfect little girl and is often complimented on her happiness and contented outlook on life so I am not causing her any problems by not pandering to her every grizzle at night. She knows I'm always here and is a very balanced child

If she really was in pain she would cry a different cry and shed tears.
I

OP posts:

Original poster

CrazyAlien06 · 19/10/2013 05:05

Ha yes FadBook I agree!
Ah kids hey? :-)

OP posts:

rootypig · 19/10/2013 05:22

I would never leave her distressed for that long and offended someone would think that of a mother.

I would be too if someone suggested it too, but there are enough who do it to need to rule it out!

MiaowTheCat · 19/10/2013 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoolaSchmoola · 19/10/2013 18:02

Your first post, which was the one I responded to, said 'has started screaming for me'....

I have now seen that all your other posts refer to her 'shouting' for you. There is a world of difference between the two - screaming is the word used to define crying out in severe pain or fear. Had you said shouting in your first post I would have responded differently.

As for finding it offensive that I would accuse a 'mother' of that, sorry but there are huge amounts of 'mothers' who would do it without a second thought. You might not be one of them but if you don't think 'mothers' do such things you are very naive. There are scary numbers of women who do.

chattychattyboomba · 20/10/2013 21:23

Dd 2.5 does this. She usually has had a bad dream and get out of bed in a daze. As it's dark she often stands in a corner crying ( I assume not knowing where she is). We always go to her, give her a cuddle and put her back to bed. It's just a stage and will be over soon. Just cuddles and reassurance is all I can say.

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