4yo DS seems to be living on thin air!

[Kveta]

DS just turned 4, and his food consumption seems to be getting less and less all the time. He was a pretty good eater from weaning onwards (baby led, and extended bf until he was 3), and we have always eaten together as a family, DH works from home most days, so joins us for dinner too.

Anyway, over the past 6 months or so his appetite seems to have disappeared. He used to eat anything, then it was anything sweet, and now it's the odd slice of toast, banana, and beaker of milk. He used to devour anything cake-like, but now won't even eat cake - but will happily pick icing off (or at least did with his birthday cake!).

He seems happiest to eat stuff from packets, and would consume vast quantities of crisps (but only from packets - won't touch them if decanted into a bowl), sweets (not fussed where they come from), and bloody fruit shoots (he had one in June, and now asks for them daily - think he has had a few since then, but maximum of 6 or so, not a frequent event!). He also drinks a beaker of milk with breakfast, and apparently has another one at nursery school - they say he will often try, if not finish, a slice of fruit at snack time too.

I am getting a bit fed up with it - have been doing the whole 'a healthy child won't starve themself' thing, and also not letting him have his dessert (fromage frais or yoghurt or fruit) unless he has at least tried his main course. Normally he just gets to the table, says 'I don't eat that' and is then told 'fine, eat it if you want, or stay hungry' - I refuse to pander to his bloody whims tbh!

This morning he was really sick because he has a nasty cough (I get the same with colds), so brought up his breakfast milk, and then we only let him have ribena until a slice of plain toast for lunch - and he was ravenous all day, asking for food. Gave him a baked potato with cheese and grated carrot for dinner, and he went 'Oh, I don't eat carrots or potatoes today'. I managed not to strangle him, and just said 'ok, eat the cheese, then off to bed' and ignored his continued complaints that he doesn't eat potatoes or carrot. He ate the lot...

Anyhow, the real problem is, he is absolutely vanishing away. We can count all his ribs in the bath, and his spine is really knobbly - his shoulder blades are crazy too, and his arms and legs are getting all spindly. We are actually worrying now. I plan to go to the HV next week, but wondered if anyone has any advice? (FWIW, he was tested for type 1 diabetes earlier in the year and was fine, but I have some pee sticks to test for glucose again, and may do it tomorrow -but over the summer he was the picture of health apart from being a bit thin).

anyone?

If you're worried about him (which understandably sounds like you are beginning to be) then I agree, doctor or HV is a sensible route.

It does sound a bit like it might be a control thing. Have you tried giving him choices "would you like x or y" rather than "what would you like" choices?

My dd (5) goes through phases of living on nothing. She's gradually getting better. I find small portions help, if she sees too much food in front of her she won't eat anything. Could that be similar?

Or things he can put together himself/ help make?

thanks Pylon - he does have small portions (same size as 16 month old DD - but she finishes hers!), and we have learnt from experience that if given the option to choose his own food means he eats nothing! If we put e.g. peas on his plate, he might eat them - but if he sees us put them on the plate, or is allowed to help himself, he refuses them!

I suspect he'll grow out of it, but you know how you can get worried sometimes!

Yes, you have my sympathy, it can be a worry (and v frustrating). HV/doctor might suggest vitamin supplements or something just as a boost. I was always told to look at their diets on a weekly/fortnightly basis to assess whether they are getting enough. It allows you to step back a bit to analyse.
From what you say though, it does sound like its because he can control it. Not unusual and generally they grow out of it. My ds2 was a bit like that too, and now aged 8 he's eating every second of the day if he can! Wish he'd stop sometimes...
Good luck!

My ds was a nightmare at eating for so long, I really sympathise.
Feeling furious at mealtimes is exhausting too.

One of the most successful things we tried was giving him his dinner, and saying he wasn't allowed to eat x in a mock stern voice.
"don't you eat that piece of broccoli ds or there will be great big trouble!"
X would mostly be eaten as we all made a big show of chatting normally with a "I do hope ds isn't eating his broccoli" thrown in.
When we saw x had gone from his plate there would then be another big show of "but where is x?! Ds can't have eaten it because he's not allowed, maybe it's in his sock/up his sleeve/insert other silly easily searchable place here"
Cue much hilarity and it starts again.

He used to eat like the proverbial sparrow, and at 6yrs old, I watched him devour a huge chicken kiev, chips and salad tea this evening.

Good luck op.

My dd is a little like this. Her db eats a full English, enormous lunch at school, full roast dinner with pudding. We all eat together. Ds enjoys cooking and new things, oysters etc.

Dd, is a total contrast. Not hungry in the mornings. Nibbles at lunch, and picks at her dinner. Doesn't like meat, and never has. No interest in cooking. Will make cakes but won't eat them.

They don't get sweets or biscuits, soft drinks, juice, anything that might fill up their tummy. No milk before eating. It sounds joyless - but its not. They have these things at parties, not as treats.

I make breakfast, she sits down with ds, and might pick at a boiled egg with soldiers or an omelette. There is no tv whilst eating and if you won't sit at the table, you go in your bedroom. No hanging round playing.

No snacks- but, they help menu choose and slowly dd is eating better, but I have to keep on top of it. She likes ice cream so she serves herself at meal times and if she eats it, she can have some.

I would take your ds to the doctors, and have him checked before you do anything like the above and end up feeling guilty.