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Behaviour/development

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2 year old won't let us speak

4 replies

anothercup · 18/10/2013 19:02

Hi all,

My 2.5 year old daughter is really possessive of me and of my attention and will not allow her dad to talk to me, or play with her, when he comes home from work.
Her and I are together all day, every day. We get out and about a lot, spend most of our time out in fact as she's a very attention-demanding child and wants me to be fully involved in her life almost all the time. There are odd spells when she'll wander off and do something by herself in the flat, but due to her not quite having learnt how to play alone yet we'd rather be out, in the park or meeting friends, the usual mum and tot daily activities. So she's stimulated and active, interacts with other children and mums, no problems in this sense.
But the moment it's her, her dad and me she gets really nervous. He tries playing with her in the flat but it never works for longer than 5 min. Then she comes running through to ask for a feed (she still breastfeeds) or a cuddle or a story. I find it exhausting as it means I never get a break from her unless her dad takes her out (and she always has a tantrum, crying her heart out saying "I want mama!!" when this happens, it's never, ever easy.) Also, my partner and I are never able to talk, even basic "How was your day?" talk, without our daughter interrupting and telling us not to speak, or asking me to do stuff with her.
Does anyone have similar experiences with their toddlers? And how do you get a child that age to understand they're loved and cared for, even if our attention isn't on them 100% of the time?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ICameOnTheJitney · 18/10/2013 19:17

You simply have to ignore them a bit. Smile She knows you cave in...so she keeps on. She's only tiny still so it's ok...but when you want to speak to another adult, you need to be firm unless it's a situation she needs help with asap such as toilet or injury....just remain firm and vague while you have you converstion with DH....it's ok now as she's so small but in a year or so, it will be most unacceptable socially....

Cataline · 18/10/2013 19:21

What Jitney said! Grin

Mim78 · 20/10/2013 19:40

They are right. We had this a bit with dd. the only other thing that seemed to help was getting her to spend more time with her dad so that she got used to him as a carer. It is hard though as you are the one with her all day. Need to ignore her to speak to each other though. Is she going to go to pre school any time soon? That might help too as her life won't be all about you. X

hotbot · 20/10/2013 20:05

Agree with all posters, maybe dad and her can do breakfast together, maybe bring you toast in bed?
Win win

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