DS started school in Sept & occasionally kicks others at playtime, help needed!

[mrsnightingale]

Hi all

My DS was 5 in September and started school a couple of weeks after so he's the eldest in the year. He was clearly ready for it, he is doing really well with all the new things he's learning & we're so proud at the progress he's making. We have one issue & that is that he has been occasionally kicking others in the playground at playtime.

This first started in his first week & happened two days in a row. DH & I spoke at length with him about it saying how it's not very nice to be unkind etc. and his teacher did the same. We got a sticker chart at home for just 5 days & for the 3 weeks after he's been really good & not "lashed out" at anyone. Until yesterday, his teacher said he kicked 3 different children in the playground & she said this time she did let him know that she was cross which he got upset about but I believe she was right to do that. I just don't know where to go from here. His teacher says that apart from these instances he's fantastic at school, really helpful to others, really bright & she said she thinks he's a lovely boy if not a bit on the boisterous side, we just don't understand why he's doing it.

When we speak to DS about it he says he doesn't know why he does it, he knows it's not kind & that he won't do it again but clearly something needs to be done. Does anyone have any advise on how to handle this & to get through to him? I'd hate for this to lose him friends (he's got lots at the moment, his teacher says he's very popular!) & I'd hate to have this negative hanging over him when everything else is so positive.

Thanks in advance!

i think there is little more you can do, as parents, other than reinforcing that it's not ok.

this one is for school to deal with. i'm guessing he's getting frustrated at something in the playground and this is how he is dealing with it, so maybe he just needs them to keep a closer eye on him so that they can try and prevent it before it happens

I agree that as long as you are consistent & back up the teachers at school, this is probably one for the teachers to
deal with as it needs to be instant. Anything you do/say at hometime will be too late to have relevance at 5. Meanwhile, model & support him in finding new ways to deal with anger but to be honest, he's little & feelings get the better of them at that age. By the way, I'm a year 1 teacher and see it all the time so don't worry- they usually grow out of it x

Thank you both so much :-) it's nice to know he's not the only one! We've been telling him that if someone makes him cross he's to walk away & he says yes he will but as you say Bunnychan it's all very well & good saying it after the event when he's calm but he needs to be reminded in the playground, I can't do that! I also bought him the Mr Good Mr Men book yesterday which is showing how Mr Good is nice to everyone but is really sad living in Badland where everyone is horrible to him. DS hates it when people are upset so I thought if I can make him realise that if he kicks someone he upsets them that might help to stop him. I hope you're right & that he does grow out of it! Thanks both of you again :-)

Hi op. I think yr/y1 are mainly learning about the social side of stuff, the school environment is quite different to what they will have experienced before and can take several terms to adjust. I would ask the school how you can work with them and talk about conflict resolution at home in an age appropriate way, maybe via small world role play and so on.