What toys for boy nearly 4?

[karma]

Our DS will be 4 in Sept. Recently he has switched from liking Thomas and Bob the builder to really being into Spider man but mainly all these awful characters such as the Lizard?! Carnage and wolverine (hope these mean something to someone as I had never heard of them before!). All his play revolves around these characters fighting and hurting each other, and we are starting to wonder if this isn't a bit young to be into all this kind of stuff. We presume he has picked up these characters from nursery and yes we have foolishly bought them for him to reward him for extra good behaviour. I know that my parents are mortified when they hear him playing, and it's now got me concerned. Also he's mad about watching Scooby Doo, but again DS always wants to pretend to be the monster and goes around attacking his little brother. I'm sure these toys are affecting him in other ways as he's becoming a really bolshy little boy, verbally and physically aggressive at times and hard to control. Or are most boys like this at this age? We don't really want to remove these toys as he loves playing with them so much, but equally don't want to be encouraging inappropriate behaviour. Anyone who has any experience on this please post a message, I'd be really grateful. Thanks.

My DS is exactly the same - always allies himself with the baddie! He has done this for ages now and he is also nearly four (august)....not the same characters as he's not seen anything to do with them but others (like the evil queen in snow white!)

I actually think this is a way that children 'work through' the scary element of these characters. It's really scary for a tiny child to experience these 'baddies' which must give them a sense of danger...I think taking control and being the baddie brings it all under control again for them. They are the baddie but really they know they are in a safe environment so nothing really scary will happen to them.

Boys have a testosterone surge around 4 and I have DEFINITELY noticed this in my DS, in his wish to be more rough and play 'fighting' games....he's just acting as nature prompts him. I think you are best advised to just go with all of this behaviour, unless of course he is hitting his younger brother in which case you must apply a consequence. But I would just let him get on with his 'baddie' games tbh.

Have you read 'Raising Boys' by Steve Biddulph? If not it is really worth getting, explains lots about the stages boysgo through and takes some of these worries away.

My DH has always been really clear that boys NEED boundaries, they don't feel secure without them. I think our DS thrives best when I am really clear and firm about where the boundary lies and I think maybe that could be helpful with your DS too - let him be bolshy within the limits you think realistic but make a clear consequence if he is being unbearable!

hth!

I wondered what happened when ds's fascination with Thomas waned, which it is, he's 4 and is finding things very scary and wakes up screaming with night frights, which backs up sparklemagics point about coming to terms with a scary world that he has no control over.

he's getting into Powerrangers and role playing a lot and fascinated with good and bad, so I guess they're just playing out things at this age

Think this is just normal for boys tbh. My ds is 4 and he's exactly the same, as is his cousin and his friends. Agree about the testosterone thing, I've read Biddulph too! Boys tend to get a bad press when really they are listening to their body and doing what comes naturally to them.

My ds's play always revolves around bad guys, people dying from horiffic injuries (such as head cracking open) and cars crashing.

My ds was 4 in April and is the same.

We do not allow playing with guns or weapons in the house but he is still quite aggressive although we are not worried about it IYSWIM.

He loves being a baddie or a T-rex and destroying things and he has a peculiar madeup story in his head about a castle he used to live in with his other mummy and daddy (!) Unfortunately, they were killed by the dragons that lived there and that is when he came to live with us and his brother!!

I think you have to go with these things because although it is a bit on my mind, he also has a softer side where pink is his favourite colour and he has just asked me for a baby doll with a pushchair that he is going to call Alicia!!!

ds 3.5yo does same. too tired to read or post all - sorry .
we've got a lot of playmobil - they have construction / city sets - ds plays v imaginatively with characters building scenarios etc. when an adult is playing with, he stays constructive with them. however, when playing alone they do end up fighting or racing...

Thanks for all the advice. I guess I thought it was probably normal but just needed to run it by someone. Yes I have got Raising Boys, will have another read of it. Cheers.