3 yr old twins born at 29 weeks extra sensitive

[appleandplum]

I have 3 and half yr old dts who were born at 29 weeks, they have no medical problems and have caught up very well but they are so so sensitive. They still have big tantrums and one particularly can really scream for a long time, every morning they moan about wearing socks as they say it hurts their feet. They talk really well and can express their feelings and even after a tantrum say that they were screaming and when ok they are lovely. They go to nursery and are fine there but usually the minute i pick them up one has a screaming fit about something. I took them to a dance class and they both had a tantrum and i had to walk out with them both screaming the place down.

I see other people with the same age children and they seem alot less volatile,.
I also have a 5 yr old and 21 month old so it is really difficult to deal with their tantrums and i feel like i have to really think about where i go in case one kicks off. At home i usually try to ignore or put them into their bedroom to calm down but this doesnt seem to be improving things.

I just wondered if anyone else had this and i'm convinced it must be something to do with their prematurity.
Thanks

DS2 was born at 32 weeks so obviously not as early are your DTS but is also very sensitive...I say that he is very hard work! He is 3 in November.

He can be the happiest cheekiest little boy but can have a complete screaming meltdown over the slightest thing what feels like a 100 times a day. By nature he is very inquisitive and absolutely into everything...not content to sit still at all unless its on his terms doing what he wants to be doing ie reading book or playing etc. He isn't at nursery yet but he does seem more volatile than others of a similar age. DS1 was a very calm little boy and still is now at nearly 9 so it might be DS2's prematurity that is playing a part. Were they poorly at all when they were born? I had severe PE so he was induced because of that but fortunately needed no intervention at all just an NG tube to feed.

our little boy was born at 28 weeks and seems very sensitive to certain things - he's also quite quiet and likes to observe other children doing an activity before having a go himself...the word 'passive' comes to mind, but I think its a bit negative.
He can also have huge tantrums when things don't go his way. But these seemed to start later than his peers, so we seemed to miss out on the 'terrible twos'.

I'm also sure it was to do with being premature; at the moment he seems to be having severe growing pains in his legs at night - he complains and says 'ow' when we cuddle him and things just seem to hurt him more. I just bought the book, 'the highly sensitive child' but haven't read it fully yet.

They were not that poorly given their gestation, just needing help with breathing for the first few days and an ng tube but they were in hospital 8 weeks waiting to get good at feeding and get big enough, so alot of heel pricks and general prodding about.
Whenever i've spoken to my hv she has never really agreed that it could their prematurity but i know they are very different to my other 2 dcs.
It's just trying to find ways to deal with it.

It sounds like possibly they have sensory processing issues. Not at all uncommon and kids who do really DO find things like socks, seams and crowds/loud noises stressful. Maybe the oracle that is Google will provide some strategies .

IME (Dd had/has this) it can get much better with time.

is this any use?

Thanks, i'll have a read. I have come across this before and some seems true but as they are only really bad for me i wonder if they would be able to control it or if its just they 'relax' more with me

Sounds like sensory processing disorder
Waiting to have my 6 year old assessed for it at the moment.
He has issues with socks, clothes, coats not feeling right, fingernails being cut, the 'feel' of things like the sound of pencil on paper.
The meltdowns are usually a result of a sensory overload - too much of things they can't tolerate.
My ds appears fine at school to the teacher but comes home & cries or is in the most awful mood & the slightest thing will send him into meltdown as he's had to deal with too much 'sensory stuff' during the day.
The Out of Sync Child is a great book to read - gives lots of examples of behaviours that indicate SPD