Has my 11 month old got anger issues

[Chocolateyclaire76]

My LO has always been very spirited from day one so we're used to the outbursts and the strong willed behaviour but recently it's like the terrible 2's have come early.

She started walking at 9 months so we thought her frustration would die down but she still gets annoyed by virtually everything. Her attention span for anything is about 5/10 mins and then she will scream and cry for no apparent reason. She's not teething, she generally sleeps well and eats a good amount yet she will scream and throw tantrums for literally no reason. When other babies are around she will snatch toys from them and then all hell breaks lose when we try to take them back. She's also decided to try and bite which is rather worrying. She doesn't do it very often but when it happens she literally goes feral and then lunges.

When she's happy she's a delight and very entertaining but when her mood changes I just don't know what to do. If she was older and could understand what I'm telling her at least we could communicate but at 11 months I'm at a loss.

Has anyone else experienced this or am I just over-reacting and experiencing a run of the mill baby?!

She sounds at the touchy end of the range but within normal to me. You may well find she improves when she can communicate better. Have you tried baby signing - I haven't done myself but know some have found it helpful.

Yes to baby signing. I wouldn't call it anger issues! She's 11 months.

Maybe take her out of playgroup type environments and had playdates instead? Try and anticipate and step in before she kicks off. Maybe she's tired or a bit overwhelmed when these things happen?

No answers but lots of sympathy!! My 10mo DS sounds EXACTLY the same!! I was just on the phoneto my mum today saying that it seems like terrible twos have come early! DS also screams and hits/kicks his toys for no apparent reason, often after just 5-10 mins of playing. He hasn;t bitten yet but does lash out and kick/hit.

He seems to need/want me to play with him almost constantly and is not very good at entertaining himself.

I am finding it v v difficult cos I also have a very firey/short temper and am finding it hard not to get v cross with him in return :( Even though I know he's only youg it's v trying having to cope with all this rage all day every day!

I have started to walk away and ignore him for a few mins when he has a real strop, after trying to distract him with another toy has failed: i think he was starting to learn that this behaviour led to being swept up in mummy's arms and kissed and cuddled, which I don't think is a good association. As long as he is somewhere safe, I just now say in a bored voice "oh dear don't get cross with your toys it's a bit silly" and he normally distracts himself within about 20 seconds. Then when he is calm again I make sure I leave any chores etc and go and play with him on the floor for 15 mins or so....ie so I am 'rewarding' good calm quiet behaviour with lots of fun playtime.

not sure if it's working or not yet but I certainly feel better now I am mentally distancing myself from his strops a bit...I think I needed to realise that I cannot make him happy all the time. I play with him lots, cuddle him loads, take him swimming, out ot baby groups, read loads of books etc: I am trying to be a good mum: but I am not wholly responsible for his happiness all the time: he is a separate person to me, and sometimes he is just going to be annoyed!

I am rambling now and not sure I making any sense, but hope it helpsa bit to know you're not the only one!

A lot have people have told me it'sa sure sign that DS is bright, but I have seen no especial evidence of this so far! Think he is just a bit of a grump!

(my DS cannot walk yet though and I think some of it is frustration...maybe once they can talk things will be better??)

My 11 month old whinges all the time. I think some of it could be teething related, I also think it's his way of communicating with me.

I do wonder if girls can be a little more wilful in their ways. I don't particularly want to make it a gender issue, but I have noticed the girls at the various baby/toddler classes I have been to have always been more determined nay aggressive than the boys.

Thank you for all the sympathy! It's so hard to know what to do. I guess I can hope it's a phase and once she can communicate things will improve (crossing fingers right now!).

Both my boys have been like this as babies. Very highly strung, easily frustrated and DS2 was a biter too.

I wouldn't say they had anger problems though! Being a baby is hard work for some personalities. It's frustrating for them to not be able to have what they want, when they want it. Often both of mine would get over stimulated and not even know themselves what they wanted or why they were so upset!

It's hard work but she sounds normal to me.

DS1 became less feral and touchy once he could talk well and understand the world better when he was about 20 months old. He wasn't and isn't a angry child, in fact he's super sweet and sensitive, never hits, never loses his temper and is really lovely and reasonable now (age 6). Just wanted to reassure you because I felt for sure when he was a baby he'd end up in anger management or something but he's fine honestly!

DS2 was very similar and again has only just really began to mellow now he's talking more (age 21 months). He still whinges and cries when babies take things off him or will snatch things but that is all very normal and we are working on teaching him to wait for his turn etc.

It all gets better in time I promise!

It's not anger issues. I more to do with Infantile Egocentrism - that is that your toddler's brain has not developed enough to accommodate how they affect others or how others reactions to them properly. This does not come till around 4/5 years. It's a bind as a parent; but also nothing out of the ordinary. They just need good, firm guidance until their minds start being more outward facing.

ah Chocolately and BotBot I feel like I pop up on all your threads, and you on mine, I think our DCs must be pretty similar.

I have described dd as a 2 year old trapped in a baby's body! She is prone to tantrums, she will have a strop and then throw herself backwards, this of course hurts her as she hits her head (if I can't get there in time to catch her) so then she cries for real . She wants what she wants and if she doesn't get it goes straight to yelling. I see other parents taking a toy away or making their baby sit still at playgroups and baby classes - I know if I did that to DD there would be a huge embarrassing outburst.

According to my MIL, DH was exactly the same as a baby and young child - very prone to frustration and outbursts if something went at all wrong. Nowadays however DH is very well mannered and tantrums are very rare . He is also very bright . I'm not sure exactly what age the transformation happens mind you. DD is a carbon copy of DH apart from being a girl so let's see.

I have recently started limiting the number of toys available to just one or two at a time and I think that helps a bit. Also dd loves being read to so I try to do a lot of that as it means sitting still and concentrating (though then she strops when the book is finished...). But mostly I just try to see the frustration coming before it happens and prevent it, eg I make sure nothing is in the way of her walker, I distract madly when taking something away, I make sure she's got entertainment in her buggy etc.

Gosh!
You do all realise that you are talking about young babies don't you?
An 11 month old can not have anger issues. They have no control of their emotions, they just express what they feel. Which before language is often frustration.
So baby signing can be good if it helps them communicate.
Not over stimulating can also help. Which includes the parent knowing when they need a nap or to wind down.
Biting is a totally normal part of development. Yes parents say No and stop them, but they are just exploring/trying things out.
Babies have no idea that things outside themselves have feelings! and a separate will.

Well it depends on what is meant by anger issues doesn't it. I don't believe my dd has "anger issues" in the adult sense, I don't think she needs anger management classes . however she does appear to get angry/frustrated/whatever you like to call it much more easily than most other babies. So she has "anger issues" in that sense. and yes I would like her not to get angry/frustrated so easily because I think she would be happier. You're right not over stimulating and regular naps help (though napping is one of the things she gets cross about, even when she is clearly tired )