My 4yr old wants to wear a pink fairies costume to a party...but i don't think HE should!!!

[mrsforgetful]

it started off as wanting to be a fairy and i said he could still wear wings and be a 'boy' fairy- as it was the wings he wanted to wear- then the person who was lending the wings sent round a pink ballet costume and yesterday he had it on all day. we hid it today. now i am very 'liberal' in my thinking- but as he will be 5 in may- he is i think past the 'ah! isn't he sweet' phase. needless to say my DH is adamant that he will not wear it....but i am having real tears from him over this- he even came up to me today pleading THAT WE LET HIM WEAR IT. wHAT DO I DO?? with ds2 we had the 'female' phase at 3- i didn't expect to get it with ds3 as he is 'such a boy!' howver to see him practising ballet moves learnt off angelina ballerina was a picture!

I'd say let him wear it, but not very familiar with 4-year-old boys. My ds has no interest in clothes of any sort really (though he likes t-shirt with a camel on it) and he likes wearing a crown, but he insists that when he grows up he will be a mummy and not a daddy.

And there's nothing 'feminine' about dancing. In most cultures around the world only men are allowed to dance as it is such a masculine thing. Ballet is not a single sex activity either.

my son at 5 loved dressing up as a princess- I used to find him lying on the sofa with a bunch of plastic flowers in his hands pretending to be Princess Fiona in Shrek. He is now 6 and obsessed with fighter planes - so it does pass !

Blu - It wasn't that i didn't want her to go as Hulk because i didn't think she should. It was more that I knew that all of the girls going to the party were going as faries/princesses e.t.c and i knew that she wouldn't like it once she got there if she was dressed as the hulk.

I'd love to say "let him wear it" but as he's a school-age 4, I'd try to find an alternative. Not because there's anything wrong with it per se but just because I'd be worried his school friends may tease him.

Can you make him a more pixie-ish "dress" in another colour? Just a tunic with a pointy hem may do the trick. And a hat with a bell on the end?

Sad to say I definitely agree with the nay sayers on this one, unless he has really rock solid self esteem and will be able to cope with possible reactions ranging from amusement to horror from his peers. I'm utterly ashamed to report that I'm almost certain that my kids (both male and aged nearly 5)would comment negatively if they saw a boy of their age dressed in pink, though I would set them straight asap, natch. They buy into certain gender stereotypes bigtime tho and take no heed whatsoever of my carefully designed age-appropriate feminist lectures so I just couldn't guarantee that I'd be able to shut them up in time. Sigh. I once envisaged having lovely boys in pink like your ds3, Mrs F. Not sure where I've gone wrong... I do hope your son has a great time, whatever he decides to wear.