My little boy

[filee777]

My lovely little boy is nearly 3 and a half. He has been struggling with his talking so finally, after months and months of asking, I had an appointment today with the speech and language therapist.

What she said has absolutely broken my heart

He has serious issues acquiring language, he is struggling to cope with simple commands. She was playing with him but assessing him and within 40 minutes he was rubbing his little eyes because he was trying so so hard to get things right but said things like 'blocksing' instead of building and 'juciening' when she showed him someone pouring juice.

When we left i just broke down, she said that he needs really simple language and that we have been over complicating things which is why he can't pick things up, that he needs extra classes and sessions. I've been working loads over the summer, to pay for our fire place to be fixed and to try and support us. Now i have taken on uni and trying to work as wel. My little boy is suffering, i've not spent enough time with him and now he cannot even learn to talk :(

I am so so upset.

Hi Filee, first of all it is not your fault in the slightest. Some children just have trouble with speech. When we took my DS for his initial assessment she made it clear to us that with many children they just don't know what causes this issues. My DS has articulation and phonological disorder, he has trouble forming the mouth positions for certain sounds and mixes some up (so he used to say pime for time etc)- as with other posters my DD was talking fluently before the age of two and had no problems. DS is also very social and school have said he is a bright boy.
I too have felt heart broken over this and have felt guilty about it but the truth is it just happened some times.
My son is now having SALT (NHS) and we are also now getting private therapy as well as now he has started school I want to help as much as I can.
We do lots at home too (in small chunks). If you want to do some things yourself with him the website www.mommyspeechtherapy.com is fantastic. Lots of little pictures for each sound which saved me so much time trawling the internet for suitable images!! Using a mirror is good too so he can see what his mouth looks like and also making him look at me when I say words helps. Making it interactive is great as it can get boring!

If you're working and studying who is actually parenting most of the time? If you only see DS for limited time, likely when he is tired, then it is the other carer(s) who will be most help in him learning to talk. They need to devote the time and attention to simple chit-chat (which it sounds like is what has been recommended for at-home by the SLT). You can do it (if you cut back on the work/study) or you can get his childcare too. Are you happy with the adult/child ratio and language skills (and interaction levels with the children) of the adults who currently care for him? Can you drop (at least some of) the work/study?

You obviously care for your DS and want to get this sorted. You may not be able to do that AND the rest all yourself. That isn't a failure, it is realistic. Oh, and whatever you decide... make sure you enjoy him too!

It's not your fault. I have three dc:
Dd1 early talker, full 6-8 word sentences at 20 months. Things like "I actually will only be a minute."
Dd2 very early talker. 500+ words at 18 months.
Ds speech therapy at 2yo, still having some (for pronunciation now) at age 6yo.
I did the same with them all.

Have you had his hearing checked? Ds has glue ear and it makes a huge difference.

OP, I did not speak until I was 3.5 and now get told off for using long words. My niece had a speech delay but now 5.5 she's caught up. I think you've caught it at the perfect age. He sounds absolutely fab. For him, speech is something that is taking longer and it pulls on the heart string to read about how hard he was trying.

I bet he can do things other 3.5 yr olds can't!

Strings not string!!

OP, I love your DS's invented words. They are fab

Has he had many ear infections?

My ds was in the same situation as yours. The SALT could find nothing wrong with his hearing, and assessed him as suffering from a significant speech and language delay (she said her would never be able to manage at a normal school). But he began to speak in whole and advanced sentences as soon as a kindly GP gave him some PROPER antibiotics, aged 3. He didn't have another ear infection for six years. I believe wholeheartedly that, although his hearing was assessed as fine, his ears were the cause of his poor speech.

DS IS at a normal school, and is at the top of his year.

I am more than happy with the nursery, it is an outdoors nursery that focuses on play, perfect. I am not worried about his engagement there or how they are supporting him.

I am going to drop the majority of my work load, it will be hard for us to cope but the most important things are study and the children, so those are the things i will focus on. I am off on sick leave currently and will be for around 3 more weeks. After that I will go back to work and only do 2 mornings and one evening a week, that combined with three full days study will be enough and my children can have the rest of my time.

Apparently Albert Einstein didnt say a word till he was 4..... a bit closer to home my older brother hardly said a word at 3. He was referred to all sorts of people and in the end all they came up with was that he was a bit slower to talk than his peers. Everything else was normal. He caught up in the end and by age 5 youd never have known. Hes an architect now so pretty brainy. All kids are different, and yours sounds lovely.