Bad influance

[Bridget14]

My little boy has started nursery and the first few weeks was amazing and he was such a good little boy at nursery and at home (the odd few tantrums at home but nothing out the ordinary) now this other little boy has started his nursery and the change i have seen in my little one is unreal,

He no longer listen's to me, he runs away from me when we walk to and from nursery, he is rude he is hitting out (only at me) but its breaking my heart when i ask him why he is being naughty his reply is Because Ben is bad, i can handle it,

I know my son is not an angel all the time and i am not saying he does no wrong because believe me he does and i know he does, but since becoming friends with this other child its gotten unreal, Ben's mother doesnt seem to care her child runs mad she never raises her voice her reply to anything is i give my children freedom, i understand this but there is a time and place where you need your child to understand good from wrong and listening to you especially if you are out and about with cars and strangers kicking about,

Has anyone else had this issue? i just need some advice, how do i go about asking the mum poilty to rain in her child or do i just stop my son from playing with him?

Help please! x

You need to stop focusing on the other child.

Your DS may have decided to try rebelling a little and testing the boundaries with you after seeing how his friend behaves but whether he continues is up to you and nothing to do with the other child or his mother.

You need to concentrate on introducing some positive behaviour management strategies for your son, e.g. you can let go of my hand and walk alongside me if you walk sensibly. The other side of this is that if he runs off he will have to hold your hand again.

Don't ask him why he is being naughty. He is testing you and your boundaries and isn't old enough to understand that or put it into words. Labeling him as naughty will just make the problem harder to solve.

Don't tell him he can't play with this other child or ask nursery to stop them playing together. The nursery staff are responsible for managing his behaviour when he's in their care and it is your responsibility when he is in your care.

If you give him clear, consistent boundaries and communicate your expectations of his behaviour effectively he will stop bothering to test the boundaries and settle down again.

I would leave her parenting style to her and avoid ! You are not really compatible and your son and hers will probably not remain friends. Try and find Mums who are on your wavelength. Often children rather admire a naughty one and copy their behaviour. You could speak to the nursery staff and see if his behaviour has deteriorated at nursery. See if you can find more suitable children for your son to play with then invite them and their mums round for play.

This is one of the big important things your son has got to learn in life: that you can be around people who do not share your standards of behaviour and still stick to those standards.

Otherwise he will never be safe: he will always find out that there are people who do very naughty things indeed.

A child who learns from the start that nobody will excuse his behaviour because of somebody else's influence will learn how to not let himself be influenced.

A child who learns that the people around him will excuse him "because the other boy led him astray" will never feel the need to control himself.

And btw raising your voice is not always the sign of good parenting. Some of the shoutiest parents I have known have been absolutely hopeless at discipline.