what to do when. dd thinks she's being left out?

[knickernicker]

DD is 7, sensitive and shy. This is a typical scenario:
At a party, children run off excitedly after party girl. DD's face goes crestfallen. She cones over to me crying telling me that everyone's run off and left her out. I tell her they haven't left her out. If friends then ask her to join in she won't leave me. She joins in eventually.
Although this often happens, I know she has the social skills to get it right because sometimes shejoins in very happily. She feels left out when I'm not there but won't cry in front of party host sostands there quietly. Also scenario only happens with close friends. With acquaintances she just behaves shyly but doesn't make a fuss.
Any tips on helping her would be great. Thanks.

I have one of these more passive kids as well you're not alone. I find that some kids need to practise social and assertive behaviour, it doesn't come naturally to everyone.

So explaining situations like you do is great. Keep exposing her to gatherings, clubs, lead by example (having a chat with the neighbours, etc). Let her talk to people on your behalf (e.g. Buying something etc). And you could also encourage her to role play with figures (like lego etc). You could act out a play situation like that while you play she can learn different behaviours. Incidentally, my socially less adept child doesn't really like role play, it just doesn't interest her...

Tell her she is not shy, that's a too convenient label for not getting out of ones comfort zone. Tell her she likes to observe people before she jumps in - and that this is fine! My child actually joined in the dancing etc at parties when I stopped "pushing" her on the dance floor and just told him that it is fine if he wants to sit with me and watch.

A teacher once said that my Dc is very self contained, and I took that as a cue to lean back and think I don't need to bother encouraging him being sociable, but have changed my mind now. In the end everyone needs to at least be able to socialise..

Sorry for long post, my favourite subject at the moment!

Good luck