21 month old different at nursery than home?

[Snowgirl1]

Our 21 month old DD goes to nursery full-time and every day the report I get says she's eaten pretty much everything, and sometimes seconds. She used to be a good eater at home to, but recently she's started refusing more food - last night she just pushed her dinner away and had a tantrum. When she calmed down, I took her back to it a couple of times, but each time she just pushed it away and she eventually went to bed having had no dinner.

Any suggestions as to why she's behaving so differently about food at nursery compared to at home?

Peer pressure at nursery? Because she's not hungry in the evening when she gets home from nursery? Because she has smaller portions at nursery so eating "everything" does not equate to the same thing at home?

Thanks unexpected I've thought it could be due to peer pressure at nursery. I don't give her dinner when we get home from nursery - it's more the weekends I'm talking about.

I think food refusal in a child of this age is usually a power / control thing - they are realising that they have the ability to say "no" so they want to try it out!

At nursery the staff have less of an emotional investment in whether she eats her food, so refusing it does not give her the same feeling of power. That's why the best response is for you to stay very calm and just say "OK, you don't want any food now".

At least you know she's getting her nutrients if she's eating well at nursery!

Thanks tumble I think that could well be it. Sometimes she pushes her food away and if I just leave it there she will eventually just pull it back towards herself and eat it. It's just a bit more worrying when it's her dinner and I worry she's going to be going to bed hungry. I do try to stay very calm and try to act uninterested that she's refused - I was a very fussy child and it made my dad very angry. As a result I dreaded family mealtimes and I don't want our mealtimes to end up like that.

This happens a lot.

I work with this age group and often children can eat better at nursery because they are sat at the table with other children and imitate the behaviour. Also they are aware of the boundaries and how far they can push it, she may just been seeing how far you will be pushed!

Always try sitting to the table with her when eating at the weekend, also see if nursery are giving it her with a fork/spoon/plate/bowl and follow that through at home.

And if she doesn't eat, no pudding, they soon learn that they get rewarded for eating their meals! And as your doing, don't force her to eat, she will do when she's ready!

Thanks chelsbells, good suggestion to check with what the nursery do re. cutlery/plates etc. I usually try to sit with her when she eats, but have to admit that it's not always so I'll make more effort to do this. Sometimes I've prepared our family dinner at the weekend for 5pm so that it fits with her mealtimes, only to have her push it away and DH & I end up eating hours before we'd really want to, which is a bit frustrating!

She definitely doesn't get any pudding if she doesn't eat her main course!