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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS 10 days old constantly crying/wakes up and cries when put to sleep

26 replies

vbab78 · 28/06/2006 23:01

Please help this is my first child and I/DH don't know what to do. Also .. DS is being bottlefed.
We have been home for a week now and DS was great whilst in hospital and the first few days at home, feeding and going to sleep no problem, cried when was hungry or nappy needed changing.
I understand that babies cry and often, however over the past couple of days he has started crying alot starting with it being really hard on an evening to put him to bed after he has been fed and falls asleep as he wakes up and starts to cry like you are trying to hurt him!
However this has now developed and he spent the majority of this afternoon crying/screaming and the same stuff when trying to put him to bed. Me and DH are at the end of our tether, please help.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

poptot · 28/06/2006 23:03

Is he bringing up wind?

CountessDracula · 28/06/2006 23:03

Sorry but that sounds about right to me. He is only tiny! Have you tried swaddling?

Original poster

vbab78 · 28/06/2006 23:06

poptot - He does fetch up wind but on occasion he doesn't.

Countess - He was swaddled in the hospital, tried it at home when we first came home but he manages to undo the sheet! He is very strong and has full use of his legs and arms.

OP posts:

poptot · 28/06/2006 23:06

Is he weeing, pooing, taking feeds alright, doesn't feel hot/cold?

Original poster

vbab78 · 28/06/2006 23:07

poptot - weeing like mad, filling nappies once/twice a day. Temp seems ok.

OP posts:

poptot · 28/06/2006 23:08

If he's not always bringing wind up it might be wind thta's unsettling him, how long are you winding him for?

Bibliophile · 28/06/2006 23:10

Totally normal - sorry. Babies sort of 'wake up' around day 10 IME. They realise they are in the world and sometimes they act like they don't like it. Some people call it colic and blame wind, but I think some babies are just like this for a while. Remember, ten days ago this baby was inside you all the time, warm, never hungry, always with you. I recommend taking the baby for a walk in the afternoon after a feed to help him sleep and holding him a lot. Babies are like this, I'm afraid! It won't last forever.

monkeytrousers · 28/06/2006 23:11

Might be colic. Colief worked for us. Is he bringing his knees up to his tummy?

Are you feeding him on demand?

I know it's so hard but crying is their only way of communicating. Try not to see it as a negative all the time, just his way of talking to you

Original poster

vbab78 · 28/06/2006 23:11

A little at the beginning of the feed then for 10/15 mins after. Also check his nappy after the feed then try to wind a little again.

Winding ... rubbing his back and moving gently backwards and forwards.

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Original poster

vbab78 · 28/06/2006 23:15

monkeytrousers - We are feeding on demand, approx every 3 hours but some night times he has gone 5+ hours.

He doesn't fetch up his legs to his chest. How would I know if it was colic?

OP posts:

monkeytrousers · 28/06/2006 23:15

I agree with the holding and attention thing. get to know him, his own routine will surface eventually and you can tune into it.

But the baby dictates everything for a few months I'm afraid. Give into it, it will be easier that way.

And grab naps during the day whenever he does - DO NOT TRY TO GET 'STUFF' DONE, OF HOUSEWORK OR ANYTHING - SLEEP WHEN THE BABY DOES!!

(Thats the only advice I wished I'd taken now)

monkeytrousers · 28/06/2006 23:17

DS would get worse at around 5pm ish and cry solidly for hours, sometimes not going to sleep unti 1-2 am. Nothing could be done to comfort him. He looked like he was in pain too.

We tried infacol, gripe water, didn't work. Tried Colief, he was asleep at 8pm that day.

poptot · 28/06/2006 23:19

I had to be quite firm with ds to bring any wind up but that always seemed to help. Found cupping my hand on his back worked well as did lying him down and cycling his legs and then trying again. Dh always used to lie him stretched out and then try again. Are yuo still seeing your midwife or Hv they maybe able to reassure you or offer some tips. It does get better honestly.

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 28/06/2006 23:42

Is it just when he lies down on his back? DS2 and ds3 were both like this. Eventually for ds3 I bought one of these and it was wonderful. He was quite a refluxy/sicky baby- and was slept really well in his amby until he was about 10 months when he went into the cot. Wish I'd had it for ds2 as well.

mrsnoah · 29/06/2006 00:06

oh poor vbab. I agree with bibliophile. Your wee one has been part of you for all his life and still thinks he is or should be.
Relax, go with the flow, forget routines,the outside world, housework and tune in with him. Snuggle up and just LOVE him
These first weeks are hard sometimes. But it WILL get easier very soon.

lewsmummy · 29/06/2006 00:06

Hi, my ds was crying after every feed and everyone told us it was prob colic, we tried infacol, dentinox and colief (expensive and didn't work) we took him to gp as we suspected reflux, he wasn't sure but said their was no harm in trying infant gaviscon.

After we started using gaviscon he seemed better and we also switched from avent bottles to MAM bottles at the same time. We weren't sure what was working but i ran out of gaviscon before hving chance to get more and he continued not screaming without it. May have been coincidence but from us starting on MAM bottles he improved loads and didn't cry half as much.

Also i used to cuddle ds to sleep every night then lay him down. He is now 21 week old and about 3-4 weeks ago i started puttin him down awake and doing controlled crying, he now goes straight to sleep without the need to be cuddled by me, so maybe try that.

sorry its long.

lewsmummy · 29/06/2006 00:08

It really does get easier. I/we felt just like u. DH couldn't even cope with DS so it was left to me most of the time.

mrsnoah · 29/06/2006 00:13

Handy Hint:
Wear a plain tshirt all day and then put it in his cot. Lie him flat on this and your smell will still be on itand soothe him !
Worked for dd2.
(Or stick a muslin down your top for a while and use that!!)

lewsmummy · 29/06/2006 00:18

Just re read my thread, it's a bit waffley,what i mean is ds didn't actually have reflux so the gaviscon made no difference that was just in my head when i thought it was working. I honestly think the bottles made all the difference. Which r u using?

It could also just be newborn crying like everyone else has suggested.

With the sleeping thing it coud be that at so young he may not like been away from u, after all he's been in u for 9mth. My ds was a lot better been close to me.

Hope that makes more sense. Thats just my opinion obiously i may be wrong and every baby is different. hth x

Lact8 · 29/06/2006 00:26

I think you've been given some really good advice and just wanted to add that 10 days is very young and very early for you and dh to be geting used to being parents and being responsible for this helpless little baby who won't stop crying. Don't worry that you are doing something wrong. As others have said it does get easier.

With regards to winding, dp's grandad is really good at this, he would hold them under the chin and rest their belly on the inside of his forearm and rub their backs quite firmly. He'd always get a big burp out of them where I'd failed to.

Take care, live in your pjs for a while and rest whenever you can. Its always more bearable when you're not shattered

SkinnyMalink · 29/06/2006 07:18

I had similar withdd and i changed her onto DR Browns Bottles - saw an immediate change. All of the advice has been good so far. If you are really worried speak to your Health Visitor - she will come and visit - or your Midwife.

glamourbadger · 29/06/2006 08:41

I would suggest swaddling really tightly in a light cotton sheet. If I leave my twins unswaddled they flail their arms around, hit their face and wake up - the Moro or startle reflex also causes them to wake.

Swaddling is magic - I have no idea how I would have survived the first few weeks without it! We experimented with lots of different swaddles before coming up with the most effective. Have a search through Google and you should find a diagram. They will initially struggle but don't be put off - think how tightly packed they are inside the womb. Once out they need a boundary to feel comfortable and safe. You will be amazed at how quickly it calms them!

Good luck - and it really does get easier with each week that passes!

cherpybird · 29/06/2006 08:43

I also had Dr Browns bottles for both of my DS's, they are expensive, but I think they work well.

DS1 was always crying as a baby but slept very well at night, I think he was just grumpy! DS2 was a happy baby in the day but from 6pm onwards would just cry and cry, we didn't really no what to do, but it stopped after about 6 weeks. Itried everything but it didn't work for him, it was just his time to cry (and cry he did!!)

I think maybe it is just newborn behaviour and agree with Bibliophile I know its hard to hear, but things will get better soon!!

Original poster

vbab78 · 29/06/2006 09:56

Thanks for all the advice everyone. It's nice to know me and DH are not alone.

So far, so good this morning, fingers crossed. DS once I managed to get him down after his afternoon/evening of crying slept for about 5 hours, he woke twice for feeding this morning because he had about 7 hours between his last feed then went back to sleep and stayed asleep when I put him down straight away.

I managed to tidy up a little, have a bath, put a wash on and have breakfast so far this morning! Please God let today continue like this. Intend on contacting a local SureStart (parent group) and making time to go for a walk just to get out of the house.

OP posts:

monkeytrousers · 29/06/2006 15:34

Housework?? You should be sleeping!

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