What do you do when your baby won't eat and asks for something else?

[Judyandherdreamofhorses]

Just that really. Keen to hear different ideas. This phase is driving me to distraction. Lovingly prepared food, previously accepted, is rejected, accompanied by demands for crackers, yoghurt, or whatever the favourite fruit of the week is.

He feeds himself and has not accepted help for about 4 months.

I made a rule. He needed to eat three big bites of whatever I'd made. Then, and only then, if he hated it was he allowed to get a plain piece of bread.

I found it helped just eating with him and ignoring the tantrums etc, and just reiterating the rule. If he then hadn't eaten it within about 1/2 - 3/4 of an hour it was taken away and he was hungry (never before bed - again a bit of toast for supper to get round the not eating dinner dilemma).

Lasted about 3-4 weeks before it kicked in that I wasn't trying to poison him!

Bloody awful stage btw - sympathies!

How old is he?

15 months, Zuleika

Glad you've found something to help, Doris. DS wouldn't understand the 3 bites thing yet.

I wouldn't get anything else. Dinner is dinner they eat or go without [mean mummy emoticon]

Yeah. DS was just over two when he kicked off. Coincided with him starting nursery. Good as gold for them - terrible for me!

Did that work for you at 15 months though, caffeine? I agree I need to toughen up with 4 yo DD, but DS is a baby. I didn't give in to cracker demands yesterday, but he did have yoghurt and fruit as that was part of the meal anyway.

My previously eat-anything 2 year old dd is currently going through this stage. I'm ignoring it. No coaxing, no spoon feeding, no attention paid - we all eat together and we eat the same things. If she doesn't want to eat, that's up to her.

No matter how much or little she's eaten, I offer her a piece of fruit or a (plain, natural) yoghurt for pudding.

She's also offered a mug of milk before bathtime, so I know she's not going to bed starving.

It did, but then dd wasn't exactly a big eater anyway so didn't bother her not having anything. And there was always bed time milk so she never went hungry completely.

But then I had to be harsh for her own good. My mil looked after her a couple of days a week while I was at work and would feed her all sorts of stuff despite me providing the food so she got used to the fact that she could leave dinner but still get some of Nan's toast or her uncles sausage etc. If I hadn't "re trained her" I'd have got a very fussy eater on my hands.

But I didn't make a big deal over it. I dished it all up for everyone, she was free to try whatever she wanted and was part of the meal whether she ate or not. So it never felt harsh to her if that makes sense.

Thanks. I think that's what I need to do, just not make a big deal over it. He eats masses of porridge for breakfast, usually okay at lunch. Maybe he's going through a bit so hungry phase. Also, I'm still BFing him, so have a subconscious urge to feed him up so he doesn't wake me in the night! But I know his eating doesn't really make any difference to this.

The advice would be different if this was a year down the line and he didnt eat anything or got distressed , then obviously I'd say give him what he does eat and make sure stuff is available to try.

But at that age they have no idea that theres alternative food unless you start doing the whole "presenting various options till he eats one" thing. If he's still BF and eating the other meals there's no need to worry. It may be more a case if him regulating his appetite than wanting different food if that makes sense.

Easier to sort now than giving in and having a fussy older one to deal with who thinks its normal to refuse the family meal and demand something else instead.

I cut out puddings when my dd stopped eating enough 'main course' when she was 18 months. She just wanted yogurt and that wasn't a road I wanted to go down.

I think it probably is just regulating his intake. I was fine with that when he was a younger baby. I suppose I've just got a bit over-involved with it as he's got older and doesn't eat as much as he did.

He's fine. I'll stop worrying! Thanks.

I think it probably is just regulating his intake. I was fine with that when he was a younger baby. I suppose I've just got a bit over-involved with it as he's got older and doesn't eat as much as he did.

He's fine. I'll stop worrying! Thanks.

Stella, I'm not sure there's a causal link between the two. My older DD ate everything she was given as a baby, but has still managed to become a fussy four year old.

I don't offer them anything else despite them asking until the next mealtime. In an evening we eat at 6pm. Supper is normally just after 8pm. It tends to be our evening dinner they get fussy over and tell me to give it to the dog.

If I was a terrible cook I wouldn't mind so much.

Dish up small amounts, which they need to eat.
If all goes, can have more or pudding (and crackers can be pudding if thats what they want)

Hide all other food from sight during meal times.

I used to make dd wait until I had finished (or a close as possible) then offer fruit and yoghurt as they were also important parts of her diet. As she has got older (now 2.7) she at least has to try everything on her plate and still has to wait until me and dp have finished our food for desert which is still fruit and yoghurt.

I think Stella means that its better that they don't find out that there is an option for having different food from the family meal.

I pandered to ds's 1 & 2 and they have been fussy, fussy eaters. With ds3 I was working more hours and had no time to pander. The food went on the table, was eaten or left and got cleared away. He is not the least bit fussy and will try anything. He is also very good at self regulating. He stops when he is full.

My advice is to ban the current favourites. DD2 went through a phase of chucking her food whole pointing at the fridge and shouting 'goggy'. I didn't give her yoghurt for a month. They just try it on, honestly. She's 21 months now and it seems to have passed.