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14 year old wont come home and girlfriends mum encouraging this

41 replies

worried100 · 05/10/2013 08:57

2 weeks ago my son went to hit me because i went to take his ipod off him as he was refusing to do anything i asked. this ended up with him storming out and going to his gf house. Then later that night about 9pm i get a knock at the door it was the police come to see if i was ok as my son and gf was at the local station saying i had hit my son. The police officer told me not to worry looks like he just spat his dummy out. But because off the accusation a social worker became involved. The social worker told me my son was going to stay at his gf over the weekend so he could calm down and her mum is happy for this. i agreed this on the understanding he would be home monday. Monday came i spoke with both police and ss and because there was no charge on me my son will be coming home. so ss rang his gf mum and told her to send him home she said no she is keeping him for the for see-able future because he don't want to go home. So a mediation meeting was set up for me and my son to meet this did not go well my son flipped and said his gf mum as said this and that (all lies but he believes her and i am the 1 lying. So the police went to see her and she told them she don't want my son there but her daughter does. so this was reported back to ss. It was then rearranged for me to collect him last night at 6 she told me he had gone out and wont be back till late. she then told ss she is keeping him. I don't like the idea that 2 14 year olds are living together and who are sexually active and all ready have a baby (who lives with me as gf mum wants baby adopted out as she dont want nothing to do with baby she as not told anybody about baby.). I am struggling to understand her she don't want to know baby but wants my son. How do i get him home???

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worried100 · 05/10/2013 15:24

Its more then a mess and everyday it seems to be getting worse. All the professionals keep telling me just to sit back and wait I cant do that my son needs help and I need help to get him home but can't get any. If I go up there and demand him home I get in to trouble.

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antimatter · 05/10/2013 15:33

are they both at school?

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 05/10/2013 15:48

This is such a mess and so so sad.

Why on earth is social services not helping this young girl and boy bond with their Baby and letting her Mum rule the roost?

Are you bringing up the baby as your own op, or is the baby going to know who his parents are? Intervention needs to be happening now from ss for both parents and the child.

worried100 · 05/10/2013 15:48

Yes they are both in school

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TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 05/10/2013 15:49

Sorry Op. I forgot to say that it is a wonderful thing you are doing Flowers

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 05/10/2013 15:50

I realise you say that the gf dad does not know about the baby?

Where was the gf whilst she was pregnant?

I would be very inclined to involve the gf dad in this. He has a right to know the full story and he may be able to help.

worried100 · 05/10/2013 15:53

I want baby to know the truth about her parents I believe honesty is best. But this is part off the mess I am in my son as told everyone the truth about baby but his gf mum as not told anybody at all and her daughter finds it hard because she wants people to know its her baby. Ss won't help them with baby as there is no funding to allow this but I have tried to help them both have time with baby.

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worried100 · 05/10/2013 15:56

When we found out she was pregnant at 30 weeks her mum hid her away from everbody. The poor girl could not go anywhere. I don't know any off their family the only person I have managed to find is the gfs mum sister.

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TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 05/10/2013 16:07

Ok. This is obviously an extremely difficult situation.
can I ask a few more questions op?

Has this been to court so you have 'official' pr of the child?
Does the school know about the baby?
Are there long term plans to have the baby adopted, And is the Mum of Baby having any kind of counselling to prepare her for this?
Does the Mum/ Your son show interest in the baby?

Without sorting out the issue of the baby I think it is going to be extremely hard to sort out getting your boy home.

worried100 · 05/10/2013 16:15

I am due to gety pr any day for baby both my son and gf have been asked if this is what they want and both have said yes.when baby was born I raised my concern with neonatel staff about my sons gf needs help as she not getting it from home. They got in touch with ss and her mum said it was not needed when they went to see her.
Yes the school know about baby and they are both getting support there.my son adores baby and shown lots off interest in here and even changed nappies. His gf did use to show an interest but she not seen baby since july. My son as sent messages asking how baby is why he as been at his gfs but that's the only communcation .

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TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 05/10/2013 17:29

It sounds like this whole thing has been handled terribly. No wonder your Son is confused and playing up.

Do you actually know the gf mum or any of her family?

Where is the dad?

Like I said previously I would without a doubt be getting hold of the gf dad and explaining what is going on. What gf mother is doing is very wrong to all 3 of those children and someone needs to make her see sense. Has she actually seen the baby?

worried100 · 05/10/2013 18:43

this is why i want my son home so he can get the help he needs. i don't know any of the gfs mum or dads family. i think i may off found some family members through facebook but not 100% sure yet. Apprently her dad sees my gf once a week and he will go mad if he knew she had a boyfriend never mind the rest off this stuff. but i have tried everything so may have to be a risk i take as i don't no what else to do. I dont want to be the one who lets this out the bag to her family that will make me the bad guy.

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worried100 · 05/10/2013 18:46

The gfs mum as only seen baby 4 times since she been born even when baby had meningitis she never bothered ringing hospital to see how baby was i made sure both my son and his gf was there everyday.

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bfow · 13/10/2013 01:54

what is the latest news on this

worried100 · 14/10/2013 19:22

not much as changed since posting this the gf mum is playing nasty games with myself, my son and ss. but the police and ss have worked out what she is upto they adviced me to seek legal advice from a solicitor which i have done. Just waiting to hear back from them.

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worried100 · 18/10/2013 12:33

I have now got my son out off his gf house but he his now refusing to home. he his staying with my mum. His head is a bad place now. he seems to think we are all against him. He as said the only person he can trust his is gf. Dont know what i can do to help him.Confused

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